


Artist

by skz_jpeg



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Blowjobs, Fluff, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Rimming, Sexual Content, Smut, Social Media, but when they do, choi jongho health nut, hongjoong likes to take nudes, i should stop saying their full names, instafamous!ateez, it's for 2 seconds, kim hongjoong as joongie, kim hongjoong likes to be sensual, kim hongjoong's an artist from new york, oh!, other members may take a while to appear, park seonghwa as mars park, park seonghwa is a foreigner, park seonghwa smokes??, park seonghwa tattoos, very suggestive content, woosansang, yungi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22501807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skz_jpeg/pseuds/skz_jpeg
Summary: joongie98 is less instafamous than his friends. but that just means he sees specific comments left by a specific someone that catches his attention.____________________or the one where hongjoong follows seonghwa's private instagram account and a semi-long distance relationship blossoms.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 289
Kudos: 653





	1. mars park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,720  
> twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> don't let this flop pls.

Hongjoong smiled down at his phone as he scrolled through the photos on Yeosang’s Instagram. He doubled tapped them then went on to the next post. He smiled at the first photo then slightly cringed at the next. Yeosang was on an anniversary vacation with both of his boyfriends, Wooyoung and San and they were truly cute. Hongjoong was so happy for them. But at the same time, he didn’t see the reason behind taking a photo of Wooyoung sleeping on his stomach on the hotel bed butt naked and showing half of his ass and then post it online for everyone to see. But then again, that’s not his boyfriend, not his relationship, not his problem.

He sighed as he liked those sets of photos as well and then he was caught up. He’s liked every single photo his friends have posted the last two days and Hongjoong still hasn’t posted in over a week. Him and all of his friends weren’t Insta famous or anything but they did have a decent amount of followers, especially Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang because of their relationship that they like to show online. Yunho and Mingi also have their fair share of followers and they gained more when they remind the app that they were a couple and then tag each other on the photo. Jongho focused on his fitness and diet on his page so a lot of his followers are people who either A. look to him for inspiration, B. truly listen to his advice and recipes, or C. drool at the shirtless he photos he’d occasionally take.

Hongjoong was proud of his 5,000 followers and he didn’t feel like he needed more. So it was fine if Woosansang had 20,000 or if Yungi had 17,000 or if Jongho had 10,000.

Hongjoong’s pictures didn’t have much of a theme but it definitely looked somewhat…sensual with a dash of basic artsy bitch. The last photo he posted was of the new jacket he upcycled and the one before that was of him crouching down in front of his full length mirror with the golden hour sun illuminating his boxer clad body. He was turned to the side to reveal his soft thighs and the shape of his bottom and the camera covered his face. He took a bunch of photos that day and the only ones he liked were the ones in which his face was covered. It be like that sometimes. The greenery of his several house plants really livened the photo and he loved taking pictures in that spot. Probably too much even.

So about the photos Yeosang, San, and Wooyoung take of each other...Hongjoong's single, okay? His body isn't reserved for anybody just yet. He can take nudes and post them. It's fine. Totally different situation.

He set his phone down after going through his explore page for a bit. He’d see posts of sceneries, of other artsy bitches, of cute e-girls, the occasional kpop video, and the occasional cute boys. Hongjoong was…picky when it came to his men. He was only a little embarrassed to say that his next boyfriend had to be handsome and hot and tall and with a nice body. Maybe that was shallow of him especially considering he wasn’t any of those things, at least in his eyes, but maybe that’s why he wanted that in a boyfriend, the complete opposite of him.

Hongjoong sighed. It was only 4 pm, he still had at least another 6 hours to kill before he can succumb to sleep so he doesn’t completely mess up his schedule…again. _Well,_ he thought, _might as well take selfies._ He sat up and began removing his clothes. He was in _that_ kind of mood. He stopped at his boxer’s waistband and thought about it. Was he in a nakey mood or a just underwear kind of mood? He’ll just have to start and see what he ends up with.

He kept his underwear on for now as he set up the phone on his nightstand. He put it on top of books and an empty shoe box before he deemed it good enough. After setting up the self-timer, he jumped onto his bed and posed on his stomach. He tried a few poses but it just didn’t feel good enough to post. He tried to pull his boxers down a little bit so the top half of his ass showed but he still wasn’t feeling it. In the end, he ditched the boxers entirely and posed for a few more photos. Sitting naked on his bed, he reviewed them all and immediately deleted the first 30 photos that he took where he wasn’t naked.

His attention was caught by one of the last few. He would have to put an emoji over his side crotch that was exposed but this was the one. He was still on his stomach with his knee bent and he had leaned back as if he was about to roll over and his hand was rubbing at his eye, both of which were closed as if he had just woken up. This was the vibe he didn’t know he was going for.

He quickly chose a pink flower emoji and made it as small as he possibly could to cover his dick that was clearly showing then fixed the lighting so it was more golden on his skin and then just like that, posted it. He put the Zzz emoji on his caption and called it a day. He waited a few seconds before refreshing the page and saw he had gotten 20 likes already and 2 comments. One with several heart eyes and another that just said ‘HOT’.

Hongjoong grinned and refreshed again. 36 likes. 3 comments. Refresh again. 42 likes. 5 comments. He refreshed a few more times until a certain comment caught his attention. Well, their profile picture as well.

_mars.psh: Gorgeous. I could take pictures of you all day_

The comment ended with the same pink flower emoji that Hongjoong used. This kind of comment wasn’t unusual, really, but that profile picture. He clicked on his page to see it better and saw that his account was set to private. Hongjoong frowned. He really would like to see more of him.

The profile picture was of a guy with jet black hair breathing out smoke that covered a lot of his features but from what Hongjoong could see, he was Hot with a capital H. He read his description.

_Mars Park. 22. Artist._

How interesting. Usually, artists like to show off their work not keep their account private unless they had two different accounts. Did this Mars have another account? Well, he couldn’t really find that out.

Still, Hongjoong had nothing to lose. He requested to follow and then he was back to his photo and refreshing the page. He smiled and replied to a few comments before deciding that was enough Instagram…for the hour.

He didn’t really feel like putting his underwear back on so he made his way to his living room where he turned on the TV and let it play in the background while he made himself some ramen and an egg.

After his food was done and plated he brought it to the foldable table next to the couch and he retrieved his phone from his bed and sat down on his couch. He checked his Instagram again because he had a problem and lowkey, he wondered if this Mars Park would accept his request.

Oh shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, he did. Hongjoong was quick to click on his profile and his jaw dropped.

Very first photo, shirtless, black Adidas sweatpants, tattoos! He wants this man for dinner. Fuck the ramen. He wants _him_. He double tapped that photo. He checked the next one. A set of 3 photos that he took on a mirrored elevator. On from the doors, one from the walls, and one from the ceiling. He had on all black, ripped jeans, boots, and a black mask covering his face. Hongjoong has yet to see his full face.

Next photo, why did this one have to be cute? Mars was hiding behind the shoulder of a toddler who was smiling hugely at the camera. He could see that the child was sitting on top of Mars with her back against Mars cheek and chin. Still, no clear view of his face and another thing that he noticed was that he didn’t put any caption on any of the posts. Just a single period. That was odd.

But the next one, dear Lord. Mr. Park was pushing his hair back, a ring on each finger, a septum piercing on display, an eyebrow piercing above his blue eyes, and the tip of his tongue licking at the corner of his gorgeous lips. Whomst the fuck gave him permission to look like that? Whomst? Hongjoong really needs to know.

He ended up liking that photo too and Hongjoong decided he needed to stop before Mars finds out and realizes that Hongjoong was thirsting over him too much. That didn’t mean that he didn’t scroll all the way down to his first photo. He didn’t realize that Mars only had 23 photos. How sad.

The first photo he ever posted was the same picture he had as his profile picture. He almost double tapped it. Almost. Finally, Hongjoong set his phone down. His battery was down to 21 percent and it was still only 4:30pm.

After he finished his early dinner, and let’s be real, he’ll eat a second dinner later, he went back on his phone after plugging it in to charge. He checked his DMs like he normally did and answered a selective few, laughed at the memes that people would send him but then he spotted that Mars fucking Park sent him a DM. An hour ago. Fuck!

Hongjoong quickly clicked on it and read it.

_mars.psh: hey, not that i mind, but why did you request to follow me? also, i think your page is really nice._

Why did that message sound so dry? It was all the punctuation marks. He really needed to learn to use more emojis and capital letters and exclamation points. That’ll liven everything up at least a tad.

Hongjoong responded:

_joongie98: honestly, i saw your comment on my latest post and i liked your d.p. so i was curious about you…and thank you! i try_

Hongjoong stared at his phone for probably too long, waiting to see if he’ll respond quickly. He didn’t want to lose this chat in the midst of all the other ones. In the end, after 7 minutes have passed, he locked his phone and sighed. Man, he was so hot.

Admittedly, Hongjoong got so invested in the movie that was playing on the TV that he completely forgot about Mars’ chat. It wasn’t until mid-shower that he remembered. He quickly rinsed off the soap from his hair and body and just barely put his robe on before flying into his room and searching frantically for the chat.

When he found it, Mars had sent him two. Count them, TWO messages.

_mars.psh: oh, i see. thanks i guess_  
_mars.psh: btw, i hope you don’t find this creepy, but i seen you at starbucks before_

Hongjoong nearly dropped his phone. They’ve indirectly met?? How? That can’t be possible. Hongjoong would surely have noticed him. He’s fucking attractive as shit. How did he not notice him?

_joongie98: no way! you live in new york??? i feel like i would have noticed you…_

Hongjoong waited even longer this time. 10 minutes and then he saw that he read his message. He squeaked and held his phone with two hands and watched as he typed.

_mars.psh: no, i live in boston but i visit a friend there and i just happen to see you_

Hongjoong squeaked again in a fit of different emotions. Embarrassed because he could have looked awful that day, shy because he got noticed by him, happy because he recognized him, then sad because they didn’t live in the same city.

_mars.psh: you had red h air_  
_mars.psh: hair*_

Hongjoong immediately started typing. That was like 2 months ago.

_joongie98: ah! that was a while ago…would you be visiting again anytime soon??_

Hongjoong put a hand over his mouth as he awaited an answer to such a bold question. He could see that Mars was online, he could also see that he read his message but it still took him a second to reply. If Hongjoong didn’t want to ruin his perfectly painted nails, he would’ve bitten them down to the nub.

Finally, he was typing.

_mars.psh: i might come back around october for a bit._

Hongjoong frowned. October was 3 months away!

_joongie98: aww that’s such a long time! ☹☹☹_

_mars.psh: it costs money, joongie_

Nobody calls him Joongie. Not in real life at least. His followers would sometimes refer to him as that or as Hongjoong, the name he had written on his bio but there was something so satisfying about Mars calling him that.

_mars.psh: also i’m not from here so driving myself makes me nervous_

_joongie98: ah! where are you from??_

_mars.psh: south korea. i moved here one year ago_

Hongjoong never wished he knew more Korean than he did just then. He understood quite a bit because his mother spoke it to him constantly but he’d always speak to her in English and so, by default, his Korean speaking skills leave a lot to be desired.

_joongie98: wooow that must’ve been difficult for you huh??_

_mars.psh: it was because i wasn’t good in english. i’m still not the best but im okay when typing_

_joongie98: that’s kinda how i am with korean. i understand it perfectly fine but i can’t speak it well.  
_joongie98: if we ever meet up, you can speak to me in korean and i’ll speak to you in english 😊 deal??__

Bold, Hongjoong, bold.

_mars.psh: sure. but why would you want to meet me?_  
_mars.psh: i don’t mean to sound rude but im just a random person to you_

Hongjoong frowned. That is true and Hongjoong actually wondered if Mars wasn’t so hot, would Hongjoong be willing to meet up with him.

_joongie98: if i’m sounding like i’m forcing you to meet with me, i’m not._  
_joongie98: you know what i realize this is weird on my part. sorry. ignore what i said_

Hongjoong locked his phone and shoved his face into his pillow. God, why did he say anything to him? He tried very hard to ignore the urge to look at his phone. He really did. But he barely lasted a minute and when he checked, Mars sent him a long message.

_mars.psh: no i am sorry. i don’t want you to think i wouldn’t want to meet you. i just don’t understand why you’d be want to meet me. i followed you for around 5 months and i like your photos. not just of you but the art you share with everyone is really nice. please understand im just very…궁금합니다…_

Hongjoong took his time reading those Korean characters but he understood why Mars felt that way.

_joongie98: if it would make you feel better, we can just chat until october comes and if you still think i wouldn’t want to meet you, then we don’t have to. but i think you’re an interesting person so far. you put ‘artist’ on your bio yet you don’t share any art and your account is on private…that’s what made me curious about you_

_mars.psh: my life is my art._  
_mars.psh: my life is private._

What a fucking ‘i am an artist’ type of shit to say. How fucking deep. Hongjoong’s phone slipped from his fingers and hit him on the face right on the cheek and almost hitting his eye. He had a small little rage fit about it before beginning to type.

_joongie98: mars fucking park, you’re such an interesting bean. please let me get to know you more_

_mars.psh: if it means getting better at english, sure_

_joongie98: is that all i am to you now? i am hurt mars ☹_

_mars.psh: you’re a gorgeous piece of art on the outside. i don’t know much about your inside though_

_joogie98: i’ll accept that. let’s be friends then, mars._

_mars.psh: sure, joongie_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i usually don't like social media au's because they remind me of text fics...which i also don't like...bUT social media au's can be pretty neat sometimes...
> 
> so, friends, here we are with a new story. i promise to not delete this one unless it flops.
> 
> for anyone who's new to my stories, hello! i am a fellow staytiny who's seeing stray kids in a few days and i don't know how to emotionally react about that.  
> also, i deeply enjoy comments, so much. they brighten my day especially long ones. please. ramble to me about anything. i'll read and respond to every single comment bc i love you. give me constructive criticism, if i say/write something offensive, pls educate me. it's happened before and i appreciate it a lot.
> 
> if you don't wish to write a comment, that's okay too!! you don't have to. just know i appreciate you <3<3<3
> 
> if a certain chapter has any trigger warnings, i will remind you in the beginning notes to refer to the end notes of that chapter for any so i don't spoil it for those who don't wish to see them. this story will contain smut bc i am a dirty child but again, i will alert you of it.  
> also, this story is clearly fictional so i do not want to hear a (bad)word about seonghwa smoking or having tattoos or piercings or hongjoong taking nudes okay??? thanks.
> 
> alrighty i love you MWUAH
> 
> edit: translation!!  
> 1.궁금합니다 (gung geum hab ni da): i am curious


	2. only 너

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,388  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> soz is a little short

Hongjoong hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. He’s been awake for 2 hours but he’s spent a good half hour staring at Mars’ new upload. Hongjoong was the 15th person to like the photo that now had 42 likes. He was just so…captivating. Mars posted this photo for him, he’s sure. He thought back to the conversation they had before calling it a night.

_joongie98: how come you’re always covering your face in some way in your photos? ☹_

_mars.psh: my esthatic…is that how it’s spell?_

Hongjoong smiled like a little school girl. He was already so infatuated with him, what the hell?

_joongie98: aesthetic* and really, i don’t agree with it. you should show your face more. it’s a really handsome face_

Hongjoong cringed slightly at his sorry excuse for flirting but he still eagerly awaited his reply.

_mars.psh:…if you think so_

_joongie98: i really do_

And what a coincidence, Hongjoong fucking Kim wakes up to a clear photo of Mars fucking Park’s face. Mars was still in bed revealing his navy blue sheets. He was shirtless and his hair was a bit of a mess and his eyes were squinting at the light that shone through the cracks of his blinds and yet Hongjoong was entranced. He wished he could like the photo more than once to show him how much he appreciated it.

His lips looked very glossy even though it was still so early and he just woke up, his septum ring was crooked but that was fine! It was his beautiful, freshly woken up face! Hongjoong even felt inclined to comment.

_joongie98: what a handsome man you are, mars_

Hongjoong tried to go through his explore page but he always found himself back at Mars’ page. He wished there were more photos for him to stare at.

Eventually, he did get up and got ready for the day. He was going on a ‘date’ with Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho. He liked going on dates with them but only if Jongho came along so they can both be alone together.

Hongjoong dressed in a red, white, and black plaid pants, a black short sleeved mock neck that he tucked into his pants and secured them with a belt, and his favorite platform boots that gave him a good 1 and a half extra inches. He did simple makeup on his face and drew on his eyebrows just a little bit of a darker blonde so he didn’t look like they were shaved off and after applying a red tint to his lips, he felt satisfied.

He took a quick boomerang in the mirror by the front door and posted it to his story before leaving.

Halfway to Dave & Busters, Hongjoong’s discord dings. Oh, yeah. He asked Mars if he had a discord and he said no…but he made one just for him and Hongjoong felt special.

_mars.psh: you look cute today_

Hongjoong smiled.

_joongie98: you saw my boomerang??_

_mars.psh: of course i did_  
_mars.psh: i like when you show off your waist like that. it looks nice_

Hongjoong has come to find out that Mars really liked to compliment Hongjoong quite boldly on his appearance and Hongjoong didn’t mind. Not one bit. Especially when he’s got a lot to say on Mars’ appearance as well.

_joongie98: i’ll keep that in mind then 😉_

_mars.psh: btw…i got a lot of requests this morning from people who follow you…_

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed until he remembered that he commented on his photo.

_joongie98: oh shit!! i’m sorry i didn’t think w hen i comment on your photo that ppl might see it and try to follow you  
joongie98: do you want me to tell them to stop?? cause i totally will. damn it, i’m sorry mars ☹_

_mars.psh: no it’s fine! i just realized this and wanted to tell you  
mars.psh: it’s kind of fun tho…_

_joongie98: what is?? teasing my followers with your private account that they won’t be able to see ?? lol_

_mars.psh: yeah…i like the mysterious type_

_joongie98: i’m not very mysterious tho…_

_mars.psh: i mean i like to be mysterious_

_joongie98: oh right it’s your ~aesthetic~ isn’t it??_

_mars.psh: exactly  
mars.psh: i only have followers that i know or have met before…and then you too_

_joongie98: so i’m special??_

_mars.psh: you are._

Hongjoong smiled and decided to send him a quick selfie. He cupped his face and scrunched his eyes closed with a smile and sent it to him.

_joongie98: 고마웡~~~_

_mars.psh: you’re so gorgeous, joongie_

Hongjoong actually had to stomp on the ground a little as a giddy smile took over his face.

_joongie98: stop being so sweet!! i’m meltinggg_

_mars.psh: that’s because it’s 86 degrees outside_

_joongie98: or because a certain mars park likes to make me blush_

_mars.psh: how dare he? only i should do that_

Hongjoong liked how Mars would joke around with him. The way he typed was very dry but it had an underlining playfulness to it and Hongjoong really liked it.

_joongie98: yeah, you better be careful or he’ll steal my heart…_

It took a while for him to reply but when he saw the Dave & Busters sign down the street, his discord dinged again. He wasn’t ready for what he was about to see. Mars sent him a selfie, a bathroom mirror selfie. This time, good for Hongjoong’s sanity, he was wearing a long sleeved shirt tucked into his jeans with a belt around the loops. It was a simple [selfie](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/9f/1a/a9/9f1aa95bec6b25c5efe568c4f6498e8a.jpg) but with it, he wrote:

_mars.psh: I will just give you some of mine_

Hongjoong was thinking about that selfie all fricking day. He missed several points during every single game that he would normally ace at but that was okay. He couldn’t get the huge plushie he’s been saving all his points for for 3 months but that was okay. He couldn’t immediately respond to Mars’ messages and see what he wrote him but that was okay.

Because when he got home, Mars sent him another selfie, unwarranted but that. Was. O. Freaking. Kay.

Mars had sent him a close up [selfie](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b9/0b/3a/b90b3ad355a12119adb1d90e40ba8f30.jpg) of his face. He was laying down on top of a pillow and he was pouting ever so slightly. With it, he wrote:

_mars.psh: are you home now?_

Hongjoong quickly saved the photo the same way he saved the other one then went into his room to take a selfie of his own. He took a few wanting it to be perfectly casual even though he was trying hard to look attractive enough but in the end he chose [one](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/15/ca/91/15ca913116f8dac15fece0580ef65be8.jpg) and sent it before he could change his mind.

_joongie98: nice and safe in my little room :3_

_mars.psh: good. go get comfortable before talking to me_

Hongjoong smiled and did just that. He removed all his makeup, holding his hair back with a Ryan headband. He did his skincare routine, albeit a little rushed but the point is his skin is supple and moisturized. He dressed into an oversized hoodie and briefs and crawled into bed. He plugged his phone in before opening the discord chat again and taking another selfie.

He held up a peace sign and puckered his lips then sent it.

_joongie98: nice and comfy!_

_mars.psh: do you mind if i save that photo?_

Hongjoong squeaked and moved his legs around, feeling like he was fangirling.

_joongie98: of course! you don’t have to ask…i should tell you though i saved the photos you sent me…_

_mars.psh: that’s fine. they’re just for you though_

_joongie98: they better be ): < _

Hongjoong may be acting like it was no big deal that he said that…but it was a big fucking deal in Hongjoong’s heart. Just for him?? No one else has seen those photos but him??? Can he have more????

_mars.psh: i don’t sent other people photos of myself…they already see me a lot_  
_mars.psh: but honestly i don’t want others to see what i sent you…is that okay?_

_joongie98: of course it is. and i feel the same way. i may not hide a lot of myself online but my selfies are for you only 😊 my number one fan…맞지?_

_mars.psh: 맞아. Only 너._

Hongjoong giggled and nearly hugged his phone. Why the hell was Mars so fucking cute and hot at the same time??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a few things  
> 1\. do you need/want me to translate the hangul parts or nah??  
> 2\. would you like me to continue using photo references for you to see or nah??  
> 3\. are you guys doing well or nah??
> 
> a biss wants to know thnx
> 
> love you MWUAH <3<3
> 
> edit: ok translations! in order of usage.
> 
> 1.고마웡~~~ (gomawong~~~): cute way of saying thank you  
> 2\. 맞지? (majji?): right?  
> 3\. 맞아 (maja): right/correct  
> 4\. Only 너 (only neo): only you
> 
> if i missed one let me know :):) translations for the first chapter will also be up if you missed them :)


	3. noodz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,330  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: unseasoned spice ahead. so unseasoned, the flavor doesn't exist. so unseasoned, water has more taste. if you wish to know more of this mild TW, pls refer to the end notes.***  
> *  
> *  
> *

They’ve been talking for a week and a half. A good 9 days and Hongjoong’s already whipped. He hasn’t even uploaded photos of himself on Instagram because he’s been sending them all to Mars. So instead, he’s been posting his works in progress art pieces and one photo of his arm that he’s been using as a palette to mix his colors.

But behind the scenes, he’s sent his nudes practically to Mars for his opinion before posting them and then never ended up posting them.

 _joongie98:[어때?](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/d5/af/b7/d5afb72f1fd5e92d5d5d9994204e630d.jpg)?_  
He wore a crop top and raised his arms to show his torso.  
 _joongie98:[이 사진이 어때](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/36/5c/59/365c5974d7c3b4a638a2c2a29000aa30.jpg)????_  
He wore an oversized dress shirt with no pants and took a picture of his thighs.  
 _joongie98:[이건 어때](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8d/94/7b/8d947bacf64d292e5d81609fde5cf43b.jpg)~~?_  
This one made him a little nervous even though he’s posted things like this before and Mars has surely seen them. Him commenting on one of them is how Hongjoong found him, for Christ’s sake.  
He bought himself red roses just for this. Just to make himself a nice warm bath and throw the flowers in the water with him. He sent him a picture he took of the side of his hip with a flower resting on top of it. In the photo, he could see the shape of his ass and his supple thighs and even his belly button. He made sure he could see nothing else though. Still, Mars made him feel more beautiful than just sexual.

_mars.psh: your body looks so soft. like you take care of yourself well. no one would need the flower to catch their attention but the red really makes it stand out_

Hongjoong wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that but the next message he sent made him want to not share the photo with anyone else.

_mars.psh: i would love to take more photos of you like that_

Mars always snuck that in in random conversations. How much he would love to take photos of him, for him. Never with him though. Hongjoong got a little excited at the idea of Mars telling him to move or pose a certain way as he took photos of him. He would love to be his little model.

In the end, he posted a photo of just his legs, mid-thigh and below, with the roses surrounding them.

Hongjoong was bored one night and so he decided to check Instagram again. It’s not like he checked it just 30 minutes ago. A lot can happen in 30 minutes though.

He smirked at a photo of Wooyoung with makeup haphazardly drawn on his face that made him look like an actual clown and he himself didn’t look so amused. Blue eyeshadow all over his eyes like a raccoon, eyeliner not done right whatsoever, eyebrows consisted of one straight line with the same black eyeliner, super pink cheeks and red lips overdrawn like they weren’t plump enough to begin with. The next image of the same post was a video clearly shot by San, the one who posted the set. San was giggling as Yeosang and him woke Wooyoung up from his nap on the couch, the makeup now clearly drawn on his face while he slept.

“Hmm?” Wooyoung hummed in the video and he slowly sat up when he heard his boyfriends giggling. It ended like that. On the caption, San wrote:

_saniekyuu: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ doesn’t he look so beautiful??_

After catching up on liking his friends’ posts, he searched for Mars’ page. Something caught his eye though. An hour ago, it said 25 photos, and now it said 24?? Which one did he delete??

Hongjoong looked at them all and then, with a gasp, he realized which one he deleted. It was a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ab/16/ca/ab16ca2dfc6d09b077ec0237d7fca190.jpg) that made Hongjoong want to shove himself into his lap. Mars was sitting, manspreading like hell, smoking a cigarette and looking so cozy. It was clear someone else took the photo of him but, gods, did Hongjoong find him so hot.

But right now, he felt offended. Why would he delete that photo? Hongjoong went onto discord to ask him just that.

_joongie98: um, excuse the fuck out of me? ?? why would you delete that blessed photo???_

_mars.psh: i didn’t think you would notice_

_joongie98: mars, i’m your number one fan. of course i’d notice!! and i am offended!!_

_mars.psh: why offended??_

It was such a small thing to giggle over but Mars had begun to use too many question marks and the likes just how Hongjoong does.

_joongie98: because!!!! you looked so hot ☹_

_mars.psh: do i not look hot on the others one?_   
_mars.psh: other ones*_

_joongie98: oh you know you do. butbut you looked like really hot in that one…why would you delete it?!!!??_

_mars.psh: I don’t have more than 25 posts at once_

Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows and looked around at his non-existent crowd as if saying ‘you see this shit?’

_joongie98: i don’t understand your logic, mars park. but y ou best send me that photo asap_

_mars.psh: please stop using words i don’t understand. what is asap?_

Hongjoong giggled.

_joongie98: !!! it means as soon as possible. As in right now. Send me the photo right now before i lose it!!_

_mars.psh: lose what?_

Hongjoong whined loudly.

_joongie98: mars!!!!!!!!!!!!! send me the photo ☹_

_mars.psh: i don’t have it anymore_

Hongjoong could cry. Maybe he was being overdramatic but Mars also rarely posts full body photos…or like…3/4 body photos?? Point is his legs are almost never in the photos and Hongjoong has a thing for thighs.

_joongie98: ☹  
joongie98: i haven’t felt this sad since i spilled coffee on my painting 3 weeks ago_

Mars didn’t respond for a few minutes. By that time, Hongjoong finally set his phone down and actually paid attention to the show he was watching, that is until two dings alerted him that he got new discord messages.

_mars.psh: do you forgive me now?_

Another mirror [selfie](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/25/20/6d/25206da4288df9e589dbce5c400feadd.jpg) that covered half of his face with his phone. Hongjoong thought about what he was about to ask of him. Would it be too much?

_joongie98: if you send me a pic of your thighs, i might consider it…_

Hongjoong sent it before he could think about it more and then threw his phone across the couch. He watched it bounce and then he had a mini heart attack when it looked like it was about to bounce off and onto the floor but then it didn’t. He hugged his legs to his chest and waited but then he started to think about it.

Wait, that was kind of too much wasn’t it? What if he was pressuring Mars to take those kinds of photos for him? He really should take it back, shouldn’t he? His legs were itching to jump for the phone to take it back when it dinged. Hongjoong squealed when it dinged a second time. Shit, shit. Did he actually send a photo or was he reprimanding him for asking such a thing? What if he sent a photo of his bare thighs?? No, no he wouldn’t…right?

His curiosity got the best of him and he slowly crawled up to his phone. He sent. An image.

He opened it before reading what he sent and it wasn’t as scandalous as he was thinking but it still got something stirring in his stomach. The [picture](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b4/97/f1/b497f19b729d9bcd6e69eb3477a1bee3.jpg) was more of his crotch than his thighs but still.

_mars.psh: am i forgiven?_

Is he…is he forgiven??? Hongjoong would beg for _his_ forgiveness at this point. For what? God, anything to sit in between his legs right now.

_joongie98: you got me feeling a different type of crazy now  
joongie98: do i really have to wait until october to see you??_

_mars.psh: 성급해 하지마_

_joongie98: ???_

Hongjoong frowned, not quite knowing what that meant. He was about to stick it in google translate when he sent him another message.

_mars.psh: i’ll be there soon_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: so this unseasoned spice consists of spicy photo references and hongjoong being thirsty for ~mars~ but what's new. if you don't wish to see the photos, don't click on them <3
> 
> translations:  
> 1\. 어때?? (eottae??): how's this??  
> 2\. 이 사진이 어때???? (i sajini eottae????): how is this picture????  
> 3\. 이건 어때~~? (igeon eottae~~?): how about this one~~?  
> 4.성급해 하지마 (seonggeubhae hajima): don't be impatient
> 
> so for the future, some photos may be of women because only women satisfy what i am envisioning. sometimes, nobody does so some may not have references and you'll need to use your imagination.
> 
> k love you MWUAH


	4. 이렇게

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,520  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: if you wish to know the tw, please refer to the end notes***  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> if you're early, pls give me a moment to find all the reference photos eeee

_mars.psh_ sent him a video. That’s what he woke up to. A video sent to him via discord. A video of him moving and shit. A video of him reminding Hongjoong that a whole man like him exists. It was a short 3 second clip of Mars just moving around in his room until he stood in front of his blinds where a line of rainbow fell across his cheek. Mars smirked then winked then ended the video as well as Hongjoong’s sanity. Mars fucking Park has gotten bold, hasn’t he? Thinking it was okay to wake Hongjoong up with that? He was shirtless too!! Like fucking every morning!! Two can play that game.

Hongjoong went and brushed his teeth then stripped to get in the shower. He was careful with his phone as he set up to record himself. He was aiming for funny with a dash of sexy. He filmed himself walking forward into the water and letting it crash all over his face. He closed one eye as the water began splashing everywhere and then he cut off the video. Looking over it, he smirked at the threat of the camera filming too low and then sent it. Take that, Mars.

He forced himself to not look at his phone until he was done showering. But when he was done, before he even dried his body, he dried his hands and grabbed his phone.

_mars.psh: i’d love to take photos of you in the rain  
mars.psh: i’d take photos of you everywhere  
mars.psh: when you’re done get warm. i have something to ask you_

Hongjoong was smiling and then he was tilting his head in curiosity. What did he want to ask him that he couldn’t just ask right then and there? Still, Hongjoong did what he was told and dressed in briefs and a hoodie like he usually does when he’s home and sat down in the living room after grabbing a family sized bag of chips.

_joongie98: warm and clean! what’d you want to ask me??_

_mars.psh: show me_

_joongie98: that i’m warm??_

Without waiting for a response, Hongjoong sent him a selfie, holding out a peace sign with his legs bent up to his chest so his feet were on the couch and not touching the cold floor.

_mars.psh: you’re not wearing pants. how are you warm??_

Hongjoong shook his head and grabbed a fluffy blanket from his room. He sat on his floor and wrapped himself in it and took a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0c/ac/2f/0cac2ff638758734be189dad99fd8a55.jpg) from his mirror and sending it before getting up and dragging the blanket to the couch.

_joongie98: happy????_

_mars.psh: no i can’t see your face ☹_

Mars really had the audacity, the GALL to complain about not seeing _his_ face??????

_joongie98: are you srs???? you never show me your face either!!!_

_mars.psh: it’s not part of my aesthetic_

Hongjoong rolled his eyes but had to laugh.

_joongie98: you’re too much sometimes, mars_

Still, just for him, Hongjoong took another photo of his face and sent it to him.

_joongie98: the things i do for you_

_mars.psh: gorgeous._

Hongjoong blushed. Oh. He was back to being charming.

_joongie98: mars you make me blush_

_mars.psh: i’d love to see that in person one day_

_joongie98: you will in october…right?_

_mars.psh: 당연하지_

Hongjoong smiled. He didn’t have to translate that.

_joongie98: 😊 so what did you want to ask me?_

He watched as Mars typed then backspaced then typed again then backspaced. Hongjoong bit his lip in anticipation. Why was he taking so long?

_mars.psh: so, sorry if i sound too much but, would it be too awkward if we exchange pics and videos like that?  
mars.psh: i mean from me as well  
mars.psh: if i sent you photos like the ones you sent me…would it be too much?_

Hongjoong felt like doing kickflips. Hongjoong doesn’t mind sending nudes…or almost nudes to Mars and Mars never minded. The closest thing to anything remotely less than innocent were of him shirtless. Not even the photo of his thighs were too much but those images already drove Hongjoong crazy. He has those photos in an album on his phone so he can view them all at once without having to search for them. If Mars started to send him photos that were a little less than innocent, he’d have to make a whole new album for those.

Hongjoong got bold again.

_joongie98: hmm…send me an example and i’ll tell you…_

Hongjoong wasn’t ready for what he was about to see. He didn’t even know what to expect but…Hongjoong needed a moment in his bed, with _that_ image burned into the backs of his eyelids.

_mars.psh:[이렇게](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/bd/45/c6/bd45c68a278394a8b5d5849513851287.jpg)_

It was just…the thought of his hand going in there…the idea of him touching himself like that…was he real? Was this real? Is this a long fever dream that he’s having about this guy?

_mars.psh: maybe with less clothes…  
mars.psh: is that too much?_

Less….clothes….??????

_joongie98: mars, i’ve shown you all the nudes i’ve ever taken practically. this isn’t too much. in fact…maybe it’s not enough…_

Was he really going there?

_mars.psh: youd have to earn more…_

Hongjoong smirked and pressed his tongue against the corner of his top lip. So, it’s going to be like that?

_joongie98: fine then. you’d have to work for mine as well_

_mars.psh: it’s fair  
mars.psh: btw, this is what i meant about videos_

Oh, _oh_. It was a short clip. Only 7 seconds. But very much like the first clip he sent him, it made him lose his marbles. Again. Just when he thought he got them all back in his little bag.

He was in the same location, same mirror, but this time, he brought a hand under his shirt and moved his hand slowly up his chest therefore lifting his shirt until it was under his neck. He bit it to hold it up then smirked as his hand quickly traveled down to cup his crotch and then ended the video right there. Right fucking there. He hated him. Hated him. How could he do this to him?

_joongie98: this is war, mars park. i’ll leave you wanting more_

_mars.psh: you’re on_

Hongjoong took this seriously. For the next few days, they would try to out-sexy each other without showing their actual genitalia.

It started with Hongjoong sending him a [picture](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3d/95/62/3d956212840ba6a3416f1910921d6394.jpg) he took through a small circular mirror he had in his bathroom. He had just finished showering and shaving…everywhere and showed only his torso and his pubic area right before the base of his dick began.

Mars sent him back a [picture](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6f/6c/fd/6f6cfd4d29303f1a83ee8522679220d4.jpg) of him in a white dress shirt, black slacks, and a belt on except the belt was unbuckled and his hand was zipping down his slacks. Hongjoong needed another moment.

Later, Hongjoong sent him a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7b/78/72/7b7872ee8d71034b3b8090da20ec3258.jpg) of his naked silhouette on the ground during golden hour. He was facing to the side but his leg was positioned in a way that it wouldn’t give away the actual shape of his dick. His ass looked great though.

Mars [sent](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/73/9d/9f/739d9f40e9d415b47f8ccd3e1a134323.jpg) back a whole crotch shot. In sweatpants. And of course no shirt. But this time, it was clear he had no underwear underneath and there was a bit of a tent formed. It got Hongjoong excited yet again. God, he hoped nobody went through his photo albums if they get a hand on his phone.

One morning, Hongjoong decided he needed to be bolder and sent him a video. He had slept naked the night before so he recorded how his body looked in his all white bed. He was laying on his stomachwith his leg bent just enough to leave a shadow where his dick was. He didn’t even attempt to hide his ass though and let it show completely and sent it. 10 seconds of just that. He didn’t know when Mars would wake up and see it but he was excited to see how he’d react.

Hongjoong rested his eyes for a bit just to wake up over an hour later to several dings coming from his phone.

 _mars.psh: that’s…wow_  
i know you’re gorgeous but wow  
i can’t top this one

Hongjoong smirked and turned onto his back to use both hands to type.

_joongie98: i’d still like to see you try though_

Mars sent him a video a few seconds later in a similar style to Hongjoong except he was on his back and he had on grey briefs. There was just enough light to see that he was fucking hard under there. Mars followed Hongjoong’s idea and filmed that area, revealing a thigh tattoo that went all the way up to the point where he couldn’t see it anymore because of his underwear. Hongjoong really wanted to see the top of it. But then his attention caught sight of a small wet patch forming on the side of his briefs, right where the head of his cock should be. Fuck…he was a nice size. 7 seconds of that. He only needed 7 seconds for his own dick to twitch in interest.

_joongie98: you win_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: very suggestive content, sharing of nudes, sexual content, if you wish to skip this chapter, you could.**
> 
> translations:  
> 1\. 당연하지 (dangyeonhaji): of course  
> 2\. 이렇게 (ireohke): like this


	5. can you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,407  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: if you wish to know the tw, please refer to the end notes***  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> if you're early, pls give me a moment to find all the reference photos eeee

Hongjoong was still reeling from that video even after he was done touching himself to the point of orgasming over it. Mars didn’t send him another message until about 20 minutes later.

_mars.psh: was that too much?_

_joongie98: no. not at all. fuck that was so hot mars  
joongie98: you made me do naughty things_

Hongjoong had to admit to him. It was only fair, right?

_mars.psh: me too…it’s not awkward right?_

_joongie98: not if you don’t want it to be_

_mars.psh: say it simple for me_

_joongie98: i really liked it mars. did you like my video?_

Hongjoong smiled as he waited for his response. Mars was pretty bold sometimes but it was like he instantly regretted it or second guessed himself after he sends it. It was kind of cute, though.

_mars.psh I really, really really really really really realy  
mars.psh: really really really really really_

Hongjoong giggled as he sent a few more really’s.

_mars.psh: really liked it. but at the same time…i don’t want you to think that this is the only reason i want to talk to you…_

_joongie98: i don’t want you to think that’s why i wanted to talk to you either…it’s a plus, though isn’t it?  
joongie98: like i like talking to you and i look forward to your messages about anything. about what you did that day or what you’re planning to do but then you send me pictures and videos and it’s a plus. i like taking pictures for you, though…do you enjoy receiving them???_

_mars.psh: of course i do  
mars.psh: i think you’re gorgeous  
mars.psh: and it’s honor to receive them_

Hongjoong smiled and decided to send him a cute, innocent selfie. He put his round glasses on and brought the phone real close to his face and grinned cutely at the camera, should one shoulder peeking at the corner of the photo.

_joongie98: not every photo we send has to be naughty right?? do you like my selfies??_

_mars.psh: i love them. you’re so cute_

Hongjoong bit back a grin and sent him another one but this time with a peace sign and a wink with a scrunched up nose.

_joongie98: send me a cute one of you!_

_mars.psh: i’m not cute though_

_joongie98: everyone has a cute side…pleaseeeee☹☹☹_

Mars didn’t immediately respond like he has been making Hongjoong excited to think that he was taking a selfie for him.

_mars.psh: i’m not cute_

But the [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c4/91/21/c49121131876bc83fcba77e18be039c7.jpg) he sent told him otherwise. He was pouting at the camera with a filter on it. Hongjoong saved that one, of course.

_joongie98: you are tho!!!!! cutecutecutectutecutecute  
joongie98: why do you have clothes on ☹☹_

_mars.psh: i have work in a bit_

_joongie98: naughty mars!!! you send me a video like that right before work…_

_mars.psh: i thought you liked it_

_joongie98: of course i did. i told you i got off on it._

_mars.psh: what does that mean?_

_joongie98:…do you want me to show you??_

Hongjoong bit his lip as he stared at his messy stomach. Would _that_ actually be too far?

_mars.psh: im on the train…should i hide my phone when you send it?_

Hongjoong’s jaw dropped just slightly as he scoffed a laugh. Mars knows what he means…or at least has an idea. Is he teasing him right now???

_joongie98: my photos are only for you_

Hongjoong waited a few seconds before Mars started typing.

_mars.psh: show me what’s mine_

HOT. That was hot. Hongjoong could definitely get hard again. But he didn’t…yet. He quickly took a photo of his own cum drying on his tummy. He made sure to put a hand over his dick so it wouldn’t show though there was a little bit of the base peeking through the cracks of his fingers. Before he could overthink it, he sent it and went to clean himself up.

When he got back, Mars had sent him three messages, one being an image. Hongjoong excitedly opened them.

 _mars.psh: fuck_  
That already got Hongjoong’s attention. Mars hasn’t cursed since they started talking.

 _mars.psh: look what you made me do_  
He sent him another crotch shot, but this time, he was obviously hard and gripping himself at the base through his slacks to show off the shape of his dick more. Hongjoong licked his lips and saved the photo before messaging back.

_joongie98: i just cleaned myself up. don’t make me messy again xxx_

_mars.psh: what should i do with this then?_

He sent him a video this time. Hongjoong could hear the chatter of people around him and it made it even hotter than amongst those people, Mars was rubbing himself through his slacks.

_mars.psh: naughty boy, mars_

Mars didn’t respond for a while after that. Hongjoong managed to get himself off another time before showering and forcing himself to wear clothes to keep himself calmed down. He checked his phone and still no response. Hongjoong pouted but went on about his day.

At one point, his phone vibrates but it was Jongho asking to hang out. Hongjoong sighed but asked him to come over while he paints.

“All you got is ramen, bro.” Jongho said as he looked through Hongjoong’s cabinets.

“I’m only one person. I don’t like cooking for just myself.” Hongjoong said a little distracted as he kneeled on top of the unpainted part of his large painting as he drew a solid black line with his paint brush at the top.

“I’ll cook then. What do you have in here?” Hongjoong didn’t respond as Jongho opened his fridge.

“I can make some chicken and rice. Is that okay?” Silence.

“Joong.” Silence.

“Yo, Kim. Chicken and rice. Good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hongjoong stuck the tip of his tongue out as he concentrated on getting this line straight enough.

A few minutes later, when Jongho had the chicken defrosting in hot water and the rice cooker was going, Hongjoong got discord messages. He cursed as a few dots of black paint splattered on his panting when he dropped the brush in the cup of water to quickly check his phone. It’s fine. It was fine. He can work with it.

_mars.psh: a child saw me  
mars.psh: joongie, a child. saw. me.  
mars.psh: i want to die_

Hongjoong cracked up. He felt bad but oh, my god. Hongjoong would pay to see how Mars reacted when that child saw him.

_joongie98: oh no marsssss!!!!!😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂_

_mars.psh: don’t laugh at me ☹_

Hongjoong, being a little brat, sent him a short clip of him cracking up.

_mars.psh: i would say your laugh is beautiful but you’re laughing at my embarrassment and that’s mean_

That didn’t help Hongjoong with his giggle fit that Jongho’s been asking him what it was over.

“What the hell are you laughing so much for?” Jongho asked him. Hongjoong was too busy typing to see that Jongho was peeking over his shoulder.

“Who’s Mars?” Hongjoong squeaked and hid his phone in his chest and looked over his shoulder.

“N-no one. Look away!” Jongho raised his eyebrows and went back to the kitchen. He saw the freeze frame of that video…he wasn’t going to say anything until Hongjoong does first though.

_joongie98: i’m sorry baby. let me make it up to you 😉_

_mars.psh: i refuse to get hard until i am home_

Hongjoong giggled and decided to change the subject a little bit. He took a photo of the black water splatter on his painting.

_joongie98: look what you made me do!!!_

_mars.psh: you can make it good. everything you do is amazing_

Hongjoong rolled his eyes though he was trying not to smile too giddily.

_joongie98: you’re so charming. aren’t you supposed to be at work????_

_mars.psh: i am_

He sent him a [picture](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/64/a3/7c/64a37c55dbd8169875b1fa70a8dc4d9c.jpg) in front of a giant mirror with a few clothing racks behind him.

_mars.psh: i work at a clothing store_

It looked like a nice clothing store. Not like a Marshall’s or anything. Mars was dressed pretty casual though yet he still looked stylish.

_joongie98: naughty boy, should you be on your phone???_

_mars.psh: i didn’t want you to think i stopped responding for another reason  
mars.psh: it was because of a child_

That triggered another giggle attack for Hongjoong.

_joongie98: text me when you’re home and i’ll make it up to you…_

_mars.psh: i get off at 6  
mars.psh: can you wait that long?_

_joongie98: can you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: very suggestive content, sexual content. what's new**
> 
> Jongho finally made an appearance!!!!for two seconds!!! like i said all of them would!!!
> 
> i'm in a hurry to dye someone's hair. gotta scoot. 
> 
> love you MWUAH


	6. park seonghwa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,539  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> If you're early and translations/photo references are not up yet, pls give me time to get them done <3

It was 7pm and he didn’t know how to tell Jongho to kindly fuck off. His phone buzzed as Mars asked him yet again if he’s alone.

_mars.psh: how about now?_

_joongie98: mars i s2g. i will tell you when i’m alone_

_mars.psh: i’m alone_

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. that’s great. But he isn’t and he can’t exactly take nudes when Jongho is yelling at the TV as he gets shot in GTA online. 

_joongie98: that’s great baby go get showered and wait for me_

_mars.psh: already in the shower_

Okay, how dare he send him an image of that though. He tilted his head to the side to show off a lot more of his neck and collarbone and although the image cut off right after his belly button, Hongjoong could tell he had his hand on his dick. Whether he was covering it just in case or pleasuring himself he didn’t know and he could not afford to think about it right now.

Instead, he decided to mess with him for trying to mess with him first.

_joongie98: you know…i have a hot guy over right now. you’re getting me in the mood but you’re not here…i might just have to settle for him instead_

Hongjoong cringed a little bit as he took a silent photo of Jongho. His muscles were on full display in a tank top and Hongjoong wasn’t blind. He was attractive. But he was also painfully straight and Hongjoong could never see him in a sexual way ever. So sending that image with that comment pained him but the reaction he got out of Mars made it slightly worth it.

_mars.psh: don’t you dare  
mars.psh: i swear i’ll drive 4 hours to get there right now  
mars.psh: i’ll steal my friend’s car  
mars.psh: isn’t that jongho?_

Hongjoong’s jaw dropped. How did he recognize him? Did he follow him too?

_joongie98: yeah it is…so??_

_mars.psh:…you wouldn’t do anything with him right?..._

Damn it, now Hongjoong felt bad.

_joongie98: not if you don’t want me to_

_mars.psh: i have no control over you  
mars.psh: you can do whatever you want_

_joongie98: then get over here_

_mars.psh: i need more money joongie_

_joongie98: what’s your paypal?_

_mars.psh: no._

_joongie98: cash app?_

_mars.psh: joongie, no._

_joongie98: venmo?_

_mars.psh: 홍중아 그만 해줄래…_

Hongjoong frowned. That was the first time he’s said his full name and even wrote it in hangul. Hongjoong didn’t like that.

_joongie98: 미안해…just really want to see you…_

_mars.psh: i said i was coming in october. if i make enough money before then, i’ll come earlier. but you are not sending me money. i won’t take it. 이해했니?_

_joongie98: 네…_

Hongjoong set his phone down just as Jongho laughed and pointed at the TV.

“Did you just see that fucking car? It flipped the fuck over, bro! They be wildin’ out here. Oh, fucker! He shot me with a grenade launcher! You see that?” Hongjoong faked a laugh and shook his head. 

“Can I play next?” He’s asking as if it wasn’t his own game in his own PS4 in his own apartment with his own account.

“Yeah, yeah, let me just get this fucker back.” Hongjoong felt his phone buzz under his leg but he didn’t want to check it. He wasn’t mad at Mars, not at all. He was just sad. A little sad. And angry with himself. He pushed it too far this time and made Mars upset with him. 

“Okay, here. BlueIce is killing everyone for no reason so be careful with him.” Jongho handed him the controller and he took it and sat just a bit closer to him and began playing until he lost track of time.

It was 9pm when Jongho stood up and said he should get going.

“Yeah, can’t oversleep when you gotta hit the gym at like 6 in the morning.” Hongjoong messed with him as he walked him to the door.

“Listen, man, working out is such a stress reliever and after BlueIce and Purple-whatever-the-hell-his-name-was kept killing me for no fucking reason, I need to punch something.” Hongjoong giggled and patted his shoulder.

“All right, then, killer. Don’t oversleep and miss your workout. Go. Text me when you get home.”

“I will. See you, Joong. Don’t stay up too late.” 

“All right,” he says though they both know he didn’t really mean it. Now, he had nothing to distract him from checking his phone. He didn’t know if he was only slightly disappointed to see that in the 2 hours that he didn’t check it, Mars only sent him 3 texts.

_mars.psh: it would be too much since we don’t know each other well  
mars.psh: sorry i spoke to you like that. will you text back?  
mars.psh: 나 화 안났어. 진짜로…나한테 화났어??_

The last one was sent over an hour ago. Hongjoong bit his lip and began typing.

_joongie98: i’m not mad…i upset you though. i’m sorry. i wasn’t trying to be obnoxious or anything…i should be patient._

_mars.psh: hongjoongie, it’s okay. i thought you got upset with me because of the way i spoke to you…_

_joongie98: no! be mad at me. that’s okay. i was being pushy. i deserved that. i just got upset with myself_

_mars.psh: ☹  
mars.psh: are you still upset?_

_joongie98: a little_

_mars.psh: why don’t you get comfortable then? we don’t have to do anything but talk tonight  
mars.psh: wrap that blanket around you and get in bed_

Hongjoong smiled softly and went in his room and grabbed the blanket where he stuffed in in the basket next to the mirror. He dropped it on his bed and took his clothes off. He wanted to feel the soft fabric against his skin. He wrapped himself up before texting.

_joongie98: i am wrapped and in bed_

_mars.psh: good. are you laying down?_

_joongie98: now i am._

_mars.psh: okay. how was your day?_

Hongjoong bit his lip to hold back a grin. No one he’s ever had an interest in has asked him about his day. To be fair, he didn’t ask them either.

_joongie98: it was fine! i painted a little bit and Jongho came over. He just left. how was your day? How was work??_

_mars.psh: can i see the painting??  
mars.psh: and it was fine. except for that child_

Hongjoong giggled as he remembered that

_mars.psh: it’s going to bother me forever_

_joongie98: baby!!! 😂😂 it’s okay! they’ll forget about it i’m sure. they probably didn’t even understand what you were doing_

_mars.psh: he looked me right in the eye, joongie  
mars.psh: i lost the mood completely_

Hongjoong snickered a little too hard at that. 

_joongie98: i would sure hope you did…_

_mars.psh: 응…can i see your painting?_

_joongie98: i didn’t get to finish it…_

_mars.psh: promise you’ll show me first when it’s done?_

_joongie98: i promise mars_

_mars.psh: okay…good…by the way joongie…you know mars is only my english name?_

_joongie98: i figured it was…what’s your korean name??_

_mars.psh: seonghwa_

_joongie98: ah your initials p s h. park seonghwa?_

_mars.psh: 네_

_joongie98: why’d you choose the name mars as your english name??_

_mars.psh: if you switch the letters of my korean name it’s 화성 which means Mars_

_joongie98: genius. mind blown. so do you want me to keep calling you mars or seonghwa??_

_mars.psh: i want to hear you say my korean name…_

Hongjoong blushed just a little bit but opened his camera app anyways and swiped to record.

He filmed pretty close to his face, not really wanting to show his naked torso this time.

“Park…Seong…hwa. Eek! My accent is so terrible!” Hongjoong giggled and ended the video. He spent a few seconds cringing at himself before watching it over. He cringed again but sent it before he could talk himself out of it. He hid his face with his blanket as he waited for Mars’…Seonghwa’s response. 

_mars.psh: that was so cute! you didn’t sound that bad really…what’s your last name?_

_joongie98: kim_

Wait, is Seonghwa going to record a video of him saying his name too? Wait, Hongjoong isn’t fully prepared to hear him talk just yet. Wait, he’s not ready. His phone buzzed and he checked it. He screeched when he saw it was a video. He took a few deep breaths, being the ever so dramatic self he is before pressing play and making sure the volume was high enough.

It wasn’t high enough. Nothing was high enough because Park ‘Mars’ Seonghwa had such a soft, deep voice that Hongjoong felt like he needed the entire world to shut up so he could hear him with no other noise whatsoever.

“Kim Hongjoong, Hongjoong Kim. Hongjoongie, Hongjoong-ah, Kim,” Seonghwa giggled. He giggled. “Kim Hongjoong.” Seonghwa spoke in an obviously perfect accent, pouting his lips as he spoke. Wow. It was almost weird hearing his Korean name be spoken…in true Korean. 

Hongjoong wanted more. He wanted to call him. Hell, he could call him. 

_joongie98: how is even your voice perfect? is nothing about you off putting?? you have a gorgeous body, gorgeous tattoos, a gorgeous face, and now a sweet soft voice??? can i call you??? can you talk me to sleep???_

mars.psh: joongiee 🙈🙈

He used an emoji!!! Who is he??

_mars.psh: honestly, i don’t like my accent when i speak english…_

_joongie98: i told you you can speak to me in korean and i’ll speak to you in english…but if you don’t want to talk with me like that yet, that’s fine. i said i’d be patient_

Mars didn’t respond for a while and Hongjoong almost thought he was trying to figure out a way to reject him but then, the screen changed, and his phone buzzed as it showed him that _mars.psh_ was requesting a Voice Call via Discord.

Hongjoong took a deep breath. This was big. This wasn’t just a video. This was _live_ , he would be talking and hearing Seonghwa talking in real time.

“Hello?” He answered the call as if he didn’t know who was on the other line.

“Hi,” Hongjoong felt butterflies and it was just one word. But he could tell that it sounded a little nervous and unsure of himself. 

“Mars! Wait, Seonghwa…” Hongjoong spoke his Korean name softly, still not proud of his pronunciation. 

“Either is fine.” Seonghwa spoke very softly almost like he didn’t want to wake someone up. 

“I like your Korean name but I might need to practice saying it. Can you say it for me?”

“Seonghwa.” 

“Seonghwa.” He heard Seonghwa huff out a little chuckle over the phone.

“그치, 그치. Seonghwa.”

“Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa.” Hongjoong smiled as he spoke his name better this time.

“Yeah…” Seonghwa chuckled nervously all of a sudden. _”Sorry, I feel awkward speaking in English right now._ ” He said in Korean. Luckily, Hongjoong was able to understand it.

“Why? Don’t you speak in English every day?”

“Yes, but, I’m nervous to speak to you.” Hongjoong was able to hear his accent and it honestly made Hongjoong fall for him just a little bit more.

“Don’t be! I like your accent. It’s really cute.”

“Noo,” Seonghwa chuckled softly and wow. Is he really this giggly all the time? He wishes to see his smile more often. He’d have to replay that video to see him laugh while saying his name. “It’s bad.”

“You know, what’s bad? My Korean accent.”

“No, it’s not! It’s cute.”

“You see? If you can say my Korean accent is cute, then I can say your English accent is cute.” Seonghwa sighed in defeat.

“Fine. You win.” Hongjoong cheered a small ‘yay’ which Seonghwa chuckled to. Again.

“Park Seonghwa, you laugh a lot yet this was the first time I’ve seen you truly smile. That’s a crime in my books.”

“I laugh a lot, really. But it’s not part of my…I can’t say that word,” Seonghwa chuckled.

“Aesthetic?” Hongjoong was already grinning too big for his face to handle. He wanted to hear him talk all the time. 

“Yeah, that one.”

“I don’t like your aesthetic anymore, Park Seonghwa.” 

“Why not?” He could hear the pout in his voice.

“Because I want to see your smile and your face and your legs but you never show it because of your stupid aesthetic.” Hongjoong laughed to let him know that he wasn’t really too salty about it.

_”Wouldn’t it be fun if only you get to see that?”_

“But you never show me it anyways,” Hongjoong pouted.

_”I’ll show it to you more, then.”_

“You better.”

“I will. Will.” Seonghwa sighed after he tried saying the word slower. “I can’t say that word either. Willlll.” Hongjoong giggled.

“I understand you perfectly well, anyways.” 

“I’ve gotten better, though.” He admitted softly. “I couldn’t barely even say my English name before.” Hongjoong hummed.

“Say it now.”

“Mars.” There was a tiny accent in it still but it made Hongjoong smile.

“Perfect.”

“Not really.”

“It’s perfect, Mars. I could listen to you talk all night.” Hongjoong got more comfortable in his bed and closed his eyes, a small smile still playing on his face. If he imagined well enough, he could imagine Seonghwa next to him, speaking to him in person.

“I could listen to you too.” Seonghwa admitted softly, getting comfortable as well, even turning off the lamp on his night table, Hongjoong guess. He heard the little click.

“Speak to me, Seonghwa,”

“English or Korean?”

“Whichever you want.”

_”I’ll speak in Korean for now. What do you me to tell you?”_

“Mm…tell me about Korea.” 

_”Ahh,…sometimes I miss it. I miss leaving my house and there being a store right there that I could walk to and get food. Here, I have to get a taxi to go anywhere.”_

“Mm, here you can walk. It’s better to walk even. Too much traffic.” Hongjoong was getting sleepy but he tried desperately to stay in the conversation.

_”Yeah, I liked it there. I should’ve moved there to begin with.”_

“Did you move on your own or with family?”

 _”I moved here on my own but I moved in with family friends._ ”

 _”Ah, that’s scary.”_ Hongjoong barely realized he spoke in Korean but Seonghwa didn’t comment on it other than the sound of a smile on his face when he spoke next.

 _”Yeah, it was. But that was a year ago. I’ve settled in well. I live on my own now.”_ Hongjoong just hummed in response, too tired all of a sudden to respond.

 _”Hongjoongie, you want to sleep?”_ No response. _”Go to sleep, Joongie. I’ll hang up now.”_

“Mn! No, stay with me,” Hongjoong whined sleepily. “Talk me to sleep, baby,” Seonghwa chuckled again.

_”Baby,…why do you like calling me baby?”_

“I’ve been wanting to call someone that for a while…”

“Mm…so only me?”

“Only you, Mars. I’ve said this before. Only you.”

“Ah, okay. Only you, too, Hongjoong-ah.”

“Call me Joongie,”

“Can I call you baby?” Hongjoong smiled and made a shy noise. Seonghwa chuckled warmly. “Can I, baby?” 

“Not all the time, yet or I’ll lose my mind.”

“Okay, okay. Just a little bit.”

“Yeah, just a little.”

_”So, before I moved, I lived in this town called Jinju…”_

Hongjoong listened to him talk until he fell asleep. He would find that in the morning, the call still hadn’t ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww, the babies had their first little 'argument'
> 
> just needed a soft break from the sexual tension
> 
> translations (i'm sorry there are so many. i won't have this many to translate ever againndfsdfsio):  
> 1\. 홍중아 그만 해줄래…(Hongjoong-ah geuman haejullae...): hongjoong-ah can you please stop...  
> 2\. 미안해 (mianhae): i'm sorry  
> 3\. 네 (ne): okay  
> 4\. 나 화 안났어. 진짜로…나한테 화났어?? (na hwa annasseo. jinjjaro...nahante hwanasseo??): I'm not mad. Seriously...Are you mad at me??  
> 5\. 응 (eung): yeah/sound of confirmation/acknowledgement  
> 6\. 화성 (hwaseong): mars  
> 7\. 그치, 그치 (geuchi, geuchi): that's right/correct


	7. joongie's ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,917  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: if you'd like to know the warnings, pls refer to the end notes***  
> *  
> *  
> *

Before Hongjoong could even blink, a month and a half has passed. The halfway point to when he’d finally get to meet Seonghwa in person.

Almost every night, they’d talk over the phone, Seonghwa growing more comfortable speaking in random English but he was also comfortable speaking in Korean knowing that for the most part, Hongjoong would understand him. 

“It’s like…red and then it fades to a yellow. Like a sunset but not a sunset, you said.”

“A sunset but not a sunset,” Seonghwa was trying to remind Hongjoong of this one painting he posted on his story but then deleted and got rid of the painting because he didn’t like it anymore.

“Yeah. It was just the background and you said it was a work in progress.” 

“…Oh! Yeah, I just wasn’t feeling that one. I messed up on the color scheme and I just couldn’t save it.” Hongjoong shrugged. He walked out of his room and into the kitchen, leaving the phone on speaker on his counter so he could make himself some ramen.

“I liked those colors. They looked nice.” 

“Mmn.” Hongjoong grabbed a pot and set it on the stove and went to fill up a measuring cup with the right amount of water.

“뭐 해?” Seonghwa asked him in a light tone that Hongjoong’s grown to love so much.

“Making some ramen,”

_”Ah, I’d like some right now.”_

“Make your own.” 

_”I already ate though. My cheeks are getting too chubby for that.”_

“I don’t agree. The chubbier the cheeks, the better.” Seonghwa huffed a small laugh and shuffled around. Hongjoong heard the shuffling and wondered if he was in bed right now or on his couch or on the floor. Man he didn’t know.

“Hey, Mars?”

“Mn?”

“How do you feel about video calling me?”

“…right now?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong shrugged to himself.

_”Right now I’m a little naked.”_

“Even better. So am I.” Hongjoong looked down at his socked feet, the only part of himself that was covered.

“Ah, Hongjoongie… _you’ll be the death of me.”_

“Is that a yes?” Hongjoong smirked. Seonghwa responded by ending the call. Hongjoong frowned until a request for a video call came in, then he was grinning and accepting it. He got shy suddenly when he realized the phone was at the perfect height on the counter to show his full crotch. He quickly hid himself before Seonghwa could see though.

 _“You’re really naked?”_ Seonghwa asked him surprised and looked away, trying to hide the smile on his face.

“I told you! You said you were too!”

“I have underwear though.”

“That’s not being naked. If you’re gonna bully me then hang up!”

“I won’t! But…I mean, can I look?” Seonghwa put a hand over his eyes yet still peeked through his fingers.

“I’m gonna go put something on. I’ll be back.” Hongjoong quickly ran to his room to put on a hoodie, not really in the mood to have boxers on right now. He slid back into the kitchen just in time to see the water boiling. He quickly made the broth before adding in the noodles and letting it soften. 

“Okay, so. Mars.”

“Yes?”

“When you come here, where are you going to stay?” He said as he took his chopsticks to separate the noodles as they softened.

“My friend’s place.”

“Ah, he got extra room?” Hongjoong spoke mindlessly.

“Yeah. _Well, I sleep on the couch but it turns into a bed.”_

“You know, I don’t have an extra bed but I don’t mind you sleeping with me.” Hongjoong smirked at his phone and Seonghwa laughed and rolled his eyes.

 _”I might eventually take you up on that. Him and his boyfriend don’t really care if I’m there which means I hear way too much.”_ Hongjoong giggled.

“I live alone so we can be as loud as we want.” Hongjoong smirked again before turning to get an egg from his fridge. 

_”Hongjoong-ah, you’re still naked.”_ Hongjoong squeaked and stood up straight again and turned around with reddening cheeks.

“I forgot about that. Hey, listen! I don’t like wearing underwear.” Hongjoong pouted as Seonghwa laughed at him. Wow, his smile is unreal.

_”That’s okay. I like your butt a lot anyways.”_

“Would you like to see it again?” Hongjoong said, pushing back his shyness. He set the egg down and turned around and lifted the hoodie to rest above his ass.

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa’s tone changed drastically and Hongjoong looked over his shoulder to see him staring at his phone, staring at Hongjoong. Hongjoong giggled and shook his hips before letting the hoodie fall back down.

“It’s not _that_ great.” Then he went back to his ramen that was practically done at this point. “I bet yours is better.” Hongjoong smirked.

_”Wouldn’t you like to know?”_

“I would actually. Can you show me?” Hongjoong moved the pot out of the burner then picked up his phone to pay attention in case Seonghwa actually granted him that wish.

“N-no.” Seonghwa got shy. Hongjoong found it so fucking cute when he got shy. It happened a lot more than what he’d expect but when he got shy, his nose, his cheeks, his ears, and his neck and chest would get red. It was so cute. 

“That’s okay. I’ll see it when you get here.” Hongjoong winked and took out a bowl with one hand to attempt to pour the ramen into with his other hand still occupied with the phone.

“What makes you so sure I’ll let you see it?” 

“Once I get you in bed, you’re not allowed to get dressed, baby.” 

_”Fuck, don’t speak like that.”_ Hongjoong watched as Seonghwa’s hand dipped down below his blankets. He even panned the camera to show that he was touching himself underneath the blanket that covered his hips.

“Why? Does it get you off?” Hongjoong left the pot in the sink and walked over to his couch. 

“Mm.”

He set the phone down on the coffee table and laid down on the couch so he was in frame. He moved the phone a little more so he could touch himself but Seonghwa couldn’t really see it.

Hongjoong watched the blanket move as Seonghwa touch himself. Hongjoong looked at himself in the tiny screen as he lifted his hoodie to make sure he wasn’t showing anything and he wasn’t, he’d just have to be careful with not laying his dick over his stomach or else the tip of it would show. 

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong used a soft, breathy tone as he said his name.

“Hmm?”

“When you get here, will you fuck me?” 

_“I’ll do anything you want me to do to you.”_ Hongjoong bit his lip as he wrapped a hand around his half hard dick. He moved his body down a little to get his hips off frame enough before he continued. His other hand went up his stomach and chest, lifting his hoodie up.

By this point, Seonghwa was jerking himself off too. Very slowly, teasing Hongjoong with the idea that he would show himself whenever his hand went all the way up to the tip but it was so dark in Seonghwa’s room save for a little bit of sunlight peaking through his blinds so he couldn’t quite see anything.

“Fuck, Seonghwa, the things you do to me. And you haven’t even touched me yet.” Hongjoong breathed out, his eyelids blinking shut when he’d squeeze his tip just a little tighter.

“I will soon, baby.” Hongjoong moaned softly and opened his eyes. Seonghwa had pulled the blankets down to show his hard dick under his loose boxers. Hongjoong watched as he jerked himself the same way he did in the train but this was so much hotter. This time, it was in the privacy of his room and video calling Hongjoong so there were no interruptions, nothing to stop either of them from coming at the sight of the other pleasuring themselves.

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong whined as he flicked his own nipple.

“Joongie,”

“Stick your hand down your boxers. Touch yourself for me.” Seonghwa did just that. Maybe Hongjoong couldn’t see much of his face at this point, just his chin but it was still hot. At one point, Hongjoong lost his mind when the very base of Seonghwa’s dick showed, giving Hongjoong a glance of his grooming skills. They were on point. Thank God. 

Seonghwa saw how Hongjoong reacted to his little mistake and then kept doing it on purpose. Hongjoong moaned and carefully moved to stand on his knees on the couch, his back to the camera and his dick to the back of the couch. He took off his hoodie and put it in front of him so when he came, he wouldn’t dirty the couch.

He looked over his shoulder and stuck his ass out just a little before continuing to jerk himself off. Seonghwa let out a small moan and Hongjoong had to moan from that alone too.

“Fuck, Seonghwa, you’re so hot.” Hongjoong turned a little to the side to stick his ass out some more without showing him too much. By this point, he was leaning on the back of the couch, still looking back at the phone. 

_”Baby, I’m gonna come.”_ Hongjoong watched as he licked his lips. The tip of his dick was pressing up against his boxers and gave Hongjoong quite a sight when he finally came. His cum slipped through the fabric and pooled on top of his boxers. Hongjoong wanted to suck on it so badly. A few seconds later, Hongjoong was coming on his hoodie, thankful that he didn’t miss. 

Fuck, they’ve never done that before. Why haven’t they, though? That was so hot.

“Joongie, turn around.” Hongjoong did so carefully, keeping the dirty hoodie over his crotch. He laid down on his side and watched as Seonghwa panned the camera to show the mess he made. His fingers dipped into the small pool of cum on his boxers and swirled it around slightly. Hongjoong bit his lip and moved his hips just a little. He couldn’t quite get hard again just yet but give him a few minutes, and he’ll surely get up there.

“Mars, don’t you dare make me hard again.” He heard Seonghwa chuckle before finally moving the camera back up to his face. Hongjoong was too lazy to grab his phone from the table and let it show him moving to lay on his stomach.

“Joongie-yah, get dressed. You’re gonna get cold.” 

“I don’t wanna,” Hongjoong whined. Seonghwa chuckled again and sat up.

“I’m gonna clean up, okay? I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“Okay,”

“You clean up, too, baby.” Seonghwa said much softer this time.

“I will.”

“And put some pants on too.”

“But you like my ass.” Hongjoong lifted his hips enough to accentuate the little curve of his ass.

“Exactly. So cover it up or you’ll get me hard again.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Hongjoong giggled. Seonghwa shook his head but smiled fondly anyways.

“I’ll be back, baby.”

“Okay, babe.” He waved with the tips of his fingers before the call ended. Hongjoong took a deep breath before the giddiness really hit him and he was squealing with joy. Did that really happen? Holy shit. Holy shit. He saw the base of his dick. He grooms himself well! What a man. Hongjoong wanted him in person so bad, he didn’t think he could wait another month and a half. But he’ll be patient. He promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TW: mutual masturbation, phone sex, hongjoong's ass cheeks, seonghwa's pubes lmao idk homie. it sexual and shit***
> 
> Translations:  
> 1\. 뭐 해? (mwo hae?): what are you doing?
> 
> it gettin steamy up in here folks oof im not sorry
> 
> love you MWUAH


	8. sleppy boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,353  
> twitter: skz_jpeg

“Hongjoong, can you set your phone down for two fucking minutes. You’re supposed to be hanging out with us,” Hongjoong immediately put his phone in his pocket as soon as he heard Wooyoung’s annoyed tone. He’ll admit he’s been a little too invested in texting Seonghwa about the dream he had last night but he shouldn’t be so invested after talking about it for 30 minutes in the 30 minutes that he’s been with his friends.

“Sorry, you’re right. I won’t be on it as much anymore.” Wooyoung sighed and turned back around. They were walking towards the park to find a place to sit, eat, and play like they do every month. 

“Who are you texting so much?” San slowed his pace to walk next to Hongjoong to ask him. He didn’t appear as annoyed as Wooyoung who was being calmed down by Yeosang rubbing his back and taking his hand.

“N-no one.” San gave him a look. “Okay, fine. I met someone…on Instagram and we just hit it off.”

“On Instagram? Are they reliable?”

“I think he is. No, I know he is. Sanie, he’s so sweet and hot and cute and soft. And! He’s Korean. Like from Korea. Like he has an accent and speaks to me in Korean, bro. I could die.” Hongjoong said overdramatically while San chuckled.

“Bro, you can’t even speak Korean. My mom asked you the other day if you could peel the potatoes by hand then leave it in water and you had to ask me what she said.”

“I knew what she said! Mostly. I just didn’t know the word ‘peel,’ okay? Don’t bully me.” Hongjoong pouted and pushed his shoulder.

“Anyways, he has tattoos and piercings and a gorgeous smile. It’s brighter than my future, San.”

“Okay and how old is he?” 

“22. I didn’t ask him what year though or if he’s 22 in Korea but internationally he’s…? I don’t know. It hasn’t come up yet. We’ve only known each other for like 2 months. It hasn’t been that long.” Hongjoong shrugged. San sighed and put an arm around his shoulders.

“Just be careful, Joong. People on the internet can be ugly on the inside but on the outside, they should their best face.”

“How…proverbial of you.”

“Thanks. Don’t know what that is. Hey, how about over there?” San pointed to a spot in the distance. Dead center in the sun but that was okay because they brought huge umbrellas that will stand over them.

“Ah, yeah. Over here, guys, come on.” Yunho led them to the spot and they worked together to set up their space. It was a Thursday so not many people were there so they had the majority of the field to kick around a ball. 

“Yunho, you and me?” Jongho motioned between them and the ball in his hands.

“Yeah, let’s get it!” They jogged off in the field in opposite directions while Hongjoong and San set up the food.

“Did someone bring the gummies?” Wooyoung asked for Yeosang. 

“Sour or regular?” Hongjoong asked, looking at the right bag for them. Wooyoung turned to Yeosang for his answer.

“Sour.” Yeosang grinned and Hongjoong passed it over to him. Sour Patch Kids.

“What do we have to drink?” Mingi asked.

“Well, since we’re not driving, we got some bubbly, a few beers, Coke, and Sprite.” San said after opening the cooler they brought. They’ve done this a lot. They know what to bring to make their day more fun and relaxing.

“I’ll save the bubbly for later. Give me Coke please.”

Hongjoong felt his phone buzzing and he resisted the urge to take it out immediately. He bit his lip and peeked over at Wooyoung who smiled at Yeosang and pecked his cheek. He’s distracted. He has to be quick.

Hongjoong took it out and read the messages.

_mars.psh: maybe you’re stressed  
mars.psh: have you been sleeping well lately?_

Hongjoong smiled.

_joongie98: define well. my sleeping patterns have never been the best_

Hongjoong put his phone away without looking to see if Wooyoung saw him. When it buzzed again a few seconds later, Hongjoong resisted checking it immediately again. 

“Joong! Come play with us!” Jongho asked him.

“Who does he think I am? I’ll sweat.” Hongjoong said as he stood up and walked over to him anyways. 

“Just for a little bit, okay?” Jongho smirked and nodded.

“Okay, no problem.”

Hongjoong ended up playing for an hour, yelling at Yeosang, his other teammate, to pass the ball to him, yelling at Yunho for being too tall and blocking him, yelling at Jongho for pushing him too hard when Hongjoong tried to steal the ball from him. It was fun times but now his skin was hot and damp and his hair was a mess and now was the time that San took to take photos of them all.

“I literally look like I’ve been through the washing machine. Do not take photos of me.” Hongjoong said and blocked his face with his hands when San pointed the camera at him.

“Okay!” San said. “I took a video anyways.” He smirked evilly. Before Hongjoong could do anything, the video was up on San’s insta story. He prayed Seonghwa didn’t follow San.

Once he was laying down on the grass under one of the three huge umbrellas surrounding them, he took out his phone and saw the messages Seonghwa sent him an hour ago.

_mars.psh: do i keep you awake at night? don’t let me. you should sleep well  
mars.psh: we’re always calling and talking so late. what if we do it earlier tonight?  
mars.psh: are you busy right now?_

Oh, how badly Hongjoong wanted to call him right now.

_joongie98: i’m with the boys right now at the park. we’re having a bonding day. i wanted to call you later tonight when i got home ☹_

Hongjoong set his phone down on his chest and closed his eyes. 

He basked in the breeze that he was now feeling and the sound of his boys laughing and talking. He felt Mingi lay down and rest his head on his thigh, not something unusual at all. He checked his phone once he it buzzed.

_mars.psh: you’re going to be so tired later  
mars.psh: i’ll call you in the morning. you should sleep better tonight_

Hongjoong pouted.

_joongie98: i like falling asleep to your voice though ☹☹_

_mars.psh: me too but losing sleep over it isn’t good_

_joongie98: i won’t lose sleep ☹ i’ll sleep in tomorrow. how about that??? pls call me tonight ☹☹_

_mars.psh: joongie…너 때문에 미치겠다…_

_joongie98: good…cause you drive me crazy too <3 _

Hongjoong ended up getting home at 11pm. It wasn’t that late of a night but they also have been hanging out since 1 pm so he was dead tired but he wanted to hear Seonghwa’s voice still. He called him before he even took off his shoes properly.

“Joongie,” 

“Is it too late for you? Were you sleeping already?” Hongjoong asked him.

“No, I just got in bed. Did you just get home?”

“Mhm.” He walked to his room with his eyes shut.

“Did you have fun?”

“So much fun. And a sunburn.” He said once he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and saw his nose and cheeks looking really red.

“Joongie, nooo. You should have put sunblock.”

“We all make mistakes, Mars.” Seonghwa chuckled, making Hongjoong smile. “I’m gonna shower. Stay on the line with me.” Hongjoong put the call on speaker and set his phone down to start taking off his clothes.

“Mm. Wanna video call?” Hongjoong was silent and paused for a moment. “And not do anything naughty. Just wanna see you.” Seonghwa admitted with an amused tone in his voice.

“I might flash you since I’m too tired right now to be careful.”

“What does that mean?”

“I might accidentally show you my dick ‘cause I won’t be paying much attention if you could see it.”

 _“Ah. Well, I promise to keep that to myself then.”_ Hongjoong bit back his smile and ended the call to video call him.

“Hey,” He said once he saw Seonghwa sitting in his bed with his hood up.

“Hi. Go shower. I just want to make sure you don’t like pass out or something.” Hongjoong smiled.

“You’re sweet. I’m sorry if I flash you.” Hongjoong said as he took the phone with him to turn the shower on. He raised the volume to hear what he said next.

“It’s okay. Like you said, I’ll eventually see it anyways, right?” Hongjoong glared at him playfully as he laughed.

“That’s my bit. I’m supposed to say that.” He checked the water and waited a few more seconds to get in.

“It’s my turn.” 

Hongjoong got in the shower and carefully placed his phone on the metal container he had hung to place his soaps. 

“Wait, you’ll totally see my dick. I’m not even in the water yet. If I move back, you’ll see it.” Hongjoong pointed out.

“I promise not to stare. Or you can turn around.”

“But then I can’t see you.” Hongjoong pouted. Seonghwa chuckled.

“Do you want to hang up then?” Hongjoong sighed. 

“Promise not to stare.” Something in Seonghwa’s eyes turned more sincere.

“I won’t, baby. I promise. I’ll cover you with my hand.” Seonghwa showed him his hand then placed it across the bottom so when Hongjoong would move back, his hand would be covering his lower half.

“I’m trusting you. I don’t want the first time you seeing my dick to be like this.” Hongjoong joked but he was being a little serious. He slowly moved back and processed Seonghwa’s face to see if his reaction would give away that he actually was looking.

“I can’t see it anyways. _I won’t break your trust like that.”_

“Mn. _You better not.”_ Seonghwa loved it when he spoke in Korean. His accent was still evident but it made him smile.

_”You’ve gotten better. At Korean, I mean.”_

“Not at all. My friend San made fun of me today for my lack of Korean speaking skills.” 

“Yeah, I follow him on Instagram as well.” Hongjoong froze.

“Did you look at his story?” 

“No, why?” 

“Oh, no reason.” Hongjoong quickly put shampoo in his hair and washed it as fast as he could.

 _”You’re being suspicious. What don’t you want me to see?”_ Seonghwa asked him with a smile on his face.

“I looked really bad after playing ball. Like really bad. I was sweaty and yucky and he took a video of me and posted it. I haven’t even looked at it. I don’t wanna.” Hongjoong pouted as he rinsed out the suds from his head.

“I’ll tell you later what I think when I see it.”

“You will not see it!”

“Sorry, can’t hear you. The shower’s too loud.” Hongjoong made it a point to shut the water off.

“You will not see it.” Seonghwa laughed. “Baby, I looked like a wet rat.” Seonghwa giggled and it brought joy to Hongjoong’s little heart. He turned the shower back on to soap up the rest of his body. 

“I think you’re being overdramatic.”

“I’m not.” Hongjoong pouted. 

Soon, he was cleaned and out of the shower and putting on his robe. He fell onto his bed on his stomach and rested his cheek on his sheets to still be able to look at his phone. 

“You’re cute.” Seonghwa said simply. 

“You’re hot.” Seonghwa smiled. 

“Don’t get too comfortable. Get dressed or you’ll get sick.”

“I never believed in that, you know?” Hongjoong began his little rant whilst he also did what Seonghwa told him to. “Whenever it rained and I ran around outside, my mom told me to take a shower or I’ll get sick. So she told me because I am wet, I need to get more wet to ensure my health. How does that make sense?”

“It just does, Hongjoongie. _Mothers_ know best.”

“You really had to say, ‘mothers’ in Korean?” Hongjoong teased him.

“I can’t say that word properly. Don’t bully me.” Hongjoong giggled. He set his phone done on the dresser, filming the ceiling so he could get dressed quickly. 

“And put underwear on.”

“I don’t sleep with underwear! It’s so uncomfortable.” Hongjoong picked his phone back up to reveal he had put on a light pink hoodie. He went back into the bathroom to brush his hair and teeth as well as put moisturizer on his face.

“Fine. If it helps you sleep better.”

“I sleep fine regardless, Mars. I swear I’m not sleep deprived.” 

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Sleep deprived? It means that I haven’t been sleeping enough.” 

“Have you?” Hongjoong groaned and rolled his eyes just a little.

“Yes, I have!”

“Okay, sorry. I won’t ask again.” Hongjoong sighed, feeling a little guilty. Seonghwa was just looking out for him. Why should he be upset by that?

“No, I’m sorry. I’m just…cranky and tired. Not because I haven’t been sleeping but because I’ve had a long day, okay?”

“Okay, that’s fine. Do you still want to talk to me or are you going to sleep?”

“I wanna go to sleep talking to you like always.” Hongjoong pouted.

“All right. We can do that.” 

Hongjoong finished doing what he needed to do in the bathroom and then he was resting on his bed. He really could knock out in 2 minutes.

“What did you do today?” He asked Seonghwa.

“I had work. _This lady around my age came in and she took a whole bunch of clothes to try on, left them all in the dressing room, got some more and left them all in a different dressing room, complained to her friend that everything in here was ugly on her, then left. Guess who had to put everything away? Me.” Seonghwa sighed and when he looked back at his phone, Hongjoong was asleep. He chuckled and laid down properly on his bed._

“Goodnight, Joongie.” He whispered before standing the phone on his night table so he could fall asleep looking at Hongjoong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey remember joongie has friends lmao remember the rest of ateez exists???? im soz it took forever to write them into the story and even then, like i said in the tags, they were there for 2 secs oops
> 
> translations:  
> 1\. 너 때문에 미치겠다 (neo ttaemune michigetda): you're driving me crazy
> 
> the next chapter's already written.........should i wait until tomorrow to post?????
> 
> love you mWUAH


	9. bc.cb97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,833  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg

It was the night of the 30th of September. Tomorrow was October which meant the month where he’d get to finally meet Mars in person arrived. By this point, he had told everyone about him and that they had a strong connection and he really liked him and Seonghwa reciprocated his feelings at least to his knowledge and that he would be meeting him in person in October when he comes.

But a little bit past midnight, technically the first of October, Seonghwa messaged him nearly 2 hours after Hongjoong sent him a text asking him if they could start they’re almost nightly video call.

_mars.psh: joongie…please don’t get upset but i have something to tell you_

Hongjoong’s heart dropped to his stomach. 

_joongie98: what is it, mars? are you okay?_

He was on the verge of panicking when Seonghwa took a while to text back. 10 minutes later, he saw that he was typing.

_mars.psh: i really don’t want to tell you this  
mars.psh: but i don’t think i can make it this october_

Hongjoong could cry. He was crying. He waited three months. Maybe it wasn’t that long but he’s been wanting to meet him so badly and right when he thought he’d get to see him soon, he can’t.

When Hongjoong didn’t respond right away, Mars sent him another message.

_mars.psh: please don’t be upset. Listen. every month i send money to korea for my parents. my mom fell sick and i had to send more this month. i can’t afford to go to new york right now. i don’t know when i will…_

Now Hongjoong was crying more because here he was being a brat about not seeing his…not-boyfriend? while he was trying to look after his parents from a different country. Obviously, seeing Hongjoong isn’t his top priority when it comes to his mom or dad. Hongjoong knows that. But he still couldn’t help but feel unreasonably upset that NOW is when she got sick. Did the universe not want them to meet? 

_mars.psh: joongie…please text me back_

Hongjoong snapped out of it. He wiped his cheeks with his sleeve and sat up straighter. Right now, he had to be there for Seonghwa. His mother was sick for Christ’s sake. 

_joongie98: i’m sorry mars. I really hope she gets better soon. is it something really serious?_

_mars.psh: she has pneumonia_

_joongie98: oh no…mars i’m sorry this happened_

_mars.psh: it’s not your fault. but im sorry that i can’t see you…_

_joongie98: this isn’t about me right now. i understand. i really do. i’m sad about it…but im more concerned about you and your parents’ well being_

_mars.psh: honestly, joongie, i really wish you were here. im scared_

Hongjoong’s heart cracked painfully. 

_mars.psh: i’m getting more hours in to make up for what i sent them but if she’s still sick by the end of the month, i need to send more…so i don’t know when i can go meet you_

Hongjoong sniffed and set his phone down for a moment. He just needed to think. 

But then it hit him. Why was he waiting for Seonghwa to come to him when he could go to him instead? He picked up his phone to tell him about it but then a different idea came to him. He could surprise him, right? He’d just have to do some digging first. 

They didn’t end up video calling that night but they talked over the phone and Hongjoong’s heart broke even more hearing him cry. Thank God he wasn’t watching him do so or Hongjoong might just have to take a night train over there ASAP. 

The call went on through to the morning like it always did when one of them fell asleep before hanging up. Hongjoong ended it and sent him a message.

_joongie98: don’t overwork yourself. everything will turn out all right <3 _

He hoped he would be right in the end.

He started his investigation. He checked Seonghwa’s tagged photos and found that most of his tagged photos came from this person’s account, a Chris guy. He clicked on his profile and thanked the lord that it wasn’t private. He skimmed through his photos and deemed him a good friend of Seonghwa and dm’ed him.

_joongie98: hey! my name’s hongjoong. i know mars and i want to do a little surprise for him since he’s a little sad but i need your help. can you help me with that?_

Now he just had to wait. He started his day and sent Seonghwa a clip of him blowing him a kiss when Seonghwa sent him a thanks and a heart. 

_mars.psh: i’ll be working every day this week so i might not be so energetic_

Hongjoong frowned. He really hated that this was happening to him. He didn’t deserve that.

_joongie98: I understand baby. but please please please take care of yourself <3<3 _

_mars.psh: i will babe. you too <3 i’ll talk to you later okay _

_joongie98: okay 😘_

Seonghwa didn’t respond after that and maybe he shouldn’t have taken it so seriously but Seonghwa always had the last word and now that he didn’t take it when he really could have, it made Hongjoong mildly upset.

Did Chris dm him back, yet? Nothing. Should he go for another one of his friends? But all his tagged photos came from Chris. Was Chris his second biggest fan, after Hongjoong of course? 

He distracted himself for the entirety of his morning and early afternoon by painting, finally finishing up his portrait of a man that was based off of Mars but it didn’t quite have enough details for anyone to know that but him. This canvas was huge. A good 4 feet by 6. He splurged on it a few months back and it had been sitting in his room since until he found inspiration and finished this painting in just a week. Time to document it.

He took a few proper photos of it against the wall in his living room before he began his usual selfies of him posing next to it or in front of it. He took off his pants for this one so he was barefoot in a hoodie and sadly, in underwear as well. He sat on the floor next to it and took a photo. Stood in front of it with his back to the camera and took a photo. He brought his stool from his room and placed it in front of the painting and took a photo. Took a photo with him sitting on the stool next to the canvas. Then ended his shoot with a photo of him bare naked, sitting on the stool next to the canvas and tilting his head up towards not-Seonghwa’s face. He took a few photos like this until he got the perfect one.

He sent it to Seonghwa unedited and hoped it cheered him up.

_joongie98: can you tell who this is?_

He didn’t expect him to answer him immediately and he didn’t so Hongjoong began cleaning up. He put away his paints and left the painting next to the window to dry properly. He put away his tripod and then sat on his couch after grabbing the half eaten bag of family sized Lays chips.

He began editing the lighting of the photos he just took and chose which ones he wanted to upload. He picked three including the one he sent to Seonghwa and went to Instagram to upload them all at one but in individual posts to not make a set. 

For each post, he captioned it with a letter. P. S. H. He’s sure someone will notice. At least one person, right? He’s seen his dm’s of people asking him who mars.psh was to him and why he kept commenting on his photos even though he was on private and no one could see the images. They didn’t need to know just yet.

During the 3 months since he met Seonghwa, he’s gained enough followers to land him at 6,155. How he gained that many so quickly he didn’t know. He didn’t think he was doing anything different than what he’s done before. Maybe he was uploading more nudes than usual but that’s just because he’s been taking a lot for Seonghwa and uploading the rejects.

He didn’t check the likes or comments when he posted them, instead he went to his DMs to see if Chris finally dm’ed him back. He did!

 _bc.cb97: hey! i’ve seen you on mars’ comment section haha I’d love to help out! what do you wanna do?_

Oh thank god.

_joongie98: well first off thank you for wanting to help me! and okay so i live in new york and mars was supposed to come here anyways to visit and we were going to meet finally but he can’t so i want to surprise him by coming to boston instead  
joongie98: would you mind helping me like get to his place and stuff?_

Hongjoong turned on his TV and went onto Netflix. He clicked on a cartoon wanting to relax for a moment and not think about doing anything else. 

A few minutes later, he checked his dm’s again and found Chris responded.

_bc.cb97: wow he’d love that! yeah, he’s been down. i feel bad cause there’s nothing i can really do you know. he’d be so happy to see you wowowow okay so i can pick you up, take you to his place, no problem. just let me know if you have more details!_

_joongie98: i will! by any chance do you have discord or something so i can text you easily?_

_bc.cb97: i can give you my number. i tend to not check my apps that much. you got me at a good time haha here xxx-xxx-xxxx_

_joongie98: oh okay that’s perfect! thank you so much chris. i’ll text you rn so you have my number too_

Hongjoong took a deep breath and let it out. All right, so now there’s nothing stopping him from purchasing those train tickets to see Seonghwa…but why did he feel so incredibly nervous? What if Seonghwa wouldn’t be happy to see him there? What if Hongjoong wasn’t who or what Seonghwa thought he was and ends up not wanting to be with him anymore? 

No, he can’t think like this. He opened his laptop to look for tickets before he could change his mind.

He bought one for the 20th of October. He had 20 days. He can do this. That’s plenty of time to get time off of work and to get his shit together before meeting him. 

He took a picture of the ticket and where it was going to stop at and sent it to Chris before he forgot.

_”Got it! Shoot me a reminder the day before and I’ll make sure to be there on time!”_

_“Thank you so much, Chris. you’re the best!”_

Now…he just had to wait…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uploaded because the next chapter is written already fndjnfvkm odv


	10. boston

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,994  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg

“You have your shirts?”  
“Check.”  
“Jeans?”  
“Check.”  
“Vitamins?”  
“Check.”  
“Pajamas?”  
“I sleep naked so check.”  
“You are not sleeping naked next to a boy you just met.” Wooyoung pointed a strict finger at him. Yeosang giggled and brought it down.

“We had sex before you knew my last name. Don’t be hypocritical.”

“Babe, that’s different. He’s going away to meet someone he met on Instagram. I actually knew you in real life.” Wooyoung stage whispered to him. 

“I’m right here, asshat. Keep going down the list.”

“Fine. Toothbrush?”  
“Check.”  
“Hairbrush, face products?”  
“Check and check.”  
“8 by 11 inch photos of your best friends?”  
“Ooh, might be too late for that one.”

“That’s okay, I’ll get one for you right now.” Wooyoung went to pretend to leave the apartment but Yeosang stopped him.

“Don’t be dramatic.” 

“I think he has everything, Woo.” San told him from where he was laying down next to Hongjoong’s opened suitcase.

“…laptop?”

“Check.”

“Phone charger?”

“Of course, Woo. I have everything except my actual furniture in this suitcase. I’m only going for a week.” Hongjoong shrugged. “If I left something, it won’t be anything I can’t buy once I’m there.” Wooyoung sighed.

“And where will you be staying?”

“Hyatt.” Wooyoung scrunched his nose slightly.

“Hey, Hyatt Place is underrated.”

“I know I just don’t like you staying at a hotel by yourself in a city you’ve never been in.”

“Wooyoung, I’m literally a whole year older than you. I’m an adult. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m an adult, too, asshole! And forgive me for being worried for my friend’s safety while I’m not near!” Wooyoung crossed his arms and frowned.

“Okay, okay. I appreciate it, Woo, really. I know you love me and that’s why you’re worried. I’ll be fine, though. I promise!” Wooyoung broke and hugged him tightly. 

“You better call me every day, text me every morning and night, tell me if you’re home or out and if you’re not home then text me when you are home and I want you to—”

“Okay, okay, he gets it, Woo. Let him breathe.” Yeosang separated them. Hongjoong smiled at Yeosang and gave him a hug too before turning to San who was still laying down. San lifted his arms for a hug and Hongjoong jumped onto him to give him that. San grunted but hugged him tightly anyways.

“I’ll miss you, big bro. And don’t worry. We’ll collect your mail and look after your place well.” San reassured him as they both got up.

“Thanks. And I swear to god if I find even a droplet of your sex juices anywhere in my goddamn apartment,”

“We would never!” Wooyoung screeched.

“You already have! If you thought I couldn’t hear you in the bathroom, you and Yeosang of all people! Yeo, I had more faith in you.” Yeosang at least looked a little embarrassed. The last time they went to Hongjoong’s place for movie night, Yeosang and Wooyoung went away to the bathroom to have some fun while San slept on Hongjoong’s lap on the couch. 

“Wait, what?” San pouted at hearing this.

“Nothing, baby. We’ll tell you later. Okay, so, Hongjoong hyung has everything, right?” Wooyoung smiled too sweetly at Hongjoong and called him hyung? 

“You know San’s going to bust your balls over this. Calling me hyung won’t do anything.” Hongjoong closed his suitcase and took it off the bed.

“Oh, hyung, your uber’s here.” Yeosang said and handed him the phone that was on the night table.

“You either, sweet Yeosang.” Hongjoong grinned and took his phone before rolling his suitcase to the front door. He messaged his uber that he’d be right out. 

After an unnecessarily teary parting, Hongjoong was on his way to the train station to go meet Seonghwa…wow. In 5 or 6 hours, he’d be in his presence, hopefully in his arms, hopefully he’ll be glad to see him. 

Hongjoong got to Boston at 6pm and he met Chris not too long after.

“Hey! Hongjoong, right? I’m Chris.” He went in for a hug which Hongjoong reciprocated. 

“Hi, Chris! Thank you so much again for doing this.”

“It was no problem at all. I brought my boyfriend with me, I hope that’s all right?”

“Oh, yeah! That’s fine.”

“Okay, cool. His name is Felix. You’ll like him. Come on. He’s by the lobby.” 

Felix was really cute. All red hair and freckles and smiles. They were cute together.

“How long have you known Mars for?” Felix asked him from where he was sitting in the middle back seat. It took a little bit of a shove to get Hongjoong to sit in the front instead of him but he eventually gave in.

“Um, not that long. About 3 months. We met on Instagram. How modern of us.” Hongjoong joked and Felix laughed. 

“Chris and I met through Tinder if it makes you feel any better.”

“Oh God. I don’t even go anywhere near that app.”

“I made one just for shits and giggles and in the end, I landed this man right here.” Felix patted Chris on the shoulder who loved a little bashful. 

“I actually made one with every intention to find a partner. I was a little lonely.” Chris admitted.

“Aww,” Hongjoong and Felix said simultaneously before giggling. 

“Anyways! If you’re done laughing at my loneliness, how are we going to do this? Mars doesn’t get off of work until 9 so we have a few hours to kill. Do you want to surprise him at work or should I drop you off at his place?”

“Um, well I can’t get into his place, can I?”

“I have an extra key. But I’m also picking him up from work and dropping him off. He doesn’t drive here.” 

“Ah, yeah, he told me he’s too nervous to.”

“Yeah. So either works fine. It’s up to you.”

“Mm, then I’ll camp out at his place until he gets home.”

“Perfect, he’ll love that. I won’t let him know you’re here at all, no worries.” Then Chris squealed and clapped his hands. “This is so fun. Anyways, I’ll take you to your hotel so you can check in first, okay?”

“Perfect. Let’s do it.” 

By 8:30 pm, Hongjoong has checked in, eaten McDonalds and was now inside Seonghwa’s apartment. It was…immaculate. No dishes in the sink, not a crumb on the floor, not a pillow out of place. For some reason, this was not what he expected his place to look like. Inside his bedroom, the bed wasn’t properly made but the sheets and blankets were pulled up so it didn’t look too messy. Maybe he didn’t have time to make it properly in the morning. 

He found an ashtray next to the window on his desk and a packet of cigarettes next to it with a lighter. He checked the contents and found he had 5 left before setting it back down. 

He gently set himself in his bed and sniffed his pillows. Wow, he smells terrific already. Feeling the exhaustion of his day, he decided to rest until Seonghwa got there. He stood up and removed his sweatpants but for Seonghwa’s sake and their first time meeting in person, he kept his underwear and hoodie on, the rest came off.

He held his phone in his hand and got under the covers, trying to make himself as small as possible to see if Mars doesn’t notice him at all. 

10 minutes passed 9, Chris texts him.

“Driving back with Mars. 8 minutes out.” Hongjoong’s heart began losing control. This is it, oh my god. He was about to meet him. 

10 minutes later, he heard the keys in the lock then footsteps coming in before closing the door. He heard him moving around a bit, setting things down and opening the fridge, drinking out of a water bottle then shuffling some more. He heard the steps getting closer and closer until they were inside the room. Hongjoong didn’t move anything but his eyes as Seonghwa set his bottle down on the night table on the opposite side of where Hongjoong was. He hasn’t seen him yet.

To be fair, it was really dark and Seonghwa hadn’t turned on any lights yet. Hongjoong watched as he stood there next to the bed with his eyes closed for a moment before snapping out of it. He turned and sat down at the edge, giving his back unknowingly to Hongjoong as he typed on his phone. Hongjoong had a feeling he was texting him but luckily, he put his phone on mute before he arrived.

 _mars.psh: baby i’m home, can you call?_

Hongjoong didn’t respond to it. He watched Seonghwa stare down at his phone, waiting for him to do so until he set it down still opened to the app on the night table and stood up to remove his pants. When would be the best time to reveal himself?

Seonghwa grabbed his phone again then bit his lip before texting again.

_mars.psh: i don’t work tomorrow…we can talk late_

He was trying to incentivize him but he didn’t even need to. When Seonghwa sat back down at the edge of the bed, Hongjoong quietly texted back.

_joongie98: let’s talk then_

_mars.psh: so can i call?_

_joongie98: talk, i’ll hear you_

Hongjoong almost laughed at seeing Seonghwa frozen, his fingers hesitating to type something else out.

_mars.psh: ???_

_joongie98: don’t be scared_

He heard Seonghwa whisper to himself a ‘what?’ before Hongjoong began moving. Seonghwa jumped and stood up, whirling around to see who was in his bed. He was frozen for a few seconds, watching whoever it was move in the dark until he finally got the idea to turn the lights on. 

“아, 너무 밝아!” Hongjoong whined and put his hands over his eyes just to slowly put them down once his eyes adjusted enough. He looked nervously over at Seonghwa who looked at him as if he were a ghost.

“J-joongie?”

“Aha,” Hongjoong chuckled nervously. “Yeah. Surprise?” 

“Joong…you’re really here?” Hearing him speak in person is so much better than over the phone.

“Yeah,” his voice cracked, the emotions hitting him just now.

“H-how…?”

“Um, I asked your friend Chris to help me.” 

_“Channie hyung? I should have known.”_ Seonghwa huffed lightly.

“…Are you happy I’m here?”

“I am. God, I am, Joongie. I-I just can’t believe it.” Seonghwa ran a hand through his hair.

“Come here then. Touch me and you’ll know I’m really here.” Hongjoong held out his hand. He meant it innocently but not soon after realized the double entendre. He didn’t correct himself anyways and neither did Seonghwa.

Mars walked closer and slowly reached out for his hand. When they touched for the first time, they felt tingles and warmth radiate all over them. Hongjoong was really in his room and Seonghwa’s body was really right next to Hongjoong’s.

Seonghwa wasted no more time crawling into bed and hugging Hongjoong so tightly, they fell back onto the bed. Hongjoong’s laughter quickly turned to tears when he felt Seonghwa cry as well. 

“I really didn’t think I’d see you until next year.” Seonghwa admitted.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think to come to you instead but we’re together now, okay? That’s all that matters.”

“Joongie,” Seonghwa breathed out. “Joongie, I’m so tired but I want to stay awake with you.”

“Let’s go to sleep. I’ll still be here in the morning, okay?”

“Promise?”

“You have me all week, okay?”

“Okay.”

Every time, Hongjoong imagined himself in Seonghwa’s arms when they’d first meet. That he would be pressed against his body with his head on his chest but it was the other way around. Seonghwa’s head rested on his chest with Hongjoong’s leg over his thighs but they held each other equally as tight, afraid that they’d wake up and it would all be a dream. 

They’ll be glad to find out in the morning that it was very much real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooyoung being a mom we love that
> 
> translations:  
> 1\. 아, 너무 밝아! (ah, neomu balga!): ah, it's so bright!


	11. postmate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,931  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: if you wish to know the tw, please refer to the end notes***  
> *  
> *  
> *

Hongjoong woke up first in the morning and looked down at Seonghwa, still with his head on his chest. He gently ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back to reveal more of his face. He was even more gorgeous up close…and still with yesterday’s makeup. Hongjoong smiled and pecked his forehead. Wow, he can really kiss him now, huh?

He didn’t make any move to leave Seonghwa’s arms until he woke up. Seonghwa’s legs moved first before he opened his eyes.

“Joong…you’re really here.” Seonghwa held him even tighter as if that were possible.

“Of course, I am, Hwa.” They didn’t say much else for a few minutes, just basking in the feeling of the other.

 _”I’m gonna brush my teeth really quick._ You should too.” Seonghwa told him. Maybe he was hinting at something…

Hongjoong went through the backpack that he brought with his stuff and brushed his teeth next to Seonghwa in the bathroom. Seonghwa looked at him shyly through the mirror before spitting and rinsing out his mouth. He waited for Hongjoong to finish before leading him back to the bed. 

“You said you don’t work today, right?” Hongjoong paused, standing on his knees in the bed with Seonghwa laying down and holding his hand, trying to pull him down.

“Yeah, I’m off today. I work tomorrow until Thursday, though.” Thursday was two days away and he’s been working long hours. Hongjoong frowned. 

“I leave Sunday morning.” He said as he crawled into Seonghwa’s embrace, resting half of his body over his.

“I don’t want to think about you leaving now that I finally have you here.” 

“Mm. Yeah, let’s not talk about that.” Hongjoong nuzzled his nose against Seonghwa’s jaw, not really meaning for it to go anywhere. But then Seonghwa tilted his head down and all Hongjoong could focus on were his lips. His nice, soft, kissable lips. He wondered if it was too soon to kiss him yet.

“I figured meeting you for the first time to be under better circumstances.” Hongjoong admitted softly. 

“Me too. I was supposed to come to you first.” 

“But all this time, I could’ve gone to you. I don’t know why I waited so long.”

“Well, we got to know each other. We talked a lot before we met.”

“Mm. I practically know everything about you now.” Hongjoong smiled.

“Me too. About you.” Seonghwa dropped his gaze to Hongjoong’s lips and watched as he licked them, tempting him even more. 

“Would it be too much to kiss you right now?” Seonghwa whispered.

“You can do a lot more than just kiss me.” Hongjoong said before slowly moving closer. Seonghwa met him halfway and pressed their lips together. Hongjoong nearly pulled away from how giddy he got but he swallowed down his giggles and tried to ignore the immense butterflies in his chest.

Feeling his warm lips, his breath against his cheeks, he hasn’t felt a kiss like this…probably ever.

Their lips moved slowly against each other, softly touching with not too much pressure until Hongjoong moved up a little bit more to increase it. Seonghwa let him lead, let him kiss him hotly and slowly, let his tongue run across his bottom lip first before doing the same to him. Hongjoong pulled away, breathing heavily and staring down at his mouth. Seonghwa had an idea on what he was focused on.

“Y-you have a tongue piercing?” Seonghwa chuckled and nodded before showing him, sticking his tongue out enough to reveal the silver ball.

“You’re fucking unreal, what the hell?” Hongjoong kissed him again. This time however, he crawled up to straddle Seonghwa’s hips. He didn’t press his body against his, though, not sure if _that_ would be too much. 

Seonghwa, however, made the decision for him and pulled him down firmly but gently by his hips. Hongjoong now wasn’t holding himself up at all, letting his weight rest fully on top of Seonghwa who didn’t mind it one bit. 

Seonghwa’s hand slid over his hips and curved around his sides to pull the back of his hoodie up enough so it wasn’t covering his ass. Then, slowly, as to not jostle Hongjoong too much, he cupped his cheeks and squeezed ever so gently. He’s been dying to do that for months. Months. Hongjoong’s breath caught in his throat at the feeling of it. 

“Come on, squeeze it like you mean it.” Hongjoong taunted him then moaned when Seonghwa didn’t hesitate to do just that. He slipped his hands under his boxers as he trailed kisses down his jaw and neck. The tips of Seonghwa’s index and middle fingers were dangerously close to Hongjoong’s hole and it brought shivers down his spine whenever Seonghwa squeezed his ass.

“S-seonghwa, will you please touch me?” Hongjoong breathed out.

“Where do you want me to touch you, baby?” Fuck, fuck. Hearing him call him that in person ruined him in more ways than one. 

“Fuck, everywhere. My ass, my dick, everywhere.” Seonghwa breathed out a short laugh before running the tip of a finger over Hongjoong’s asshole. The latter gasped and stared down at Seonghwa who was looking at him to see his reactions. 

“Lube?”

“Fuck, baby, I ran out like last week.” Hongjoong whined.

“Why didn’t you get more?”

“I was working a lot. If I knew you were coming, I would have bought more.” Hongjoong whined again and rested his head on his chest, not knowing how they were going to continue without lube. He refused to be fucked without it. It’s been way too long since he’s had something up his ass so he needs all the help he can get.

“Come here, baby.” Hongjoong made a confused noise and lifted his head up to look at him.

“Get naked for me, babe.” Seonghwa gently pushed him off of him so he could remove his own hoodie. Wow, that’s how his tattoos look like up close. He was curious about his thigh tattoo though…or maybe he just wanted to see his boxers off. 

“I said,” Seonghwa grabbed his chin and lifted his head up to look at him in the eyes. _”Get naked.”_ Something about the way Seonghwa grabbed his chin, something about the tone he used, something about the look in his eyes that made Hongjoong want to strip naked, get on his hands and knees, and take him dry if he had to. But he settled for getting naked like he was told. 

He took off his hoodie then ran his fingers along the waistband of his briefs, feeling a little shy. 

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet, baby.” Seonghwa told him much softer.

“I want to do everything with you. I’m just a little…nervous, I guess. What if…you don’t like what you see?”

“Joongie… _I know you caught my attention with the way you looked and the photos you posted, but talking to you for the last 3 months,…I really fell for you. I hope you fell for me too or else I’ll feel like an idiot.”_ Seonghwa chuckled humorlessly and looked down at himself, feeling a little too exposed all of a sudden.

“Who in the world couldn’t fall for you, Mars Park? _Park Seonghwa, I fell so hard for you, I didn’t question whether or not you’d catch me because I knew you would.”_ Seonghwa looked at him with misty eyes.

“…Who taught you to say that?”

“Did I say it right? ‘Cause I didn’t plan that.” Hongjoong scratched at his shoulder shyly.

“No, you were, I mean, you said it well. Do…do you really mean that?” 

“Of course, I do, Hwa.” Seonghwa smiled shyly but then the look in his eyes changed when Hongjoong pulled down his briefs completely. Then he was on his knees in front of Seonghwa who was in the same position as him.

“So…what are you waiting for?” Hongjoong moved closer to Seonghwa and leaned forward, teasing him with the idea that he was going to kiss him but instead, he was pulling his boxers down. Slowly as to give him time to object. But he didn’t. And when Hongjoong glanced down, he was beautiful. His mouth watered at the thought of blowing him. He looked back up at Seonghwa who already looked out of breath but they haven’t even moved or done anything yet. 

“How do you want me, Mars?” 

_”On your hands and knees.”_ Hongjoong quickly assumed position and tried not to squirm as he felt the cool air hit his most private area. Seonghwa shuffled behind him before setting his hands on either of his cheeks and spread them, revealing more of him. Hongjoong squeaked and shook his hips just a little as if he needed to entice him some more. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait to be in you.” 

“B-but not without lube.”

“Of course not, baby. I’ll buy some today, though.” 

“So, what are you going to do to me now?” Hongjoong barely glanced over his shoulder before the breath got knocked out of him when he felt a tongue swipe boldly over his asshole. His arms gave up on holding him up and he rested his head on the pillow in front of him.

“Hwa!” 

Hongjoong’s mind went completely blank as Seonghwa rimmed him. Whenever he felt the ball of his tongue piercing snatch at his hole, he twitched in pleasure. 

“Fuck, that tongue of yours should be illegal.” Hongjoong breathed out before moaning almost embarrassingly high pitched when the tip of his tongue entered him. 

“Mm, turn over.” Seonghwa pulled back and watched as Hongjoong whined and turned over slowly. Seonghwa crawled over him and kissed him messily. Hongjoong moaned at the feeling of his tongue inside his mouth.

Suddenly, Seonghwa dropped his hips down and rubbed their cocks together. Hongjoong’s mouth fell open with a loud moan. He felt Seonghwa breathe against his lips as he rolled his hips over his. It was Hongjoong’s turn to grab Seonghwa’s ass to squeeze it, making Seonghwa moan in surprise.

“F-fuck, Hwa, like that. More,” Hongjoong whined.

 _“I can’t believe you’re here in my arms right now. Fuck, I want you like this every day.”_ Hongjoong had half the mind to process what he was saying but his orgasm was quickly approaching and he lost all sense of reality.

“Marsss, I’m gonna come.”

“Come, please,” Seonghwa whined ever so softly against his lips and this time, Hongjoong really did lose it. He grinded up to meet Seonghwa’s rolling hips just twice before he was coming so hard and suddenly. Seonghwa continued grinding down on him until he came. 

By the time Hongjoong came back to reality, he had an armful of Seonghwa, not that he would complain. 

“That was so hot.” Hongjoong said, wrapping his arms around Mars’ shoulders and kissing his forehead after pushing the hair back. 

“Yeah, fuck.” Seonghwa turned his head to kiss his pecs, right over his heart. They stayed like that for a while, maybe 30 minutes before Seonghwa slowly lifted his weight off of Hongjoong. He stayed like that, on his hands and knees over Hongjoong’s body and inspected the semi-dried up mess they made on their stomachs before looking up at Hongjoong. 

“Can I take a picture of you?” Seonghwa asked sweetly.

“What? Right now? Why?” Hongjoong giggled and hid his smile with his hands.

“You look so gorgeous right now, like this. I want to remember this moment forever.” Hongjoong nearly cried.

“Only if I could take one of you.” Seonghwa took a second to think it over but in the end, he agreed. So he grabbed his phone and straddled Hongjoong’s torso and pointed the phone at him. Hongjoong blushed and cupped his own cheeks with his eyes closed and a smile. 

“Don’t cover your face, baby. Look at me.” he moved his hands and opened his eyes and looked at the camera. Hearing the amount of clicks it made, Hongjoong giggled and the clicks continued.

“That’s enough, Hwa!” Finally the clicks ended. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Seonghwa leaned down and pecked his lips before sliding off of him and looking through the images. Hongjoong took that time to take his own phone and take pictures of him. He didn’t really think about it when he took a photo of his full body, his flaccid cock and everything. His body was just so gorgeous.

“Hey, did…am I showing in those?” Seonghwa asked once he realized the wide angle Hongjoong was shooting him at. 

“Yeah. Sorry. They’re just for me, though, I promise.” Hongjoong hoped Seonghwa trusted him because he would never in a million years leak anyone’s nudes, no matter how much the other hurt him. 

“…I trust you.” 

“You can take photos of me if you’d feel better.”

“I’ll take photos of you anyway if you let me.”

“You have my permission as long as you don’t share it with absolutely anybody. At least not without asking me first.” Hongjoong pointed a finger at him. Seonghwa sat up, putting his phone down, and lifted Hongjoong onto his lap to straddle him. 

“Your photos are mine. Remember? I would never do that. Would never want them to see your body the way I just got to.” Seonghwa’s hands ran over his soft skin and Hongjoong may have swooned just a little bit. 

“Mm, what if I do this?” Hongjoong switched to the front camera and took photos of their bodies pressed together. Their cocks weren’t showing but it was clear they were naked, the side of Hongjoong’s bare ass showing proudly. Seonghwa’s tattoos stood out beautifully on his arms and Hongjoong’s never looked so tiny. 

Their faces didn’t show in the photos but anyone who knew Hongjoong’s body through his Instagram photos would recognize the little beauty mark on his ribs. 

“…Would it be too much to upload these?” 

Seonghwa chuckled as he thought about it.

“Do it.”

“What if I tagged you too?” Seonghwa smirked.

“Do that too. Your fans will be pissed though when they find out they can’t follow me.” Hongjoong giggled and set off to edit the lighting of one of the photos.

In this one, the angle showed more of Hongjoong’s ass than Seonghwa’s stomach and it showed Seonghwa’s hand gripping his right butt cheek while the other hand was splayed across his spine. It was hot, it was sensual, it was beautiful. He brightened the photo to make sure his asshole or Seonghwa’s dick wasn’t showing then fixed the lighting before deeming it Instagram worthy. He showed it to Seonghwa first for his approval and just like that, uploaded it with a single red heart as the caption and Seonghwa’s Instagram tagged.

He waited 30 seconds before refreshing the page to see the reaction they got. Hongjoong immediately laughed at the comments saying, “IS THIS PORN???”, or “JOONGIE GOT DICKED TF DOWN”. He wishes. He still has to wait until later for that.

“They’re so curious about you, babe.” Hongjoong pointed to a comment that had a short fit about not knowing who this Mars stranger was and why Hongjoong wouldn’t talk about him to them.

“My aesthetic is at it’s peak.” 

“You said that really well!” Hongjoong cheered for him.

“I’ve been practicing.” Seonghwa admitted shyly and hid his face in his neck.

“I can tell.” Hongjoong dropped his phone and hugged Seonghwa tightly. Seonghwa’s grip tightened around him and they stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of them loosening their hold at all until Seonghwa’s stomach growled. Hongjoong gasped and pulled back.

“You didn’t eat last night, did you?!” 

“I guess not, no.” 

“Mars! Let’s go have breakfast. Come.” Hongjoong crawled out of bed and reached for Seonghwa’s hand. He took it and allowed himself to be pulled up but when he let go to look for his boxers, Hongjoong grabbed both of his hands again.

“No! I told you if I got you in bed, you’re not allowed to get dressed.” Hongjoong smirked evilly. Seonghwa blushed and laughed but allowed himself to be lead to his own kitchen. 

“This feel weird. I never walk around naked.”

“Really? I never would have thought that since you’re always shirtless.”

“Shirtless isn’t naked.” 

“You’ll find that it’s so liberating to just, let it hang.” Hongjoong shook his hips and giggled when Seonghwa’s gaze focused on Hongjoong’s swinging dick.

“Stop!” He covered himself and hid behind Mars. 

“I literally just licked your asshole. Why are you getting shy on me?” Hongjoong _screeched._ How dare he say such words? Seonghwa chuckled then moved away to take out food from the fridge. Hongjoong’s eyebrows raised at the sight of his cute butt.

“I was right. Your butt is cuter than mine.”

“Don’t look!” Seonghwa stood up straight and tried to hide his ass with the refrigerator door.

“Hypocrite!” 

“I don’t know what that means!” Hongjoong giggled and walked up to him to pat his hips. 

“I hope you know I like to walk around naked a lot so when you get home from work tomorrow, don’t be surprised.” Seonghwa sighed. 

“I think I’ll call in sick tomorrow.” Hongjoong raised his eyebrows at him.

“Why?” Seonghwa closed the fridge and brought him into his arms.

“I don’t want to spend my entire week with you working. I want to actually be with you and hold you and…as soon as I get lube, fuck you ‘til you can’t walk.” Seonghwa’s voice lowered as he spoke against his temple. Hongjoong gasped lightly.

“Don’t talk like that again until you get lube.” Hongjoong hit his shoulder and backed away from his arms. 

“I can postmate it right now.” 

“…..Do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: sexual content! but what's new. oral sex, taking of nudes, rimming, shit like that**
> 
> the smutty smut has arrived ladies and gentlemen, if you cannot handle the spice, drink some milk.
> 
> love you MWUAH
> 
> p.s. thank you so much for the comments!!! they really bring a smile to my face. i didn't think this story would do that well but omg i'm nearly overwhelmed with comments but i love it!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3
> 
> p.p.s LOONA. FUCKING. DID. THAT. KIM LIP OWNS MY FUCKING SOUL.
> 
> p.p.p.s i've been having san feels. i don't have a biasbias in ateez but i have like a bias of the week/month and it's been yunho for a hot minute but san...he's creeping up. i can feel it.


	12. shyshyshy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,153  
> Twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: if you wish to know the TW, pls refer to the end notes***  
> *  
> *  
> *

Postmating lube and condoms was the best idea ever.

They had shoved food into their stomachs a few minutes before the doorbell rang. Seonghwa opened the door just enough to collect the items, hiding his naked body behind said door as he did so and then he was running, read that again, running back into the bedroom where Hongjoong was waiting for him.

“Got it.” Seonghwa smiled like a dork as he closed the door and took out the items in the bag.

“I feel bad for that guy.” Hongjoong giggled.

“I don’t.” Seonghwa smirked and got back on the bed. He intended on getting on top of Hongjoong but last second, Hongjoong flipped their positions over. It was really hot, the smirk that he had on his face as he licked down his chest all the way to the tip of his cock. 

“I’ve been dying to suck you off since you sent me that video in the train.”

“Let’s not talk about the train experience.” Hongjoong giggled and rested his forehead on his thigh for a second. 

“Yeah, now might not be the time.” Hongjoong left an open mouthed kiss on the base of his dick, right above his balls, making Seonghwa hold his breath. He left a few more trailing up to the tip but then completely ignored where he was dripping precum. Seonghwa sighed almost frustratingly when instead, he began kissing and nipping at the skin around his cock. Right over his pubic bone, licked at skin next to his cock, then proceeded to suck his balls into his mouth. 

“F-fuuck, keep doing that.” Seonghwa’s thighs were shaking under Hongjoong’s hands and he felt a sense of pride at being the only one who gets to do this him, make him like this, see him like this. Hongjoong licked at his perineum and even let the tip of his tongue just barely run across Seonghwa’s hole. Seonghwa twitched and did what Hongjoong really hoped he would. He lifted his legs just enough for Hongjoong to have easy access to his most private part of his body. Hongjoong encouraged him to lift his legs up more by putting his hands on the back of his thighs and pushing them. Then Hongjoong went to work. 

Seonghwa was a moaning mess, much higher and louder than he ever was while on the phone and Hongjoong was _living._ He moaned himself too as he licked into him, strengthening his tongue to lick as far in as he could. Seonghwa hissed in pleasure and snuck a hand to his cock to give himself more pleasure. After deliciously torturing him for a few minutes, he took his tongue out and kissed the area around it before trailing his kisses back up his cock and finally taking the tip into his mouth. Seonghwa’s hand moved to grip at his hair. Hongjoong pulled away to say something.

“Push my head down. Be rough with me just this once please, baby.” 

When Hongjoong would take him back into his mouth, he moaned as Seonghwa pushed his head down slowly at first until Hongjoong’s nose was burying itself into his pubic hair. He thanked the lord he cleaned himself well. 

Seonghwa held him there for a few seconds before pulling him back up just to push him back down. He pulled him back up midway and held him there as he began to thrust into his mouth. Fuck yes.

“Fuck, Joongie. Shit, you’re so gorgeous like this too.” Hongjoong hummed in response, his mouth being a little too occupied to respond properly. 

Eventually, Seonghwa pulled him off before he could come. He held his head up and watched as Hongjoong gulped in some air, his lips wet with drool and precum, his eyes and nose red from the tears that fell out from choking on his dick. So gorgeous.

“Can I…” Seonghwa didn’t know if it was too much to ask for.

“Take a photo of me.” Hongjoong said in a croaky voice. Seonghwa wasted no time taking his phone from the nighttable and doing just that. Hongjoong smiled dreamily in one of the photos and Seonghwa thought that one was his favorite one. 

“You’re turn, baby.” Seonghwa let go of his grip on his hair and let him crawl to the top of the bed and fall down to lay on his stomach.

“Like this, babe?” Seonghwa asked him.

“I like getting fucked from behind.” Hongjoong admitted. Seonghwa chuckled and kissed the base of his spine before cracking open the brand new bottle of KY Jelly. 

“Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

“Honey, I took a train to come see you, I’ve told you so many times that I want to get fucked by you when I finally do see you. If anything I should be asking you if you want to do this with _me.”_ Hongjoong looked over his shoulder at him.

“Do you see how hard I am right now?” Hongjoong giggled as Seonghwa blatantly pointed at his very hard cock. “It’s all because of you.” Seonghwa leaned over to kiss him. A soft, open mouthed kiss that left Hongjoong hungry for more. 

_“I’m just saying, if you don’t want to go all the way yet, I’ll stop right now. We can do anything else. It doesn’t have to be this.”_ Hongjoong’s eyes may have teared up a little bit.

“You’re the nearest thing to perfection and I would never deny you anything, Hwa. Please, keep going. Mark me, make me yours.” Hongjoong whispered against his lips before kissing them. 

“As you wish, baby.” Seonghwa gently pushed him back down onto the pillow and leaned back. He spread Hongjoong’s legs to give himself easier access to his puckered hole. He let the lube dribble onto his hole before he touched it. Hongjoong gasped a few times as Seonghwa teased him.

His touch was so light, he almost couldn’t feel it. But then he was pressing his pointer finger into him and Hongjoong momentarily stopped breathing.

“Relax, baby, relax,” Seonghwa whispered, rubbing his other hand over his lower back. It didn’t take long at all before Hongjoong was begging him to put another finger in. The stretch of it wasn’t that painful and it went away rather quick. Hongjoong was moaning sweetly, moving his hips forward to grind on the sheets but then also moving them backwards to meet Seonghwa’s fingers.

“Another one, please, please, want you in me already.” Hongjoong whined.

“Patience, baby, I’m right here.” Seonghwa sounded like he was calm and collected but on the inside, it was taking everything to not just go for it. But no. Hongjoong deserves the best, the utmost love and care and damn it, he’s going to give it to him.

Soon, his three fingers were squelching due to the amount of lube he used as he picked up the speed in which he finger fucked him. At this point, he was as stretched as he was going to get with his fingers and without Hongjoong asking him to, he took his fingers out. He cleaned his fingers out with his boxers that were still on the bed and grabbed a condom. With shaking fingers, he managed to put it in and rub some more lube over it.

“Okay, are you ready, babe?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m ready, ready,” Hongjoong muttered a bit to himself as Seonghwa moved closer. He anticipated the first poke as he lined himself up to him. He held his breath as he pushed in. Then he let out a rather whiny moan as he felt the stretch. It wasn’t terribly bad because of how stretched out he was, in fact, he loved the sting of it.

When Seonghwa was buried deep in him, he moved to straddle his hips and leaned his torso on top of Hongjoong. Hongjoong let out another whiny moan as the pressure became nearly unbearable.

“Fuck! Hwa, move. Fuck me!” Seonghwa kissed the back of his neck before pushing himself back up, holding his weight up with his arms on either side of Hongjoong’s head and pulled out halfway slowly then pushing back in. Hongjoong gasped and gripped Seonghwa’s wrists. 

As Seonghwa increased his pace, Hongjoong was losing his mind. Somehow, he kept hitting him in the right fucking spot. It shot tingles up and down his spine.

“Harder! Oh my god,” He gasped. “You’re unreal. Oh my god, oh my god,” Hongjoong kept repeating himself as he neared his orgasm. He really was about to come untouched, huh? He’s never done that before but here he was, making a mess of Seonghwa’s navy bed sheets. 

His moans were loud and high and Seonghwa loved it. He moaned almost uncontrollably in his ear as Hongjoong’s body clenched and unclenched around him. He wasn’t going to last another 10 seconds. Soon, he was coming into the condom, moaning onto Hongjoong’s skin. He kissed his shoulder gently as he rolled his hips a bit more until Hongjoong whined from the oversensitivity. Seonghwa tried to pull out gently to not hurt him but he still ended up flinching.

“Sorry, baby.”

“Don’t you dare apologize when you just gave me the best fuck of my life. Nothing will be able to top that.” Seonghwa chuckled as he took off the condom and properly disposed of it. 

When he got back to the bed, he laid on his side facing Hongjoong, giving him some space to come back down from the orgasmic high. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t take a picture of me,” Hongjoong pointed out and giggled.

“This was our first time. I wanted to just be in the moment.” Hongjoong smiled at him shyly.

“Just letting you know, when I ride you later tonight, I’m recording your moans. That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Literally, none of my past sexual partners ever moaned for me. How boring.” Seonghwa laughed. “You’ve basically changed my life, Hwa. I really hope you stay in it for a long time.” Seonghwa’s gaze on him turned tender as he shuffled a little closer and rubbed tiny circles up and down his spine.

“I want to be in your life. I want you to be in mine. But I have to ask you something,”

“Anything.”

“…Are we, like, together? Like boyfriends? Or is this just for fun?”

“I’m offended.”

 _“No, baby, I’m serious. I know what I want to be to you and I hope you want to be the same thing for me.”_ Hongjoong held himself up with his elbows, his head slightly hovering over Seonghwa’s.

“I thought it was obvious I want to be yours. Just yours. I want to be your boyfriend.”

“O-oh. Okay. Thank God. So did I.” Hongjoong giggled.

“So…” Seonghwa trailed off.

“So?” Hongjoong teased him. 

“D-do I ask you?” Hongjoong laughed. 

“How can you still be so shy if you just fucked me into your mattress?!” Hongjoong moved to lay on top of him.

“I told you I was shy.” Seonghwa whined but held him tightly. 

_“Seonghwa-ssi, will you be my boyfriend?”_

“O-okay.” Hongjoong giggled and pressed their lips together. 

“You know, I can go again.” Hongjoong moved to straddle his hips and sat up. Seonghwa looked so fucked out still. So gorgeous under him. 

“Huh?”

“Let me take a photo of you like this.” Hongjoong took Seonghwa’s phone still on top of the bed and took a few photos of him. Seonghwa tried to hide his face with his hair, then with his hands, but the photo that Hongjoong loved the most was the one with Seonghwa’s hand over his own chest, his hair a mess, his eyes closed, a soft smile playing on his lips as he leaned his cheek onto Hongjoong’s hand as he cupped his face. 

“This one. Do you see how gorgeous you are?” Seonghwa blushed and pushed the phone away to kiss Hongjoong. 

“I’m sending it to myself. Can I post it or no?” Seonghwa bit his lip nervously as he thought about it.

“I can crop it a little more so my knees don’t show.” A little bit of his knees and lower thighs were peeking at the bottom part of the photo so if the shirtless Seonghwa didn't give enough of a hint what they just did, maybe his bare thighs around his lover's torso would.

“N-no, you can post the whole thing. Tag me in it, yeah?” Hongjoong giggled and kissed him again before sending himself all the photos via air drop. 

On his phone, he edited that one image and posted it with a pink heart this time. He looked back at the photo he posted earlier and smiled. He loved them both. He set both of the phones on the night table and laid down on top of his chest again. 

“What should we have for lunch?”

“A nap.” Seonghwa said.

“Mm. Sounds delicious.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: motherflippin smut my dudes, the whole nine yards, dick sucking, rimming, anal fingering, anal penetration, lit what's new??**
> 
> I don't remember if i had anything to translate, i skimmed through this so if there is something i missed let a biss know
> 
> i do believe we are nearing the end of this story......ndfvnmfosdfm i have a chapter and a half written already with an idea on how to end it. it might take another 3-4 chapters. plans may change but for now this is what i have in mind <3
> 
> i love you mWUAH
> 
> p.s. i keep forgetting to name the chapters before i post ugh


	13. 사랑한다

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,898  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: u know what, tw is sex okay***  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> dear lord if youre early pls give me time to put the photo references. there's quite a bit. i went pinterest crazy.

Seonghwa ended up calling sick for the rest of the week, going as far as to chop onions to make himself teary and stuffy to play the part. The things he did for love. It was now Friday and they had just gotten dressed to go out but they decided it was still too early for lunch so they were wasting time laying next to each other on the bed.

“What if your coworkers find these photos and see that you’re absolutely fine?”

“They wouldn’t rat me out.”

“Ooh, you know that term.”

“Yeah. First time I got to use it though.” Hongjoong giggled.

Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong’s profile, as in the side of his face. Seonghwa was laying on his back while Hongjoong laid on his stomach and holding himself up with his elbows and scrolling through Instagram. Seonghwa got the idea to take his own photos of him touching Hongjoong this time.

Hongjoong has taken the habit of catching Seonghwa off guard by taking a photo of him and uploading it to either his story or his page.

He had asked for Seonghwa’s [hand](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/88/6d/2b/886d2bcdf92874dfc46a08f75748122a.jpg) when they were [out](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/40/05/07/400507b604be543883a37a3009a2d028.jpg) and took a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/68/16/09/6816097b2cfd23af1dba02932575f933.jpg) of them. He did this a few [times](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ab/2f/3c/ab2f3cff45d64999d0fc0c16afd12728.jpg) and Seonghwa [saved](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/de/be/c7/debec7c51818440c9057973044dded58.jpg) them all, loving the size differences of their [hands](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7f/52/2d/7f522d8c59d91ebbcd992491fb23d683.jpg).

They’d be out on a [walk](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e4/ea/10/e4ea105d34e3ad5ef2062363cac9bc64.jpg) so Seonghwa could [smoke](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/10/f8/31/10f8310947d85a53abebe6711ec432e2.jpg) without getting the [smell](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ed/2d/68/ed2d68c577abe4ca65f7eebf29fdcfa4.jpg) in the apartment and he’d call his [name](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e1/43/8d/e1438d8c640f92a6429a4c42fabf9dfa.jpg) and take a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/da/8e/24/da8e248bae18e5786bdede4a0a4fd221.jpg) of him. Those…he did not save but he let Hongjoong keep them all, even if he didn’t think he looked that amazing.

He’d let Hongjoong take random [selfies](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e5/94/d8/e594d82ba21ae76241dc1b42c9753ece.jpg) of them, even [smiling](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/46/46/af/4646afbcbdf3d75ec90e175401658d4b.jpg) at the camera openly because he asked him to. He’d also let him take random [clips](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/79/a9/9e/79a99e41ac5516922f5595a86b9d5e2f.gif) of him, not caring if he looked like an [idiot](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6c/cd/de/6ccdde386e856fc944d069cf6fb021da.gif) because it made him smile.

He let his friends, mostly Chan and Felix take [photos](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/40/56/31/405631b290753e07adcbafb12c57395b.jpg) of them and upload them to their [Instagram](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b6/8a/28/b68a28e57f1b0682d2dd0f4fa62163a0.jpg) making sure to [tag](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/06/0b/4e/060b4e1d3a8be28ea0290735ef86314c.jpg) the both of them (Hongjoong, Chan, and Felix now followed each other.)

But don’t get him wrong, he does take [photos](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/12/95/c5/1295c58be1a20204cc626a2abbb15283.jpg) and [videos](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/aa/6e/36/aa6e36e334d9af2e4401f62d7d735dfd.gif) of Hongjoong too. How could he not when he has a [smile](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/00/c9/2d/00c92d7b4c37d8704379d55b576f8c6b.gif) like that? He was [really](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/17/03/0d/17030d7428ba5d5aa218f7bd7e80f836.jpg) going to [miss](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7e/17/9b/7e179babf3088b4408a5806bad09a013.jpg) seeing it [every](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/90/a1/c6/90a1c67e0644eaa812169d746ad68b75.jpg) day. Speaking of every day, Hongjoong hasn’t been in his hotel room for anything other than to get more clothes to bring back to Seonghwa’s apartment. They had a tiny little bickering match about it when Seonghwa found that out.

“You could’ve just stayed here.”

“I didn’t want to assume I could crash at your place.”

_“You offered for me to stay at yours so why do you think I wouldn’t offer you the same?”_

“I don’t know. But it’s fine.”

“Joongie, you wasted money on a hotel you’re not staying at.”

“So, you want me to go stay at the hotel?”

“No! Stay.” Seonghwa pouted and clung onto him tighter.

“Ah, that’s what I thought. I can’t believe we’re already having our first argument. We’ve been together for 6 hours!”

“We’re not arguing. We’re having a _discussion.”_ Hongjoong giggled and kissed him and that was the end of that.

Right now, though, Seonghwa straddled Hongjoong’s legs and slapped his jean cladded ass. Hongjoong squeaked but did nothing else when Seonghwa kept his hand there. He said nothing when he heard the sound of the [camera](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/5d/f0/b1/5df0b1f0daf5a2a9151f9b51dcbde76e.jpg) clicking. Seonghwa gave it another baby smack before moving to rest his head on it as he looked through his photos. He went onto his Instagram and looked through his own page.

He had 35 photos in it currently and he’s deleted as much as he could to keep it at 25 or under but in the end, a good 15 of those photos were of Hongjoong or the two of them together. Chan and Felix commented on every single one of them as well as Hyunjin, Jisung, and Minho, his coworkers. He blushed at the thought of going back to work and them treating him differently now that they’ve seen his tagged photos in Hongjoong’s page. Those were a little less than Rated R.

But Seonghwa’s page was so soft. He loved to show off the smile on Hongjoong’s face and his cute little antics.

“Are you going to upload that?” Hongjoong asked him.

“I’m thinking about it.” Then he held his phone out and took a selfie with his head still pillowed by Hongjoong’s ass and his body in between his legs. He smiled innocently and decided he’ll post the two of them in a set. He tagged Hongjoong like always and now his 35 photos became 36.

“Should we go now?” Hongjoong asked him. It was 12:44 pm.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They went to a little hole in the wall restaurant that Seonghwa loved. It served all the main dishes that he missed from Korea and it gave Hongjoong nostalgia from all the Korean meals his mom cooked him when he was younger.

“Why did you move here on your own?” Hongjoong asked him.

“I’ve always wanted to at least visit America. My stay here was supposed to be momentary, just for Spring and Summer but I extended my Visa and I decided I wanted to stay here. I really miss Korea but I liked the friends I made here. I didn’t have many friends in Jinju.” Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows.

“I find that hard to believe. None?”

“None. I was very quiet in school and too shy to join any clubs. Any friends I made were just in school. I never hung out with them outside of school.” Hongjoong frowned.

“Well, now you have a super sexy boyfriend and Chris and Felix and Hyunjin and Minho and Jisung and—”

“Okay, okay, I get it, babe.” Seonghwa laughed.

“사랑행~” Hongjoong gave him heart eyes and sent him a finger heart. Seonghwa’s own heart might have exploded. Say heart one more time. Heart.

“사랑한다.” Seonghwa smiled shyly and shoved more Kimchi down his throat. Hongjoong giggled. He whipped out his phone and called out his name. Seonghwa knew what he was trying to do so he didn’t look up. He covered his face with his hand until Hongjoong gave up. He still posted that photo to his story anyways.

After their little lunch date, they went shopping. Hongjoong surprised him a little by taking him to the women’s section and picking out some items that he hasn’t seen on him just yet.

“I’ve been seeing pictures of boys in fishnets and I’ve been wanting to try them.” He said as he crouched down to look at the different packets of tights. There’s pink fishnets, blue fishnets, black fishnets, polka dot tights, tights with a white bow in the back of the thighs. So many options.

“I’ll just go for the classic black. What do you think?” He looked up at Seonghwa who was looking at a pair of black shorts behind him.

“Hmm?” He turned to him, letting go of the shorts.

“Why were you looking at those shorts?” Hongjoong smiled as he stood up with the fishnets.

“N-no reason.”

“You want them?” Seonghwa shook his head. “For me?” He hesitated to answer. Hongjoong giggled and picked up a size he thought might fit him.

“Anything else? I’ll model them for you.”

“No, Joongie. Don’t spend unnecessary money.” Seonghwa tried to take the shorts to put them back.

“It’s my money, though. I can spend it however I want.” Seonghwa sighed and let it go.

“Ooh, what about this skirt.”

_”Joong-ah, I will literally get hard right here, right now at just the thought of you in that thing.”_

“Noted. So I’m getting this one too.”

Seonghwa was screwed.

The first thing Hongjoong tried on was the fishnets with the shorts. He loved it. He left the bathroom to show Seonghwa who froze at the sight of him.

“What do you think?” Hongjoong grinned and did a little twirl.

“Your legs look amazing in that.”

“The shorts or the tights?”

“Both.” Hongjoong giggled and got on the bed next to him.

“These shorts were a little too tight to wear underwear so I have none underneath.” Hongjoong grinned cheekily at him.

“You never wear underwear anyways.”

“I know!”

“Wait,” Seonghwa took out his phone and stood up. “Pose.” Hongjoong did so. He got on his hands and knees and posed, stood up on his knees and [posed](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/9c/9c/10/9c9c1082a81a6047873db8408a671f12.jpg) and at one point, he was face down, ass up with a hand on his ass. That one’s just for Seonghwa though.

“It’s ridiculous how hot you look in these.” Seonghwa put a hand over his hips as Hongjoong lifted himself up on his knees at the edge of the bed. Seonghwa was standing behind him and running his hands all over his hips and waist.

“You really like ‘em, huh?”

“I like _you in them.”_ Hongjoong giggled then gasped lightly when he felt a pair of lips kiss the sensitive part of his neck. Seonghwa ran his hands up Hongjoong’s t-shirt before letting one go down to cup his dick. Hongjoong moaned and stuck his ass out more so he could grind against Seonghwa’s crotch.

“I wanna fuck you in these. Just these.” Seonghwa pinched the fishnets and let it snap back against Hongjoong’s thighs.

“Fuck, that’ll be so hot.” Hongjoong moaned.

Seonghwa dropped one more kiss on his neck before pulling away to help Hongjoong get undressed. Once his shirt was off, Hongjoong unbuttoned his new shorts and slowly pushed it down and over his ass knowing that Seonghwa was fixated on it. He leaned forward until his shoulders rested on the bed and his ass was on full display. Seonghwa helped him take his shorts off all the way and he threw them to the side.

“Fuck me like this. Don’t take your clothes off.” Hongjoong always found that hot, to be fucked by someone with their clothes on and he’s fully naked. Well, in just fishnets but that’s even hotter. He heard Seonghwa curse in his native tongue under his breath as he grabbed the lube and poured some over his hole. Hongjoong moaned as two fingers immediately plunged inside. He was still pretty stretched from their adventurous shower that morning.

“Ungg, just stick it in me. I can take it. Please, do it.” Seonghwa slapped his right butt cheek making Hongjoong squeak and twitch in surprise.

“I wish you could see how you look right now.” He said as he quickly rolled a condom over his cock.

“Film it.” Hongjoong said. Seonghwa froze for a moment.

“R-really?” Hongjoong nodded as best as he could in his position.

“With your phone.”

“Fuck, where is it?” Hongjoong giggled softly as Seonghwa looked for his phone almost frantically until he found it next to Hongjoong’s shorts on the bed.

“Are you sure, baby?”

“Yes, oh my god, do it and fuck me already.” He heard the ding from the phone signaling that he was recording. A few seconds later, Seonghwa was finally pushing into him. Hongjoong gladly pushed back against him to speed up the process. He was hungry for it, damn it. Hongjoong was the one to move forward to fuck himself back down on Seonghwa’s dick.

“Fuck, baby. Do that again.” Seonghwa whispered. Hongjoong gladly did so until his thighs hurt too much to keep going. Seonghwa noticed this and gripped his waist with his free hand then began pounding into him. Hongjoong loved it when he lost control like that. He loved it when he made him nearly scream from pleasure, reddening the back of his thighs with how hard he was being fucked.

Seonghwa gripped the waist band of the tights and twisted it in his hand for leverage then started up the same rhythm.

 _”Fuck, Hongjoong, you like it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?”_ All Hongjoong could do was moan and cry from pleasure. He barely noticed Seonghwa stop the recording to throw his phone to the side so he can focus 100% on getting his boyfriend off.

“W-wait! Wait, wait,” Seonghwa stopped, the only sound coming from their mouths as they breathed heavily.

“What is it, baby? Was I hurting you?” He asked as Hongjoong pulled himself off of Seonghwa.

“N-no, just,” Hongjoong turned over onto his back and raised his legs.

“Fuck me like this.” Surprisingly, they haven’t fucked like this just yet. They haven’t looked into each other’s eyes as they came apart and that shouldn’t be legal.

Seonghwa quickly picked up Hongjoong and crawled up the bed to rest his lover’s head on top of pillows before he did anything else.

“Is that comfortable?” He fluffed up the pillow under his head and Hongjoong felt those damn butterflies again.

“Yes, thank you baby.” Hongjoong smiled at him and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Without having to be told, Seonghwa guided his cock back into his lover but this time, his pace was a bit more controlled, not as frantic. There was something so magical, so sensual about saying his lover’s face contort as he found his prostate.

“F-fuck, fuck I regret not taking your clothes off.” Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa chuckled and paused to take his shirt off at least.

“Better?”

“It’ll do for now.” Seonghwa leaned back down when Hongjoong reached his arms up for him.

He resumed his pace once again, switching up the angle until he had Hongjoong trembling in his arms with the need to cum. Hongjoong’s moans turned into whines when Seonghwa switched to rolling his hips into him. Hongjoong clung onto Seonghwa as if he couldn’t hold him tightly enough.

“I want you close.” He cried out.

“I’m right here, babe.” Seonghwa reassured him, pressing his forehead against his.

“I want you real close.” There were actual tears falling from his cheeks.

“I’m right here. I’m right here.” He kept whispering until they were coming at the same time.

Seonghwa didn’t know what to expect but for Hongjoong to start sobbing definitely wasn’t it.

“What’s wrong, baby? Did I hurt you?” All Seonghwa could do was hug Hongjoong to him since the latter hadn’t let him go just yet.

“Baby, talk to me.” He asked him when he didn’t respond.

“I just…I love you so much. I don’t want to leave. I want to be near you always.” Hongjoong sniffled wetly. Maybe it was just because they fucked while staring into each other’s eyes but Hongjoong felt so emotional. He didn’t even feel this emotional when he thought he wouldn’t get to see Seonghwa at all. It was one of those moments that now that he knows what he’ll be leaving behind, he really doesn’t want to.

“Baby, let’s not think about that.” He said as if he wasn’t tearing up himself about it.

“I leave in two days. How can I not?” Seonghwa sighed and just held him. That’s all he could do. He wasn’t ready for Sunday to come. He didn’t want to let go of him either.

“We’ve only known each other for three months, we’ve only been face to face for a few days but…you’re so special to me. So special.” Hongjoong held him even tighter, as if that were possible, and kissed his cheeks repeatedly. Seonghwa couldn’t remove his face from his neck. He didn’t want him to see him crying.

“I feel the same. About you.” Seonghwa’s voice sounded choked as he tried to push down the rest of his sobs.

“I-I’ll visit again as soon as I can. For a longer time.” Seonghwa took in a deep, shaky breath then let it out. He waited a few more seconds before lifting his head to wipe at his eyes. Hongjoong helped him. It wasn’t until Seonghwa tried to sit up that he realized he was still inside Hongjoong when his lover hissed from the oversensitivity.

“Sorry, baby.” He whispered as he pulled the rest of the way out. He removed the condom and threw it away.

“Want me to take this off you?” Seonghwa motioned to the tights. Hongjoong nodded.

“I already have to clean them.”

“I’m doing laundry tomorrow. We’ll stick these in there.” Seonghwa carefully set them down on the floor and used the tissues next to his bed to wipe down Hongjoong’s stomach as well as the tip of his dick that had some leftover cum on it. He removed his boxers and jeans then laid down next to Hongjoong, immediately bringing him into his arms.

“It’s going to be so hard to fall asleep without you in my arms.” Seonghwa admitted.

“Me too. You keep me warm and safe.”

It was so painful to think about but it was their reality. Seonghwa had called his parents the night before and while his mother was thankfully doing better, he still wanted to send more money to make sure they have enough for her treatments. They weren’t asking for it, on the contrary they wanted to return the amount he gave them but he refused.

He was debating on getting a second job just so he can send his parents money but then also have enough to visit Hongjoong at the end of December through January. That was his plan but he was going to keep it to himself in case anyone told him not to do it, not to overwork himself. He was willing to do anything to make sure everyone he loves was satisfied and healthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. gentleppl, IM SEEING SKZ TODAYYYYYYYYYYY FUCK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> also, im here to report that for the next week to a month, i am a san bias. my yunho bias month has passed and san has taken over. i dont make the rules.
> 
> translations:  
> 1\. 사랑행~(saranghaeng~): cute way of saying i love you  
> 2\. 사랑한다 (saranghanda): i love you
> 
> okay so about the i love yous. we can discuss this. in modern relationships (lmao im basing this off of my friend whos been dating a guy for less than a month and already said i love you to each other), they say i love you in, like, the first date so i didn't make it such a big deal that they've already said i love you bc some relationships just throw that out there really 'early'. it doesn't mean that it doesn't still hold its weight, it just means that not every first i love you has to be during an incredibly romantic situation with roses and shit and all that. i hope it didn't throw you off. also remember they've been talking for close to four months now....i D K OKay it felt right and im sticking to it
> 
> love you MWUAH
> 
> ps. almost forgot to name this chapter again before i posted 🙄🙄


	14. call me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 2,210  
> twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> don't hate me (:(:(:(:

The dreaded day finally came where Hongjoong had to leave. It was 7 in the morning and Chris, bless his heart, agreed to take them both to the train station. Seonghwa and Hongjoong refused to not have some form of skin to skin contact. 

They spent the entire night making love, touching each other in all the right places, trying to commit the other to memory. They fucked with the lights on to see each other better, they fucked on the couch, in the kitchen that morning, in the shower. There isn’t any spot in that apartment that won’t remind Seonghwa of the time he fucked Hongjoong there.

Now, standing in front of the line that Hongjoong must go through to get to his train, Seonghwa was crying. Hongjoong was crying. Chris was crying but behind them where he stood to give them some space and privacy. 

Seonghwa and Hongjoong hugged each other tightly. 

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Seonghwa whimpered into his ear.

“Me too, Hwa, fuck, I hate this.” Hongjoong sniffed.

“I don’t think I thanked you enough for coming to see me. I was really upset about everything that happened but when I saw you in front of me and when I held you, it was like, _it gave me strength to keep going. I wasn’t as upset anymore.”_ Hongjoong didn’t think it was possible to cry more.

“I love you so much. I’m so glad your mom’s doing better. Right?”

“Yeah, she’s back at home now, resting.” They held each other for a few more seconds until the announcer gave them a 15 minutes warning to board the train.

“You should go, babe. Don’t miss your train.” Seonghwa kissed Hongjoong’s neck a few times before pulling back just enough to peck his lips. Maybe they made out gently in the middle of the train station for 20 seconds but no one said anything. Chris just looked away and pretended he didn’t see it.

“I’ll call you as soon as I make it there, okay?” Seonghwa nodded. It was so hard to let go. Hongjoong didn’t know when would be the next time they’d get to be together. Hongjoong may have impulsively gone to Boston but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt his wallet, especially with the hotel that he didn’t stay in at all.

“Video call me. I already miss seeing your face.” Seonghwa kissed his cheek before pulling away enough to allow Chris to hug him as well.

“Bye, Chris. Thank you so much for everything. Without you, I would’ve been lost in Boston trying to find him.” Hongjoong giggled through his tears. Chris chuckled and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back for a few seconds before pulling away.

“It was so fun having you here. I know you made Mars really happy and he’s going to miss you a lot. Felix and I are going to miss you too.” He pouted. Hongjoong breathed out a laugh and sniffed. He turned back to Seonghwa and hugged him one last time. Seonghwa dropped a kiss on the top of his head before Hongjoong leaned up to kiss his lips one more time. He really had to go.

“Okay, so,” He didn’t know how to leave, how to say goodbye for now.

“Don’t say bye.” Seonghwa begged him. “Please.” Hongjoong shook his head and waved instead.

“I love you.”

”I love you, Joongie.”

”Get home safe, Hongjoongie.” Chan waved at him back and then Hongjoong was getting in that line. Every time he’d turn back, Mars and Chris were still there. Seonghwa had brought a face mask to put on after he left to hide the tears in his face but when Hongjoong turned for the last time before he walked too far to see them, he pulled down his mask and blew him a kiss. Hongjoong blew one at him and tried to smile at him. They’ll see each other again. They will.

It only took him half a day to start looking for another job. Seonghwa was serious about it. He paid his rent then sent the rest of his money to his parents. He needed more. He had a month and a half to do it. 

But it was hard when he had a full time job already. Getting another full time job wouldn’t be practical for him…at least not the kind where he has to physically be there. He looked for jobs where he could work from home. He would take anything. Oh…a dog walker? A dog sitter? There are apps for that? Sign him the fuck up.

“And then Yunho came over ‘cause him and Mingi had a little fight. They’re so stupid for each other and it’s both sad and cute at the same time. I had Yunho crying on my couch and Mingi crying over voice messages he was sending me. They both felt bad like what am I supposed to do then?” It was a rhetorical question as he ranted to Seonghwa over the phone but it was met with utter silence.

“Mars?” Hongjoong sighed. Mars kept doing this to him recently, falling asleep while on the phone with him. It was his day off and it was only 8pm. Why is he so damn tired?

“Mars?” Hongjoong tried one more time before sighing again and hanging up. It was getting on his nerves just a bit. Seonghwa would be the one to ask to talk and then he’d go silent, barely responding back to Hongjoong, barely talking about his own day or week and then ends up falling asleep on him. Hongjoong felt like they haven’t had a decent call lately and it was stressing him out. Maybe it sounded hypocritical because Hongjoong would fall asleep to his voice when they’d call but the thing is, he told him that beforehand. Seonghwa always apologized and said he didn’t mean to and would promise that he wouldn’t fall asleep again but he always did.

He felt like to Seonghwa, the magic was gone now. They met, they fucked, now what? He felt like Seonghwa didn’t really care for the relationship already and they’ve only been boyfriends for 15 days. He hated that he felt like this. He felt guilty for thinking like this but he couldn’t help it.

He almost expected Seonghwa to call him back or text him before Hongjoong went to bed himself but it was 3am and Hongjoong didn’t wait anymore before falling asleep upset.

When he’d wake up at noon the next day, he still heard nothing from him. Why was this happening? It really upset him to the point where he wanted to go back to Boston just to ask him what the hell was going on.

At this point, Hongjoong was getting pissed. He dropped his phone back down on his night table and went to get ready for the day. He’s sure someone would be free to hang out with him and get his mind off of things. 

He looked through his closet for what to wear and found his very ripped jeans. Oh, what if he wore those fishnets underneath them? He grabbed the jeans and went through his dresser to find the fishnets. He slowly touched them and he was reminded of when he modeled these for Mars, when he let him fuck him in just those. Whatever. He put them on with no underwear and quickly put his jeans on before he got hard from remembering that time. Oh, he liked how it liked. 

He took out his phone to take some photos and nearly hit himself when he immediately opened up his discord to send a photo to Mars. No. He’s upset with him, don’t forget that.

Instead, he edited the lighting and posted it on his page and captioned it: ‘the memories these fishnets give me…Hypocrite.  


“I know, hyung. We’ll remember that from now on.” 

They settled on and around Hongjoong’s couch and ate on the coffee table.

“By the way, Joong, what are we doing for your birthday?” Wooyoung asked him. That’s right, his birthday was in two days.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to have a party at my house. I don’t want to have to clean anything.”

“We can just go to a club then. We’ll have a nice late lunch and then fuck shit up at Hygh Point.” San suggested. Hygh Point was _the_ club to go, at least for them. They had male and female dancers, the music was actually good, and they always had pretty good experiences there.

“Does that sound good to you, Joong? We can do anything. It’s your birthday after all.” Jongho told him.

“Yeah! That’s fine. Lunch and Hygh Point.” Hongjoong got distracted at the feel of his phone vibrating once, then twice, then three times as he got three messages. He waited for a duller moment in the conversation to take his phone out and read them.

_mars.psh: shit baby i fell asleep again im sorry. i arrived super late to work too  
mars.psh: i saw your photo on ig. what memories are you thinking about ???  
mars.psh: and why the broken heart? ☹_

Hongjoong scoffed lightly and put his phone back in his pocket. He should know why. 

He managed to ignore the urge to respond as he hung out with his friends, as they tried to lift his spirits. For the most part it worked, that’s until they left and he was alone again at 10 pm.

He checked his phone that he threw onto his bed after he got another spam of messages two hours ago.

_mars.psh: baby?  
mars.psh: your friends are uploading photos with you on their stories so i know you’re home  
mars.psh: am i bothering you?_

Then he got a new one as he was reading those.

_mars.psh: joongie it’s 10…will you call me tonight?_

Call him for what? Just for him to fall asleep on him again? Hongjoong hated that he was feeling like this. He didn’t want to be upset with him but he couldn’t help it.

_joongie98: yeah i was busy with the boys. you should go to sleep though_

_mars.psh: oh okay. but we’re not gonna call…?_

Hongjoong could feel tears of frustration welling up in his eyes. He wanted to call but he didn’t want Seonghwa to not talk to him at all even when he claims he’s listening to him because he’s fucking not.

_joongie98: not tonight mars…go to sleep. don’t wake up late tomorrow_

He saw as Seonghwa typed then erased it then typed and erased it a few more times until he finally sent something.

_mars.psh: okay..i wont… i love you joongie. goodnight <3 _

Hongjoong let out a deep breath as the tears finally fell. He put his phone down and tried to keep his breathing steady. This is so stupid. He’s rejecting his own boyfriend from hearing his voice. Why is he the one crying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😬😬😬😬
> 
> so, uh,....
> 
> okay so the concert was fanfuckingtastic lmao chan was sick so he kept coughing but bro they were all so amazing and jisung, my dude, the legend, the perfect all rounder, love him to death.  
> my aunt was supposed to pick us up after the show but she fell asleep. when i got back to my car at her house, i remembered i forgot to lock the doors so im vv responsible.  
> im supposed to do hw but i've already decided that i wasn't going to do one of them bc im that lazy
> 
> alSO ya know how i said there's like 3-4 chapters left??? there might be a little more because im an angsty bitch
> 
> okay LOVE YOU MWUAH
> 
> also, if i call chris chan jsut ignore it okay i kept having to go back and change it. it is what it is and u kno who im talking about right????? ok cool thnx


	15. backspace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 3,168  
> twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> yall are gonna fucking hate meeeeeeeeee

It was two nights later that Seonghwa was walking home at night from where he was dog sitting until 10 pm. He definitely should not have been there until that late but the owners had an emergency or something and came late. They paid him extra however so he really couldn’t complain. It’s just he had a double shift tomorrow at the store and he’d be working from 9 am until 9 pm. He really wanted to be in bed by 9 the latest.

He sighed. It was getting colder nowadays but not yet cold enough to see his breath.

He took out his phone and hovered over his discord. Hongjoong hasn’t been texting him as much lately. He didn’t know why. He’s been checking the chat constantly all day to see if he responded to the last 3 messages he sent him but he hasn’t. There was no notification which means he didn’t respond still so he shouldn’t bother checking them.

Instead, he went on Instagram to see if he could see what he was doing. But what he saw made him stop walking. It was his birthday today?...Why didn’t he tell him that? He saw his friend’s stories and the photos they were posting. Hongjoong looked amazing because of course he did. He looked happy, he was smiling and laughing and hugging his friends. In one photo taken at a restaurant, his phone was in his hands, probably around the time Seonghwa texted him. So he saw it…he must have…why didn’t he respond?

It was nearly 11 pm when he arrived home and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why didn’t Hongjoong tell him it was his birthday today?

He tried calling him. No answer. So he texted him.

_mars.psh: joongie, it’s your birthday today?...you didn’t tell me. i would’ve wished you a happy birthday…_

Of course he didn’t get a response. He called again. No answer. He sighed and sat down on his bed. Why did it feel like Hongjoong was mad at him for something? He tried thinking to when this started. A few days ago, really, he just started being cold to him out of nowhere.

He tried calling him a few more times within the hour, fighting sleep, determined to wish him a happy birthday before the night ended. 

But at midnight is when he finally picked up his phone.

“Hello?!” He heard Hongjoong yelled over some loud music. Seonghwa for some reason felt nervous then. 

“Joongie, can you hear me?”

“Hold on! I can’t hear. Hey, guys! I’m going outside for a moment!” Seonghwa heard his friends respond to him and then slowly the volume of the music went down as Hongjoong went outside.

“Okay, hello?”

“Joongie, it’s me.”

“Oh, hi, Mars.” Something in Mars’ chest dropped at the change in Hongjoong’s tone.

“H-hi…um, it’s your birthday today?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Oh…” Why was it so awkward now? “You didn’t tell me…”

“Oh, well, sorry. Must have slipped my mind.”

“Mm…”

“Is there something else you want to say or can I go back now?”

“…Hongjoong, did I do something wrong?” Seonghwa closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. Now wasn’t the time. He felt bad about asking him this on his birthday but he needed to know now that he finally had him on the phone. Hongjoong was silent for a moment which made Seonghwa think the worst.

“I think you did.” What did that mean?

“W-what did I do?” He heard Hongjoong sigh frustratingly and it made his heart drop.

“You’re making me feel like you don’t want to be with me anymore.” What? Hold on, fucking what? What did he to make him think that?

“What? When did I—”

“You’re constantly falling asleep on me and I’ll text you throughout the day but you won’t respond and when I ask you something when we’re calling, you don’t respond either because you’re fucking asleep!”

“You fall asleep on me all the time, though.” He really didn’t see why that was so bad of him.

“Yeah, but the thing is you know I do that. I tell you all the time that I want to fall asleep to your voice. But with you, you tell me you won’t sleep, that you want to talk to me and you promise me you’re listening to me but you’re not! You’re falling asleep on me to the point where you don’t wake up when I call your name!” Seonghwa felt frozen as Hongjoong yelled. He could hear his voice getting thicker as he fought tears.

“I ask you what you think I should do with this or that and you don’t respond. I try to wake you up and if you do wake up, you still don’t answer me properly and I just…do you even want to be with me anymore? Like, now that we’ve met and now that you’ve fucked me, you don’t care about me anymore.” Seonghwa gasped at that.

_“Hongjoong, I never would even dream of doing that to you. Do you really think so lowly of me?”_

“That’s the thing, now I’m starting to feel like I don’t know you. Not for real, at least. You never did this to me before we met in person but now you are. Is there something wrong with me? Did you lose interest in me?” Hongjoong was full on crying at this point and Seonghwa hated himself for it. 

“No! Hongjoong, no. I-I love you. So much. I miss you every day. I want to be with you every day. I’m sorry that I made you feel like I don’t care anymore. I do!”

“Well, you’re not showing me that really well.” Seonghwa sighed.

“Joong,”

“No, no. It’s my birthday right now. I’m out with my friends. I’m having a good time, finally. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

_“We’re going to have to, Hongjoong. I don’t want you thinking I don’t care about you because I do.”_

“Okay, then we’ll do it the next time you promise to not fall asleep when you call me.” That felt like a kick to his chest and then Hongjoong was hanging up on him. Shit. Shit, what the fuck? He fucked up. How could he fuck up like this?

Seonghwa stood up and began pacing, trying to get that sinking feeling to go away but it wasn’t. It kept dragging him in until he broke down. He sat on the floor next to his bed and cried. He hadn’t cried like this since he first got to America and had a breakdown thinking that this was the wrong choice.

He cared so fucking much about Hongjoong and he’s already fucked up on showing him that. 

Hongjoong woke up with a raging headache. After his call with Seonghwa, he may have drank more than he normally would to the point where Jongho had to carry him back home and even stayed the night to make sure he was okay in the morning.

“Joong?” He called for him softly as he peeked into his room. Jongho left the door open so he could hear when Hongjoong woke up. 

“Mm?” Even just humming like that hurt his throat and his head. He coughed then groaned as it hurt all over again.

“Here, buddy. I got you some aspirin and water. Do you need to use the bathroom first?” Hongjoong laid on his back with his eyes closed and his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. He wanted to pee so bad but if he moved, he might just die. 

“Okay, I’ll just carry you, okay? Don’t you dare throw up on me.” He set the medicine and water down on the night table and slowly picked him up, making sure to not jostle his head too much. Hongjoong groaned again and rested his head on his shoulder until he was set down on the floor. Jongho continued to hold him until he was steady on his feet.

“You got it? Do you need me to hold you up?” Hongjoong shook his head carefully and took a few steps towards the toilet. 

“Okay, I’m letting go now. You got it?” Once he was sure that Hongjoong wouldn’t fall over, he turned around and busied himself with changing his bed sheets. He just wanted Hongjoong to lay on fresh ones.

“Jjong,” he whirled around at the sound of his name. Hongjoong was in the middle of brushing his teeth but he still called out for him.

“Yeah?” 

“…thanks.” Jongho smiled and nodded. 

_”Just do it, Hwa.”_ Chan told him gently as he watched Seonghwa stare at the phone in his hands for the last 5 minutes. They were at Chan and Felix’s place after Seonghwa called him and told him everything.

_”I-I can’t. He was really upset with me.”_

_“You think this will make it any better? To just ignore each other until God knows when?”_ Seonghwa sighed and willed his tears to go away.

_“Seonghwa, I’ll admit to you, I’ve fought with Felix before. We live in the same apartment and there was a time where we literally did not talk for 3 days straight. I was the one who broke and talked to him and I’ve never seen him cry that hard afterwards. He thought I was going to break up with him or kick him out or move away or something. The key point to a healthy relationship is communication. Don’t leave him hanging. You have to make things right.”_

_“But, hyung…what if I can’t make things right? What if I keep messing up and I just end up hurting him again?”_ Chan shrugged.

_”Honestly, you never know. The only thing you can do is try your damn hardest to give him strength and not take that away from him. Long distance relationships are always hard. But not impossible, Hwa. If you want to give him some space, don’t let it last for too long or else he’ll start to think you won’t come back to him.”_

He had a point, several points but Seonghwa felt like he was a coward. He just couldn’t do it. He deleted the few letters he had written to send him and he set his phone back down. 

_”Not today.”_ Chan just nodded and put a hand on his shoulder and that was that. 

Hongjoong was feeling indifferent. Seonghwa hadn’t tried to reach out for him at all today. It was 10 pm and usually even if Seonghwa hadn’t texted him all day, he’d still be asking to call. But he got nothing. Hongjoong opened his discord and began typing.

_joongie98: so are we g_

He sighed and backspaced. He can’t be the one to text him first. He can wait it out. Mars should be the one to reach out first. Right? 

_joongie98: mars are you_

Backspace. He just put his phone down and curled into his bed, thankful for Jongho who put fresh new sheets on them.

He was sad. Really sad. He felt guilty for the way he remembered yelling at Seonghwa over the phone but at the same time, he had every right to be upset. But, was he _too_ upset? Should he apologize first? He couldn’t stand the radio silence.

He jumped up when his phone vibrated but he frowned when he saw it was just a notification that Seonghwa posted on Instagram. Wait, he posted?

He clicked on it quickly. He took a while to read through the long paragraph written in Hangul but when he got through it, he opened his discord immediately. 

_mars.psh: i hope you don’t mind i cut and bleached my hair. you can’t see it because i don’t want it to be the first thing you see of me. i hope you’re reading this because i miss you and i’m sorry. i want to give you space but i’m scared to give you too much. i don’t know what to do. please let me know. i love you._

_joongie98: i don’t want space. i just want you here with me. i want you to talk to me and be with me but i just don’t understand why you’re acting so weirdly with me lately. i don’t want to apologize for being upset because i can’t help the way i feel but maybe i’m sorry for yelling at you the way i did.  
joongie98: if you can call me, we can talk…_

Hongjoong looked at his phone nervously until a minute later, Seonghwa was calling him. 

“Hi,” Hongjoong voice was small as he greeted him.

“Hey,” Hongjoong closed his eyes as his deeper voice rang through his head.

“So…you bleached your hair, huh?” 

“Yeah, I did. Channie hyung is a bad influence, I guess.” Hongjoong hummed a little laugh then it went silent for a few seconds.

“Listen,”  
“Joongie,” They spoke at the same time.

“You first.” Hongjoong told him.

“Okay, um,…I thought a lot about what you said,” Hongjoong cringed a little as he remembered his words. They were definitely too harsh, right?

“And, I don’t blame you for being upset with me. I’m upset with myself too. You deserve better than what I’ve given you.” Hongjoong could already feel the tears threatening to spill.

“I can tell you why I’ve been so tired. I really haven’t been trying to fall asleep on you on purpose. I never ever wanted you to feel like I’m not interesting in what you have to say or anything like that, Hongjoong. I want to know about your day, I want you to tell me what made you happy or sad or anxious. I want to know because I care so much about you and I love you. Please, I don’t want you to ever think I don’t.” Seonghwa spoke it in English because he wanted Hongjoong to fully understand what he was trying to tell him. 

“So, why have you been falling asleep so much or not answering my texts?” Hongjoong sniffed as quietly as he could but it blasted through Seonghwa’s ears.

“I got another job. A second one.”

“A second job? Seonghwa, you’re already working so much at the store. How could you possibly work another job on top of that?” Hongjoong sat up on his bed, not being able to stay still anymore. 

“I’m trying to do, like, dog sitting. Dog walking. I don’t know, I thought it’d be easy and for the most part, it is. I only do it on my days off though.”

“You’re supposed to be resting on your days off, Hwa, not working even more.” Hongjoong rubbed at his eyes in frustration. “Why the hell would you get a second job to begin with?” Seonghwa sighed.

“For a few things. I wanted to send more money to my parents and I was left with not a lot. So I got this job and it pays pretty well. Um,…I wanted to…to go to you in December, so…that’s also why I got this job. That was supposed to be a secret but I want you to know that now.” Hongjoong was quiet. Wow, did he feel like a royal asshole. 

“So, that’s why I’m falling asleep a lot.” Seonghwa’s voice was very low, almost like he was expecting Hongjoong to be even more upset with him now but how Hongjoong be upset? At least at him. He was more upset with himself. God, he was such an asshole. Seonghwa was such a selfless person and he deserved better than Hongjoong who complains because his boyfriend is tired from working two fucking jobs. 

“I’m sorry.” Hongjoong couldn’t keep quiet anymore when Seonghwa apologized to him.

“Don’t say sorry to me! I…you shouldn’t be sorry. I should be sorry. I’m a fucking asshole.” Hongjoong cried over the phone, cracking Seonghwa’s heart right in the middle. 

“You, God, Seonghwa, why are you like this?” 

“…what do you mean?”

“You’re, like, so selfless but so dumb at the same time.” Seonghwa didn’t know how to react to that.

“Oh…”

“No! I don’t mean that in a bad way,”

“You should called me dumb, though.”

“Because you are! You don’t realize that you don’t have to do everything by yourself. You keep doing things because you think you have to but you forget that there’s so many people who can help you or make it easier for you. You don’t have to overwork yourself when you are already overworked, I mean, I don’t know, Hwa. I just…I don’t want you to be hurting so much.” 

_“I chose to do this, though, Hongjoong. I want to support my parents at this time and I also want to see you. I also need to pay rent and buy food and all that. It’s not just because of the things that I want to do._

“Hwa,” Hongjoong whined. They went silent for a moment as they both thought about what to say next.

“Maybe we need a break from each other.” Seonghwa couldn’t believe he was the one to say that. He already regretted it. 

Hongjoong felt like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t just say that, right?

“W-what do you mean?”

“Joongie,” Seonghwa let out a short cry before he continued. “I can’t be the best boyfriend right now when I’m working so much and trying to make ends meet for everyone including myself. I don’t want to disappoint you. I need to get my shit together first and then maybe, if you still want me, we can talk about us again.” Hongjoong couldn’t believe it.

“S-seong…”

“I don’t want to, baby. Trust me, I really don’t but I’m hurting you.” Seonghwa had to pause as he felt a sob coming through. Hongjoong didn’t know what to say because he knew he was right. 

“D-do you love me, Joongie?” How could he not?

“Of course, I do, Mars. So, so much.” Hongjoong sobbed. 

“Do you think you’ll still love me next year?” Fuck, next year? He could love him for way longer than that, he’s sure.

“I’ll still love you for a long, long time.” 

“Then we have nothing to worry about, right? When I figure myself out and everything, we can get back together, right?” But he wanted him now.

“R-right.” They were silent save for the cries that they tried to control.

“Joong, I’m really sorry. I feel like this is my fault. If I just…if I were just better, maybe we wouldn’t have to do this.”

“Don’t, don’t put yourself down like that. It takes two, right?” Seonghwa didn’t really know what that meant.

“I guess…”

“Hwa, I love you, please don’t forget that. But I really need to cry right now and I don’t want you to hear me.” Hongjoong’s face was turning red from how hard he was trying to keep it all in.

“Me too, Joongie. I…I still want us to talk when we can…or when I can.”

“Me, too. Please don’t forget about me.”

“Don’t forget about me, either.”

“I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so here's my head space
> 
> it's 2 am and i'm posting this after thinking i wasn't going to post at all because i've been procrastinating on doing my work and it all caught up to me and i have a giant project to do and i thought i could finish the design part of it in one day but boy was i wrong and now here we are. i finished writing this chapter like 2 days ago and i haven't written the next yet and i don't know when i will so bear with me for this week cause i am: stressed. okay thank you
> 
> so like um...seongjoong have been fucking LOUD lately right??????? i fucking love it listen hongjoong always has heart eyes for seonghwa like always and im living ok im gonna go sleep cause i need to wake up in 3 hours
> 
> LOVE YOU MWUAH


	16. x-mas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 1,769  
> twitter: skz_jpeg

Hongjoong was worried sick about Seonghwa. He kept up the pattern of not texting back throughout the day until he got home and then fell asleep on him. It got to the point where Hongjoong didn’t want to be the reason Seonghwa tried to stay awake at night but then he’d wake up in increments to text him asking why he hadn’t done so all day.

Seonghwa would text him at 10 pm saying he’s home and they could talk. If Hongjoong wouldn’t respond, he’d ask again at 10:30. If Hongjoong still didn’t respond, Seonghwa would ask if he was okay for the next 2 hours and Hongjoong wanted him to just fucking go to sleep not try to stay awake for him.

_joongie98: go to sleep, 바보야~~_

_mars.psh: i miss talking to you though_

_joongie98: but you need to sleep. you work every single day i’m surprised you’re still going_

_mars.psh: i have to. i have goals to meet._

_joongie98: make one of those goals getting a full 8 hours of sleep every night_

_mars.psh: that is too much to ask for_

_joongie98: it shouldn’t be. go to sleeeeep_

_mars.psh: can you at least send me a video of you saying goodnight?? please??_

Hongjoong sighed but opened his camera anyways and swiped to record.

“Goodnight, 바보야.” Hongjoong giggled softly. “I hope you have a relatively easy day tomorrow and that you eat all three meals and snacks in between and lots and lots of water and that Daisie doesn’t pee on your leg again.” Hongjoong giggled again. “Goodnight, Hwa. Sleep well.”

Seonghwa took a moment to reply but when he did, it was so thank him.

_mars.psh: thank you. i really needed to hear your voice today. i’m sorry i can’t send you a video rn. i don’t look the best and i don’t want you to worry._

Too late for that, Hongjoong was always worried about him.

_mars.psh: sleep well, too joongie <3 _

Hongjoong sent him a heart in return and by 11:07 pm, their daily conversation ended. If you could even call it that. 

It really sucked. Hongjoong missed him so damn much. He missed waking up to a good morning message from him, he missed texting him and immediately getting a response back, he missed Seonghwa asking to call and actually talking to him until Hongjoong falls asleep. He also missed waking up next to him, messing with him until Hongjoong ends up on his hands and knees, getting fucked or sucking him dry, he missed seeing him smile and not looking so tired.

It’s only been 2 weeks since they’ve decided to take a break. It almost feels like nothing’s changed since before because Hongjoong’s still silently begging for Seonghwa’s attention that he just can’t give to him at the moment. He needed to back off just a little more but Seonghwa made that hard for him. 

Mars always texted him especially if Hongjoong hadn’t texted him yet. He wasn’t the best at responding anymore but he would always send him a message every day.

This went on for several weeks and before Hongjoong knew it, it was Christmas Eve. Like he did every single year, he bought his presents with just 1-2 days left and had spent the entirety of Christmas Eve wrapping them up while video calling Seonghwa. They hadn’t video called in over a month by this point.

“And then for Uncle Jo, he’s getting some nice fuzzy socks. Listen, I never see him except for the holidays. I don’t know what he likes.” Hongjoong said as he saw the judgment on Seonghwa’s face.

“That’s fine. I’m sure he’ll like it. Everyone likes fuzzy socks.”

“Except for…” Hongjoong stopped and pointed at himself.

“Yeah, you, the nudist.” Hongjoong giggled because, yes, he was currently naked under his robe. He felt like it would be too much if he answered the video call as exposed as he was when they were still on a break.

Hongjoong shoved the socks and a half-assed Christmas letter in a Santa themed gift bag and shoved a hand full of tissue paper over it and called it a fucking day.

“There. I’m done. All 16 presents, my god.” Seonghwa chuckled as he watched Hongjoong lean on the couch. He was sitting on the floor so he could use the coffee table to wrap a few presents.

“You did it!” Seonghwa cheered for him making Hongjoong smile. He really did miss seeing him smile and all that. Seonghwa was laying on his bed on his first day off after working nonstop for nearly 2 months, dressed in a comfortable hoodie and boxers, hiding under his blankets to shield himself from the cold that seeped through his windows. His apartment wasn’t very insulated, he quickly found that out last winter but he lived through it.

Seonghwa’s roots had grown out enough for him to slap on a darker blonde or a lighter brown over it to blend it well enough. Gotta love boxed hair dye. Hongjoong thought he liked this hair color on him the best.

“So, what are your plans for the holidays?” Hongjoong asked Seonghwa.

“Hmm, gonna watch all the Christmas movies on my list.” 

“Mm. You’re not gonna spend it with family or anything?”

“Well, the family friends I moved in with invited me for a Christmas morning brunch but I might not go.”

“What? Why not? You shouldn’t spend Christmas alone. You should go!” Hongjoong frowned.

“I wasn’t ever really that close with them especially when they moved to America. I kinda just want to rest before I have to start working again.” Hongjoong frowned.

“When do you work?”

“Not sure yet.” Hongjoong was confused.

“How do you not know?”

“Hyunjin talked to the store owner about me working too much and so they gave me a paid vacation but I don’t feel like that’s fair.”

“I think it is! If they offer you free money, Hwa, take it. Take it and run.” Seonghwa chuckled and shook his head. 

“Nah, maybe I’ll rest for another day or two but I’ll be back soon.” Hongjoong huffed.

“I thought you said your mother was fully recovered now.”

“She is.”

“Then why are you so insistent on working so much still?” Seonghwa sighed seeing Hongjoong upset at him again.

“We’ve talked about this, Joongie. It’s a personal choice.”

“It’s a dumb choice.” Hongjoong muttered. Seonghwa pretended he didn’t hear that.

“I finally went out and bought Home Alone 1 and 2 so I’ll watch those over and over again until I grow tired of them.” Seonghwa said, standing up to put the first movie in.

“Sounds. Like. Fun. Have a blast, Hwa. Make some snow angels with your blankets. Forget the world exists. Stay indoors.”

“I will, Joongie. Though it feels like it’s not any warmer in here than out there.” He said as he jumped back into his bed once the DVD was in and quickly covered himself up with his blankets.

“It shouldn’t be that much colder over there than it is here. Why are you so cold? I’m literally naked right now.”

“The heater in this apartment doesn’t work so well and the insulation sucks.” He remembered Chan telling him this when he visited him a few days ago. He learned a few new words.

“That’s not good.” Hongjoong frowned. If they weren’t on a break, Hongjoong might joke about how Seonghwa should move in with him because his heating is incredible. But he couldn’t.

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I went through last winter without getting sick so I should be fine this time.

“Still,” Hongjoong pouted as he began cleaning up the extra present wrapping materials.

Hongjoong was stressing, just a little bit. His uncles and aunts and grandparents were asking him about his life and school even though he’s been out of school for almost a year now and they always, always ask him the same things every time he sees them and it stresses him out. Just take the 3 dollar fluffy socks he bought them and leave him alone.

 _joongie98: i’m hungry and tired and wanna go home and cuddle into my sheets already. merry Christmas_

Hongjoong sent to Seonghwa that morning before he forgot. It was noon now and Christmas brunch had ended and they would be opening presents soon. 

_”Oh, Joong, go get the scissors from the kitchen. And bring a trash bag so we can put the gift wrap in.”_ His mother pushed him towards the kitchen even though Hongjoong was already intending on doing what she asked him. It’s okay. He brought the items into the living room and sat down in the only seat available which was the arm of the couch next to his sister.

“This should be fun.” She commented but before Hongjoong could ask her what she meant, his mother clapped her hands and proceeded to make her annual Christmas/end of the year speech.

Hongjoong barely listened because she always brings up the same points as well as she said it all in Korean and Hongjoong had trouble keeping up when she spoke so fast. But he for sure understood her last few words.

 _”So without any further ado, everyone, my first present goes to my dear son, Hongjoongie.”_ Hongjoong smiled when she grinned at him and he stood up, prepared to take whatever present she handed to him but he walked all the way over to her and she was still just standing there and smiling.

“What?” Hongjoong chuckled nervously. 

_”Hongjoong-ah, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t tell me about Seonghwa.”_ Wait…did he hear that right? Is he freaking out right now?

“S-seonghwa?”

 _”I had to hear about him from San.”_ She said like she was offended she was the last to hear about Hongjoong’s love life.

“O-oh. Sorry?” Why would San tell her about him though? Why would she bring him up now?

_”Well, dear, I suppose I can’t be too upset anymore. He really is such a sweet guy.”_

“Yeah…wait, what? Mom, you’re being weird.” Hongjoong took one step back and looked at her.

_”A few days ago, San and Seonghwa let me know about their little plan to bring Seonghwa up to New York so you can meet again. And, so, this isn’t my present to you but more of Seonghwa’s present for you. A part of it, right, Seonghwa?” She looked somewhere behind Hongjoong but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. He’s still dreaming, right? He overslept or some shit? He’s not really…he’s not really _there,_ …right?_

__”Yes, Mrs. Kim.”_ Oh, shit. He did fucking not._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so several little thigns but first
> 
> translations:   
> 1\. 바보야 (baboya): idiot/dummy
> 
> okay so first, soz for the Sad Boi Hours. hoep you can forgive me  
> second, my prof liked my design but he tHOUght we could finish the building of the project by saturday hahahahahaha saT urDAY ahahahaha funny funny not gonna happen  
> third, i spray painted something and the force i used to do that ruined my hands. this happens every time i carry or push or pull something really heavy for a long time or hold down something like a spray paint bottle where afterwards, it's painful to even write or press down on the hand soap bottle. like my fingers get extremely weak and i feel the strain on my wrists too idk it's weird.  
> fourth, i have a dumb stupid ass disgusting crush on someone. a boY. ewwwwwwwwwwwww. jk but like why nOW he's so cute yall ugh  
> fifth, i had to write a 10 pt manifesto for monday and i had every intention on not doing it lmao but i started writing at 1 am and finished at 2 am then i finished writing this chapter and maybe it's went a little too fast bc i really wanted to ramble to yall buttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt idk ijdfigm
> 
> okay i need to sleep so bad  
> I LOVE YOU MWUAH i'll answer your comments from last chapter tomorrow <3<3<3<3


	17. saniekyuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 1,522  
> twitter: skz_jpeg

It wasn’t an easy time in Seonghwa’s life. It was probably the hardest. He had so many things he wanted to do to the point where he’d get disappointed with himself if he couldn’t achieve them. He knew him and Hongjoong were on a break but he still tried to be a better partner for him, almost like he wanted or needed to prove to himself that he can make this work. He couldn’t admit to himself that maybe he needed to focus on solely himself for a moment.

When he got the call that his mother was doing great, that her recent medical examination came back with flying colors, he was ecstatic. It also meant that all the money he was working for to send to them could stay with him. With also meant, he had enough money to quit one of his jobs. Surprisingly though, he decided to quit his retail job. Maybe it was an asshole move to quit right around the holidays but he needed to be selfish for once. With the new job he had, he could make his own schedule and accept as many jobs as he wanted. Also, he got to be around dogs. A giant plus.

For next few days, he thought about how he could surprise Hongjoong. He almost just told him because he couldn’t contain his excitement but he wanted it to be as special as it was when Hongjoong surprised him. So, he did the same thing Hongjoong did and asked his friends for help. The first person he messaged was San. He didn’t know which one he could confide in but he was lucky that San was willing to keep it a secret and help him.

He took a deep breath before doing what he was about to do and after looking through his photos on his own page, he thought it’ll be worth it. He made his Instagram public and followed San before messaging him.

_mars.psh: hey, san! we haven’t met yet but my name is mars. i met Hongjoong a few months ago and he came to boston to see me 2 months ago.  
mars.psh: this is a little awkward for me but i came up with enough money to go to new york for 2 weeks. do you think you can help me surprise him?_

The response was almost instantaneous.

 _saniekyuu: !!! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! You took your page off private o: O: O: O:O:_  
saniekyuu: but hell yeah i’ll help!! do you have a plan??  
saniekyuu: b tw you’re like super attractive. hongjoong’s a lucky boy

Seonghwa blushed at the compliment.

_mars.psh: oh thank you i actually don’t have a plan yet. i was hoping you can help me with that_

_saniekyuu: of course i can!!! what day were you thinking on getting here first off??_

_mars.psh: any day really. my new job isn’t strict_

_saniekyuu: what about the holidays?? You’re not seeing family??_

_mars.psh: my family lives in korea_

_saniekyuu: ☹☹ we will not let you spend the holidays alone!!! you think you can be here Christmas day?_

_mars.psh: yeah. i can travel Christmas eve and stay at a hotel._

_saniekyuu: nonsense!!! i’m sure Hongjoongie will let you stay with him_

_mars.psh: oh i don’t know if he told you but we’re kinda on a break right now…i’m not sure if he’d want me to stay at his place_

_saniekyuu: oh trust me. he would. i have a feeling you two will get back together as soon as you see each other anyways 😉_

Mars was hopeful for that too but it was up to Hongjoong and he didn’t want to pressure him by accepting him again.

_mars.psh: i’ll figure it out he ended up telling him._

_saniekyuu: anyways if i may, i can talk with joong’s mom and we can surprise him Christmas day!!! he’ll be so happy!!_

His mom?? Seonghwa wasn’t sure if he was ready to meet her just yet.

_saniekyuu: it’ll be so cute like in movies or tv shows where he doesn’t expect you to show up but then you do !!! romantic af do you agree??_

_mars.psh:…i suppose that does sound kinda cute_

_saniekyuu: !!! that’s because it is!!! okok i’ll text her right now and let you know what she says!!!_

If Seonghwa thought Hongjoong used a lot of exclamation points or questions marks, then San…oh boy. But he was so thankful for him because in the end, Seonghwa found himself shooting up out of his bed after video calling Hongjoong and finishing up the rest of his packing on Christmas Eve. His train left at 4 pm and it was currently 2. He really couldn’t wait to see him yet he felt so anxious.

What if Hongjoong didn’t want him back the way Seonghwa did? What if he found that in the last month and a half that they were better off as friends?

On the train ride to New York, Seonghwa was kept entertained by San and his two boyfriends. San had put him in a group chat that he named Op. Seongjoong UNITE with Wooyoung and Yeosang and they had been sending him memes for the entire ride. It was entertaining even if Seonghwa didn’t have anything to respond with.

When he arrived at the station, it didn’t take him long at all to find the three of them waiting for him. They came running towards him and hugged him like they’ve known each other for years.

“Mars! Welcome to New York!” San cheered.

“Are you hungry? We can eat.” It was around 8 in the evening and they were all starving.

“Yeah, I’m starving, really.” He said.

They were sure to include him in their conversations and didn’t talk over him as he grew comfortable around them.

“Did you figure everything out with your jobs and stuff?” Wooyoung asked him. Hongjoong hasn’t been giving them much details other than why they decided to take a break.

“Yeah, I actually quit one of them. The one I’ve been at the longest actually. This new one is pretty simple but I can make my own schedule and it pays well enough. Plus, I’m thinking of moving somewhere cheaper but better. I still need to figure that out too but if Hongjoong will want me back, I’ll give him the attention he deserves.” Seonghwa solidified that for himself and the others.

Wooyoung nodded approvingly.

“He’ll take you back. He really likes you. Like really likes you. He made you his phone background for both his home and lock screen and he still has it like that.” Mars blushed.

“I have him as my background too.” He admitted shyly. The boys aww-ed at him and didn’t help his blush.

“Okay, okay, let’s let him breathe.” Yeosang motioned for his boyfriends to relax. “Hongjoongie texted me a few minutes ago about tomorrow. We usually have a Christmas dinner just us friends. You’re, of course, welcome to that as well.” He told Seonghwa.

“Oh, thank you. If everything goes well, I’d love to go.”

“It will go well, Mars. Come on, be a little optimistic.” San pouted.

“S-sorry, I just don’t want to assume anything,”

“We’ll assume for you then. Everything will go perfectly fine. Now, let’s talk about tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Seonghwa swallowed the food he stuffed in his mouth and set down his fork.

“Okay, so, they will have a Christmas brunch. People will start arriving at around 10:30 so she told me to tell you to be there at around 9:30 to be safe. She promised you food and stuff so don’t worry you won’t starve.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“You can talk to her tomorrow about when you should come out and surprise him and all.” San smiled at him and then stuffed his face full of pasta.

“He’ll be really happy to see you. I guarantee it. Have you spoken to him today?”

“Yeah, before I went on the train. He’s working right now, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he should be out soon, actually.” Wooyoung checked his phone to see it was 8:56 pm. Hongjoong got out at 9. “Yep. It’s almost 9. We’ll take you to your hotel and pick you up in the morning around 9:15ish. Sound good?” Seonghwa nodded.

“Yes, that’s fine. Thank you guys by the way. I feel like I haven’t said that enough. It really means a lot to me.”

“Nonsense! We love a good love story.” San smirked.

They left the restaurant 30 minutes later and dropped Seonghwa off at the hotel.

“Don’t forget, 9:15 we’ll be here.” Wooyoung told him as he helped him take his suitcase out of the trunk of Yeosang’s car.

“I’ll be ready. Thank you guys again. It was nice meeting you all.”

“No problem! Sleep well. Don’t facetime Hongjoong. He’ll notice everything and question you until you break.” Yeosang told him before giving him a hug goodbye.

“I’ll try not to then.”

The hotel wasn’t anything special but he had a single double bed and a bathroom and hopefully, if everything went well, he won’t have to pay for another night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okokokok so i'm sorry it's short af but i'm dying to tell youuuuuuuu  
> ya girl got a date. ok so i downloaded a dating app (don't judge me, i was curious) and i met this guy and he's adorable af??? like so cute and i've literally never been on a date so i'm shitting bricks here. the only thing is he lives over 2 hours away from me :(((((( but also, i can't get my hopes up cause what if we don't click but damn it i want us to hes adorable okay soz 
> 
> i have so much to do i feel like but not really im just freaking out a lil pls deal with my wonky updates i'm not in a headspace rn to write im sorry
> 
> okay love you MWUAH


	18. surreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,407  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: spicy content towards the end***  
> *  
> *  
> *

Seonghwa was freaking out, rightfully so. He’s been pacing then sitting then standing then pacing over and over again in one of the spare bedrooms at Hongjoong’s mom’s house just waiting for the cue. She had told him that when they were opening presents, that he should be the first present Hongjoong ‘opens.’ She had also told him this would be after their finished eating. Seonghwa was growing restless.

She had given him a plate of food before hand and her number to text her if he needed something but he was too nervous to do anything. This spare bedroom had its own bathroom and Seonghwa has been nervous peeing. He couldn’t even flush in case people outside would hear it.

But finally, finally, he heard her yell out to everyone in Korean,

_”Okay, everyone! Let’s move to the living room to do presents!”_

Oh. Okay. Was he ready? Why was he so nervous? They’ve met before. They talk all the time. He shouldn’t be this nervous.

Still, he jumped a little when his phone vibrated and then vibrated again as he dug through his pocket to retrieve it.

He got one message from Hongjoong and another from his mother almost at the exact same time.

His mother wrote him: _we’ll be opening the presents soon. be ready_

Hongjoong wrote him: _merry christmas! I’ll be at my mom’s until around 2 and then i’ll be all yours until 6! we can video call later <3 _

Yeah, sure. Video call.

It almost felt like much too soon that Seonghwa overheard his mom claim that she had a present for Hongjoong. Very quietly, he opened the bedroom door and took a peek out into the hallway. No one was standing out there so he tiptoed out just in time to hear her say:

 _“And, so, this isn’t my present to you but more of Seonghwa’s present for you. A part of it, right, Seonghwa?”_ He smiled nervously at her and everyone else who turned to look at him except for Hongjoong.

 _“Yes, Mrs. Kim.”_ He pulled down the sleeves of his sweater nervously as Hongjoong slowly turned to face him.

“Are you…kidding me?” Seonghwa froze. Hongjoong wasn’t smiling, he just looked shocked. Was he upset that Seonghwa was there? Damn it, he knew this was a bad idea.

“H-hi.” Still he waved and smiled shyly at him and at everyone else.

 _”Hongjoong-ah, Seonghwa planned to come surprise you. He talked to San first and then messaged me about it. Isn’t that so cute?”_ She said that last part to the other family members who agreed. _”Go on, Joongie-yah. Aren’t you excited?”_ Aren’t you?

“I-I…I just messaged you. What the hell? I thought you were in Boston.” Hongjoong slowly walked towards him, a smile threatening to overtake his face.

“Surprise. I think I like New York better.” Seonghwa smiled at him before Hongjoong threw his arms around his shoulders and hugged him. Seonghwa of course hugged him back and hid his face in his shoulder while his family stared at them with smiles on their faces. He never imagined their second time meeting to go like this and honestly, he was a little embarrassed but he was so fucking happy to be in Hongjoong’s arms again.

“You idiot. If I knew you were coming, I would have brought your present with me.” Hongjoong pulled away and immediately wiped at his eyes.

“What present?” Seonghwa smile incredulously. Of course Seonghwa had a present for him but why would Hongjoong have a present for him if he didn’t even know when they’d see each other next. “You have a present for me?”

“Of course! I was working on it for a while and I didn’t want it to go to waste so I finished it like 2 weeks ago.” Hongjoong continued wiping at his eyes before getting shy and hiding his face in Seonghwa’s chest.

_”You two are just too cute! Come, sit down. Let’s finish opening the presents.”_

Hongjoong honestly forgot they weren’t technically together when he sat down on Seonghwa’s lap at the end of the couch but Seonghwa also didn’t push him off so it was like nothing’s changed.

That is until they were leaving the house and going to Hongjoong’s. They took a cab there, the both of them holding Hongjoong’s presents and Seonghwa’s bags in the trunk.

“Where will you be staying tonight?” Hongjoong asked him. They were sitting with the middle space empty in between them.

“Well, I stayed in a hotel last night?”

“You were here last night?” Hongjoong asked him like he couldn’t believe it.

“Well, yeah, you guys started early so I had to come last night.”

“B-but, we talked yesterday. And you were in your room and…you sneaky son of a bitch.” Seonghwa giggled.

“Okay, whatever. So you stayed at a hotel last night. What about tonight? You have your bags with you.” Hongjoong pointed out.

“Hmm, I was thinking another hotel.”

“No. You’re staying with me.”

“Okay.” Hongjoong was a little surprised that Seonghwa didn’t fight him on it but he was excited that he didn’t at the same time.

They got to the apartment a few minutes later and lugged all the things in their hands up the elevator and into Hongjoong’s apartment.

“Oh, wow. It’s a lot…brighter in person.” It was true that Hongjoong’s apartment had several large windows but Seonghwa almost felt like he had to squint from how bright it was.

“I can close some of the curtains. They’re sheer but it’ll help at least a little bit.” Hongjoong jogged over to the floor to ceiling windows in the living room and shut the sheer rusty orange curtains. They definitely did help a little. Hongjoong then ran back to Seonghwa and jumped into his arms. Seonghwa grunted lightly but laughed and held him by his thighs as he walked them over to the couch. He sat down leaving Hongjoong to straddle his legs and they hugged for a few minutes.

“You said you had a present for me?” Seonghwa asked him, dropping a delicate kiss on the side of his head almost instinctively.

“Yeah, but it’d be easier to show you if you carry me to my room.” Hongjoong pulled back just enough to look at him as he spoke.

“Y-your room?” Hongjoong tilted his head at the slight hesitance to his tone and that’s when he suddenly remembered. Oh, they’re not together. He jumped off of his lap and stood up.

“Y-yeah. That’s where it is. I’ll just bring it out. I’ll be right back.” Before Seonghwa could say anything else, Hongjoong was running into his room to retrieve the 2 foot by 3 foot canvas of a [surrealistic](https://www.instagram.com/p/B76rAAkio63/) painting he did of Seonghwa. It was nearly all monotonous with different shades of blue and bits of yellows and his face broke apart through the middle but it was very clearly Seonghwa.

When Seonghwa looked at it, his jaw dropped and a gasp fell past his lips.

“Is that…”

“Yeah. I did a tinier version of this but as a self-portrait and I just wasn’t really feeling it but then I took a chance with your face on this one and I really liked it. I finished it about 2 weeks ago. Do you like it? It’s a bit surrealistic, isn’t it?”

“Don’t know what that is but this is amazing, Hongjoong. Wow.” Hongjoong smiled nervously as he got his validation.

“I got you something, too.”

“Me?” Hongjoong gently set the canvas down on the dining table as Seonghwa went up to his bags still next to the door to search for the box in his suitcase. He laid it down on the floor and grabbed it from under a few t-shirts.

He brought it over to Hongjoong and handed it to him.

“Here. I wanted to get you something that you’d use. I-if you don’t like them or you don’t use them, I can get you something else.”

When Hongjoong opened the box, he found several tubes of oil paints, two brand new sketchbooks, some brushes, and a few random art supplies that Hongjoong hasn’t really used before but surely will learn how to now.

“Mars, that’s so sweet of you! I will definitely use all of these.” Hongjoong grinned at him as he put everything back in the box.

“Oh, okay, good.” Seonghwa chuckled nervously. Then it got a bit awkwardly quiet.

“So,”  
“Seong—"

They spoke at the same time.

“You go first.” Seonghwa told him. Hongjoong took a deep breath and let it out.

“I wanna talk about us for a minute. Can we?” Seonghwa nodded and walked over to the couch and waited for Hongjoong to join him. When he did, he didn’t sit so close to him to allow himself to concentrate better.

“What did you wanna talk about?”

“I guess I just want to ask you where you’re at right now, like mentally, emotionally.” Seonghwa thought about it.

“Right now, I’m really happy and excited to be next to you again. Mentally and emotionally, I feel great.” Hongjoong looked at him, not really expecting Seonghwa to start smiling a little.

“Oh,…that’s great then.” Seonghwa nodded, still with a soft smile on his face.

“Okay, I’ll be blunt about it. If we got back together again, would you have time for me?”

“I’ll have all the time in the world for you.” Seonghwa said like it was obvious. Hongjoong scoffed incredulously.

“You didn’t have time for me before. Mars, can you be blunt with me too?” Hongjoong almost whined.

“I quit my job at the store. Did you know dog sitters pay a lot, especially in the richer neighborhoods? Plus, my mom is a lot better now and they said they don’t need me to send more money considering the last batch I sent them, they haven’t even touched yet so, I’m yours. All the time. If you’ll still want me.” Seonghwa got a tad insecure again.

“Seonghwa, I’ll literally always want you. I just don’t want to be upset because you don’t have time for me.”

“Mm. I do have time for you. And actually, I’m thinking of moving closer to you.”

“Huh?” Hongjoong’s eyebrows raised way up.

“Yeah, I thought about it a lot. The only people I have for me in Boston were a few friends and I love them and I’ll miss them but, I really want to be with you. Video calls after I’ve already had you in my arms just aren’t enough. It killed me when I couldn’t make enough time for you. It really did. I wondered, maybe if I lived closer to you, I could’ve made all that time up if I were able to stay the night or something.” Hongjoong’s bottom lip pouted naturally as he got emotional at Seonghwa’s confessions.

“You’re too much, Mars Park.”

“A-am I?”

“Yeah, but I think I can handle you.” Seonghwa chuckled, feeling his hopefulness come back.

“Can you?” He was acting a bit playful. Hongjoong smiled and wiped at his eyes. He didn’t necessarily shed any tears but his eyes did water a bit.

“You made me cry twice today. Why did I bother putting on makeup?”

“Sorry, baby.” Seonghwa leaned over and kissed his temple but didn’t pull back too far so when Hongjoong looked at him, their noses bumped.

“I missed you so much, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong admitted to him quietly like it was a secret just for the two of them.

“I missed you too. So much, Joongie. Please, can you give me one more chance?”

“I will literally give you all the chances in the world ‘cause I love being with you and maybe that’s stupid and naïve of me but…I don’t care.” Hongjoong did what he’s been dying to do since he left Boston and that was to kiss his lips.

Seonghwa kissed him back just as desperately. It’s been 2 months since they last saw each other but it felt like forever. Seonghwa thought he couldn’t be away from him for one more second. He grabbed Hongjoong’s thighs and pulled him to straddle his lap again.

Hongjoong was quick to adjust to the new position and Seonghwa was quick to grip his ass tight with both of his hands. Hongjoong, in turn, moaned into the kiss and stuck his tongue into his mouth. Damn, he really missed this. He missed being touched by him like this.

“Don’t treat me like a princess today, Mars. I can take a little throwing around.” Hongjoong smirked then squealed when Seonghwa stood up and carried him to his room.

“Why’s it so fucking bright in here?” Seonghwa muttered before taking what Hongjoong said literally and threw him onto the bed. Hongjoong squawked before giggling.

“Why get an apartment with big windows just to pull the curtains on them?”

“Well, I know my apartment will have one fucking window.” He said as he shut the sheer curtains that only helped so much. It was still relatively bright. Hongjoong grinned at Seonghwa as he walked back to him. He splayed his arms over his head and arched his back the slightest bit.

Seonghwa slowly crawled over his body, letting one hand go under his shirt and bring it up until his nipples were exposed. Hongjoong’s breath skipped when the tip of Seonghwa’s tongue flicked over the hardening nub. He didn’t spend too much time on them before pulling his shirt the rest of the way then taking off his own. Hongjoong moaned at the sight of his torso.

“Where did you find the time to work out?” Hongjoong pressed the palm of his hands over his torso. He didn’t have abs necessarily but he looked a bit more tone than the last time they were together.

“Did I mention I walked a lot of dogs?” Hongjoong giggled then used his limbs to pull Seonghwa back down over him. He kissed him messily, rolling his hips to grind against Seonghwa. In turn, Seonghwa pinned his hips down with his own hips, releasing a few moans himself.

“Get me naked already.” Hongjoong whined against his lips.

“I’m surprised you’re not already.”

Once they were both naked, Hongjoong reached over to his night table to grab the lube and a few condoms.

“What time are we supposed to meet the others?” Seonghwa asked him before they got too carried away.

“Who knows? Just focus on fucking me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a youtube recommendation for that girl painting that painting and i saw it from the thumbnail. it's so pretty
> 
> i hope your day went well. next chapter will be full on smutty again don't worry she's coming back


	19. sparkle sparkle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 2,133  
> twitter: skz_jpeg  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: smut***  
> *  
> *  
> *

The first round nearly knocked the wind out of Hongjoong, by the second round, he was already starting to feel sore but he loved it. Now he was about to go for a fourth? Third and a half one. What can he say? He was insatiable.

He crawled on top of Seonghwa’s body, his chest still heaving slightly from the out-of-this-world blowjob he just gave Hongjoong. Hongjoong wasn’t that much better off but he was desperate to show him the same amount of love and care.

“How dare you make me feel this good.” Hongjoong mumbled between kisses. He dropped a soft, open mouthed one over his lips before reaching behind to touch himself to see if he still had enough lube around his hole. Seonghwa wasn’t in the mood to speak much but he let out a choked moan when Hongjoong slid a condom on him then slowly sunk down on his cock. There was just enough lube to let him slide in nicely but there was still some sort of tug. Hongjoong loved it.

He sat straight up and grinded down a few times before lifting up and sinking back down just as slowly as before.

“Fuck, how can you keep going?” Seonghwa looked down at Hongjoong’s dick and it wasn’t completely hard yet but he still bounced and moaned like he got off on it. Maybe he did. He bounced until he grew tired of the position.

He put his hands on top of Seonghwa’s thighs behind him and planted his feet on either side of Seonghwa’s torso, leaving him wide open for Seonghwa to see _everything._

“Fuck!” Seonghwa moaned then kept moaning along with Hongjoong as he bounced even harder and faster than before. His now hardened dick was bouncing around almost painfully. Seonghwa could feel himself getting close to orgasming for the third time that day when loud pounding came from the front door.

“Joong! Mars! I know you’re in there!” Wooyoung’s voice yelled.

“Fuck, baby. Stop, stop.” Seonghwa hissed at him.

“Do you really want me to or do you want me to make you cum?” Hongjoong paused for a moment to roll his hips leaving Seonghwa’s mind empty and his orgasm to approach much faster. Seonghwa didn’t say anything and he also didn’t do anything to make him stop so he kept going.

Hongjoong bounced a few more times until Seonghwa came. He put a hand over his mouth, hoping Hongjoong’s friends outside wouldn’t hear them. Hongjoong then stopped bouncing but didn’t get off of him yet. He jacked himself off quickly as his friends kept yelling and knocking outside. He bit his lip to muffle his moans as he came over Seonghwa’s torso. 

“Fuck,” Hongjoong whispered, finally feeling too spent for any more rounds. 

“KIM. HONG. JOONG.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP. GIVE US 30 MINUTES. WE’LL MEET YOU THERE.” Hongjoong yelled back before coughing intensely.

“Shit! Baby, get off me. You’re squeezing me too much.” Seonghwa hissed as the muscles inside Hongjoong squeezed his very sensitive dick.

“Ooh! Sorry, baby.” He gingerly rolled off of him and laid down next to him. Their 5 seconds of peace was interrupted by the sound of both Hongjoong’s and Seonghwa’s phones ringing somewhere on the floor. 

“I bet you that’s Wooyoung.” Hongjoong breathed out.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa sighed and got up on shaky legs to retrieve his phone. He sat on the edge of the bed and answered the call.

“Hell—”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET US 30 MINUTES AGO!” Seonghwa held the phone away from his ear as Wooyoung yelled.

“Sorry, we lost track of time. We’ll be there soon.”

“If I see so much as the tiniest hickey on either of your necks, you’re--!” Wooyoung’s voice trailed off as San took the phone and jogged away.

“Ignore him. You guys do you. I’m happy you’re back together. You are back together right? ‘Cause I could hear you two fucking all the way down to the elevator.” Seonghwa blushed and if Hongjoong wasn’t totally fucked out and if they weren’t the horniest trio he knows, then he probably would’ve blushed too.

“Gimme the phone,” Hongjoong asked him and took the phone when it was brought closer to him.

“If you really wanna know, Seonghwa just fucked my brains out three times and gave me the dick sucking of a lifetime. That will explain why we will now take 40 minutes to get there. Okay, thank you, love you, bye.” Hongjoong hung up and laughed at Seonghwa’s shocked face.

“D-did you really just,”

“Oh please, San once sent his very lewd nudes to the group chat by accident. Nothing’s sacred anymore between us all.”

“…Oh god, what if we accidentally do that?” Hongjoong giggled.

“That’s different. Woo, San, and Yeo have a group chat because they’re a trio. It’s just you and me. We can’t make a mistake, right?” Hongjoong flinched ever so slightly as he sat up to kiss Seonghwa who immediately put a gentle hand on his lower back.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go? Did I go too hard on you?”

“Hell no! That was so perfect, baby, thank you.” Hongjoong pecked his lips a few more times.

“But we probably won’t have sex for at least 12 more hours.” He patted his chest before carefully rolling off the bed to limp to the bathroom. Seonghwa couldn’t but smile at his boyfriend. Thank God he got to call him that again.

After a minute, Seonghwa followed him into the bathroom where the shower was running. Hongjoong had just gotten in after confirming that the water was warm enough. Seonghwa watched him through the glass door as he bent himself at the waist to let the water run down his ass to get rid of as much lube as possible. When Hongjoong noticed him there, he squawked and stood straight up again.

“Stop! That’s so embarrassing! Oh my god!” Seonghwa laughed then got in with him.

“It shouldn’t be. You’re just trying to get clean. Want me to help you?” 

“That’s embarrassing!” Hongjoong repeated himself.

“Honey, I’ve touched your ass with my tongue. Why’s this embarrassing for you?” 

“’Cause…it won’t be sexual so it’s a little weird.” 

“Okay. If you don’t want me to, I won’t. But I’m not grossed out by it if that’s what you’re really worried about.” Hongjoong lifted his head from where he was hiding it in Seonghwa’s chest and looked at him.

“That’s like…very intimate in a way we haven’t been before. The kind of intimacy that makes me nervous.” 

“Why, baby?” Seonghwa put his other hand on his shoulder and rubbed tiny circles on it while his other hand rested on his lower back.

“I-I don’t know.” Seonghwa waited patiently for Hongjoong to continue. “Like, I know I take naked pictures of myself and send them to you and I show myself to in every way but like, it’s not difficult for me to be sexual with you. I feel like I’m making this out to be way deeper than it is,” Hongjoong chuckled nervously.

“If it’s got you feeling like this, _then it means more than you’re giving it credit for. I want to know what you’re feeling. All that you’re willing to tell me.”_

Hongjoong wrapped his arms tightly around Seonghwa’s waist and rested his chin on his chest, bending his knees ever so slightly.

“I love you. A lot.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Seonghwa let both of his arms rest on top of Hongjoong’s shoulders. 

“…There’s something about nonsexual intimacy that freaks me out a little bit. Like, the only way you can see my body is in a sexual way. And I know it’s not true. I know you love me more than just for that but I never got to just be exposed and not have it be sexual, you know?” Seonghwa hummed and nodded in affirmation.

“And it’s not your fault, before you even get that thought in your head. It’s a me thing and I will work on it.”

“Still, I let things get sexual every time you were exposed. I think you’re gorgeous all the time no matter what. We can be naked and not have it be sexual, I mean,” Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look down at his flaccid dick.

“That’s because we just had sex for like 4 hours straight. I’d think there’d be something wrong with you if you got hard again so soon.” Hongjoong giggled.

“I’ll prove it you. Your body can be seen as something other than just sexual, okay?” Hongjoong’s eyes may have twinkled a little as he looked at him.

“Okay. But right now, can you turn around while I clean myself up really quick?” Seonghwa smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

“Of course. Take your time, babe.”

Their shower was cute and soft. They washed their own hair and bodies but caressed each other lovingly and shared giggly kisses until they began to get too cold.

Hongjoong wrapped himself up in one of his bathrobes while Seonghwa wrapped the towel around his waist before going out to the entrance to bring his bags into Hongjoong’s room. He left them in a corner where it wouldn’t be in anyone’s way and opened his suitcase.

“How are you dressing, babe?” Seonghwa asked him.

“You know, your accent is fading way too quickly.” Hongjoong pouted slightly.

“Good. I hated it. How should I dress?” Hongjoong giggled and spoke as he walked back into the bathroom to do his hair and makeup.

“Just nice pants, nice shirt, a jacket, and a coat.” Seonghwa looked through his clothes and found something to wear. By the time he was done, Hongjoong had dried his hair and clipped it back to do his makeup.

“How do I look?” Hongjoong looked at him through the mirror and then had to turn around to see him better.

“Fucking hot. Has it been 12 hours yet? I might be getting hard.” Seonghwa snickered and held him by the waist. 

“As much as I’d love to rip this robe off of you, you can’t handle me another time tonight.” He leaned down and pecked his lips once. “좀만 참아라.” Hongjoong glared at him playfully before turning around in his arms to continue putting on his makeup. Seonghwa didn’t remove his hands from him, instead wrapped his arms around him and held him loosely and watched as he added a glittery eyeshadow with the tip of his pinky finger.

“That’s pretty.” Seonghwa commented. Hongjoong smiled at him through the mirror.

“Want some?” He said as he applied the same shadow on his other eyelid. Seonghwa thought about it. He hasn’t worn much makeup before, maybe a little concealer here and there but that’s about it. 

“Sure.” Hongjoong paused and looked at him through the mirror.

“Really?” He grew excited. Seonghwa laughed nervously and let him go to rub down the back of his own head anxiously.

“Yeah. It looks pretty.” Hongjoong squealed slightly.

“Okay, okay. Give me a second. I’m almost done.” Seonghwa continued observing as Hongjoong applied a thin line of dark brown eyeliner and a red tint to his lips.

“Okay! Sit here.” Hongjoong patted the closed lid of the toilet and Seonghwa did what he was told.

“Do you want the whole shebang or just some eyeshadow?”

“I guess the whole thing. Go big or go home, right?” Hongjoong giggled.

“Wow, where is your accent going?” 

“Why do you keep asking me that?” Seonghwa chuckled.

“I don’t know. I feel like 2 months wasn’t a long time but in those 2 months, you’re sounding more American.”

“I’ve been living here for more than a year, babe.”

“Yeah, but…it’s only been 2 months since you couldn’t say aesthetics.” Seonghwa chuckled and grabbed Hongjoong by the hips and brought him closer.

“I didn’t know you had such a thing for my accent.” 

“I didn’t either but then I heard you speak and it’s all I could think about.” Hongjoong pouted slightly as he ran a hand through Mars’ damp hair. 

“I love you, Kim Hongjoong. And I love that you love all of me.” Hongjoong almost felt emotional that Seonghwa was aware of that fact and that he was willing to accept that.

“I do. Love all of you.” Hongjoong pecked his lips and then did it again, and then one more time.

“I’m pretty sure 40 minutes have passed so don’t distract me. I’m gonna make your eyes pop.” Hongjoong said, trying to swallow down his emotions for the time being. Whenever he thought about Seonghwa, he just felt so warm inside, excited and light and loved. How he spent the last two months without him, he didn’t know how and he didn’t want to experience that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:   
> 1\. 좀만 참아라 (jomman chamara): be patient
> 
> LADIES AND GENTS AND HOMIES, DO I HAVE SOME SCATTERED NEWS FOR YOU.  
> so, first off, i am sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, i've literally never been so busy in my life and i lowkey love it
> 
> secondly, remember when i said i had a date last sunday??? hahahaha here's the tea. first off, like i said, this dude lived like 2 and a half hours away from me and i was meeting him halfway buttttt i didn't want to anymore because i realized too late that wtf i don't wanna drive over an hour every time i wanna meet this person so i was like shit how am i gonna tell him i don't wanna see him anymore and i was getting anxious over it but then sunday came and this dude baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailed LMAOLMAOSJDOAPD like ok he was a god awful texter to begin with but he left me hanging at 7 pm the night before after i answered something hE asked me and then didn't text me ever again and im like ok? word. 
> 
> so hinge, the dating app i was using, they allow you to "pause" your profile while you focus on one person or whatever right. i unpaused it and i'm a picky bitch so it took me two days to find this guy that i really like and god damnit i hope he likes me too cause nfdsknaodfm the night that we started talking, we played gta with my best friend (with mics biss his voice is so calming to me) for literally 4 hours minimum every night. last night (thursday) was the only day we haven't played but omg dudes, he's so cute and sweet and asked me for progress pics on my project and im like plSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS like me. he listens to rock/screamo music which i honestly didn't expect but we stan. middle school me would be thriving. and he's not illiterate biss. he types better than me and you guys should know how i write by now lmao he uses commas and shit. we. mother.fucking.stan. i told him i listened to kpop and he's like coolcool i don't but that's chill and then he said he doesn't like how some companies treat their performers like slaves and i'm like just fucking marry me. we stan a woke bitch.
> 
> okay so, amongst everything, i've been busy and then literally having the hugest crush on a real life person has been quenching my need to write and i didn't wanna force it so i gave it some time. i'm sorry there are no photo references but literally trying to find a photo reference for seonghwa's outfit was making me not want to keep writing so pls imagine, seonghwa in a nice like black button up shirt with thin white vertical stripes, black skinny slacks, nice black shoes, and a black coat. okay?? thank you. or imagine him however you'd like but this is what i had in mind.
> 
> sorrryyy for the super long ass end notes but what's mother frickin new
> 
> i hope you guys have been doing good. oH. there's one more chapter left my friends 😭😭😭😭 i'm gonna miss you
> 
> ok love you MWUAH


	20. artist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 3,400  
> twitter: skz_jpeg
> 
> *  
> *  
> *  
> ***TW: smut. what's new?***  
> *  
> *  
> *

Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong have been waiting impatiently for the day. The day that Seonghwa left Boston to move to New York. It was a tearful goodbye to his friends but when he saw Hongjoong’s excited face meet him at the train station, it was worth it. 

When he was last there in December, he clicked really well with all of Hongjoong’s friends. So much so that Seonghwa was now settling in nicely in the extra room in Jongho’s apartment. He saved up enough money to pay his half of the rent for 2 months until he found a job for himself. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take him that long, though.

“Hey, Mars, I’m heading to the gym.” Jongho stopped outside his door wearing workout clothes. Seonghwa raised his eyebrows and looked at the clock on his laptop.

“At 11 pm?”

“That’s the best time, man. I usually go at midnight but I feel like punching something right now. Don’t wait up for me, okay?” Jongho gave him a small smile before walking away. Seonghwa shrugged and got up from his desk and laid down on the mattress on the floor. A bed frame wasn’t necessarily in his list of priorities just yet.

He took out his phone and requested a video chat for Hongjoong. A few seconds later, Hongjoong answered it with a toothbrush in his mouth and his bare chest showing.

“Getting ready for bed, baby?” Seonghwa asked him with a small smile. Hongjoong nodded and spat out the toothpaste in his mouth. 

“Might not actually go to sleep, though.” He said after rinsing his mouth out. “What’s up, babe? How was your day?”

“I’ve finished window shopping for the things I hope to get for my room eventually.”

“Ah. Don’t get too much. You’ll be moving in with me soon enough and I won’t have enough space for your furniture.” Hongjoong said cheekily, turning off the lights in the bathroom and walked over to his bed. Seonghwa laughed.

“Damn, I guess I shouldn’t get that king sized bed and frame. I guess your double bed will suffice.”

“Get that fucking bed. We deserve it.” 

“We?” Seonghwa laughed again.

“Don’t act like tonight won’t be your first night sleeping without me since you moved here.” Hongjoong propped his phone on top of a pillow next to him and then shuffled under the blankets, accidentally or purposely, flashing his lower half, solidifying Seonghwa’s suspicion that he was, indeed, fully naked.

“Well, I figured if I just paid 500 dollars to live here I should actually, maybe, perhaps live here.” 

“For 500 dollars, you can live with me and see me naked every day.”

“I already do that, baby.”

“Except for today.” Hongjoong pouted.

“Don’t make me go over there, Joong.”

“What, you’re already getting tired of me?” Seonghwa scoffed at the puppy eyes his boyfriend was giving him.

“Yeah, I’m sick of you. You only love me for my dick.”

“Nonsense! You have a pretty wild tongue, too.” Hongjoong giggled when Seonghwa pointed his camera to the ceiling to hide his blushing cheeks. “Fine, fine. I won’t make you come here. I know we agreed to not jump into this one thing but I already can’t wait to wake up to you every day and not have that impending dread that you will leave soon.”

“I know what you mean, baby. I can’t wait either. But the last thing I want is for us to actually grow tired of each other too quickly. Like, I know I’m not anywhere near that point yet. Hopefully, I never will be but…just wanna be sure.”

“I know, Hwa. I just need to be patient. You know that’s such a difficult thing for me to be.”

“I know, love. Just give us some time.”

Somehow, Seonghwa couldn’t even give them some time. By the end of May, half of his things were at Hongjoong’s because he was almost always there.

Yet, whenever Hongjoong would mention him just moving in already, Seonghwa would still claim that they should wait.

“Hwa, your extra toothbrush is at Jongho’s place, not here. Shouldn’t that say something?” Hongjoong said from where he was resting his head over Seonghwa’s chest in Hongjoong’s bed.

“…no comment.” Hongjoong groaned in frustration.

“Do you just not want to move in with me?” Hongjoong sat up and looked down at him.

“Baby, I told you why we should wait.”

“But you’re here literally every single night except for the day you pay rent ‘cause you feel bad.” Seonghwa sighed and sat up as well. 

“Hongjoong,”

“Just please tell me why you’re so hesitant to move in with me and, and then I’ll stop asking until you tell me you’re ready.” Seonghwa thought about it for a while. He really doesn’t know why he feels so compelled to wait.

“I…honestly don’t know, Joongie. I love you so much and I love waking up to you but…I guess I’m just scared that we’ll be moving too fast and then get bored quickly of each other and then it’s over between us, whether we break up or not.”

“I wish it didn’t hurt me how much you doubt how well we go together.”

“I don’t doubt it!” Except, he realized he must be doubting them if he second guessing himself so much. He didn’t like that. “Maybe,…I’m insecure or something.” He admitted softly.

“We can work through that. I’ll help you realize that you can be up my ass about everything and I’ll still be excited to come home to you.” Hongjoong pushed the blankets away from the both of them and straddled his bare thighs. “Do you get excited to go to sleep with me these past nights?”

“Of course I do. When you wrap your arms around me and rest your head under my chin, I still get butterflies.” Hongjoong blushed at his confession.

“Then please don’t doubt that you make me feel the same way.” Seonghwa slowly nodded.

Hongjoong leaned down to kiss his lips. He’s sure he’ll never, ever, ever get used to the feeling of their lips pressing together like this. Seonghwa’s lips were so soft and plush and hugged Hongjoong’s so perfectly.

“You know, it’s been about a day since you last fucked me. I think that’s our personal record since you moved here.” Seonghwa chuckled at Hongjoong’s cheekiness. 

“Do you want me to fuck you or are you trying to make me make that record even longer?”

“Don’t you dare. I’ve waited patiently to have your dick in me again.” Seonghwa’s laugh was cut off by Hongjoong pressing their lips together again and grinding his bare body over Seonghwa’s boxer clad one.

“You know what I’m in the mood for though?” Seonghwa whispered against his lips.

“What is that?” 

“I wanna see you open yourself up for me.” Seonghwa licked at Hongjoong’s bottom lip before moving back to grab the lube that, at this point, resided on top of the night table. They’ve learned that it was annoying having to go inside the drawer to grab condoms and lube every single time.

He handed the half empty bottle to him, the fourth one they’ve bought since Seonghwa moved closer.

“You have such a thing for me touching myself.” 

“Like you don’t have a thing for me doing the same.” Hongjoong moved to lay on his back while Seonghwa moved to the end of the bed and sat facing him. Hongjoong shamelessly spread his legs and lifted them up, giving Seonghwa a clear view of his somehow still puckered hole. 

Hongjoong let his hands roam up and down the inside of his thighs and caress his own ass before spreading his legs even further apart. He let out a sated moan before reaching once again for the bottle of lube and squeezing a quarter sized amount onto his fingers. He pushed the cap back down on the bottle and threw it to the side before reaching down to rub the lube onto his hole.

He gasped lightly from the sudden coldness of it but just as quickly as he felt it, he got used to it and didn’t wait another second to dip a finger into himself. He did this all without looking away from Seonghwa’s face. He wasn’t looking at him, per say, but down to where his fingers were entering.

“Is this what you like to see, baby?” Hongjoong sounded out of breath already.

“You know I do, Joong. Do me a favor, stick another one in you.” Hongjoong moaned as he did what he was asked. It just barely stung but it went away quickly. Hongjoong wasted no time in drilling his fingers into himself as fast as he could, already feeling like nothing would be enough unless Seonghwa fucked him.

“Hwa, please, how long are you gonna make me do this?” Hongjoong whined as he stuck another finger in him without waiting for Seonghwa to tell him to do so.

“Until you can’t take it anymore.” 

“I already can’t!” Hongjoong nearly screamed. His fingers weren’t hitting the right spot, he was stuck between being pleasured and not feeling a thing. He needed Mars to finish him off. He whined again when Seonghwa made no move to help him out.

“Hwa!”

“Shut up, Joong.” Something in Hongjoong’s chest perked up and it made him excited. “You wanted to do this. So you get yourself off.”

“But, Mars, I can’t reach it. My fingers aren’t long enough.” Hongjoong was about ready to literally beg, he’d cry actual tears if he didn’t get what he wanted, no, _needed_ right now.

“You’re such a brat. Can’t even get yourself off without me anymore, huh? You’re so clingy.” Hongjoong didn’t know where this side of Seonghwa was coming from but it made him blush in the most pleasurable way.

“Maybe if my boyfriend actually gave me what I needed I wouldn’t complain so much.” Hongjoong sniped back.

“Hmm. Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.” Seonghwa tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Fuck you, Mars!” Seonghwa smirked and slowly crawled over his body. Hongjoong immediately removed his fingers so Seonghwa stopped and sat back on his calves, only having moved a few inches closer.

“Who said you could stop?” Hongjoong whined and tried to bring him closer with his feet.

“Hwa! You’re being so annoying right now.” Seonghwa smacked his legs away but continued crawling slowly back over him.

“Tell me why you deserve me right now?” He asked once his face was above Hongjoong’s.

“Because you love me. And you love seeing me like this, whiny and begging for your cock.” Hongjoong cupped his face with his hands and licked at his lips. Seonghwa quickly pressed their lips together almost painfully but Hongjoong didn’t mind. He kissed him back just as hard and wrapped his limbs around his body. 

Seonghwa shoved his arms underneath Hongjoong’s back to pull him closer to him until they were both sat up with Hongjoong on his lap. He grabbed his own dick and moved it to stand up against Hongjoong’s ass making them both moan at the feeling. 

“Please, I don’t wanna wait anymore.” Hongjoong whined against his lips. Seonghwa tried his best to find the bottle of lube while not taking his lips off of Hongjoong’s but in the end, he grunted in frustration and pulled away to see that the bottle was just a few inches away from where he was searching. He leaned over and grabbed it.

“Shit, wait, baby, let me get a condom.”

“Noo! Hwa, hurry!” Hongjoong bounced lightly on his lap.

“Baby, let me go so I can—”

“We don’t need one! Just, please, Hwa,” Hongjoong sounded like he was about to cry as he begged Seonghwa to just fuck him already.

“Baby, are you sure? Do you know what you’re asking me right now?” Seonghwa held Hongjoong down while he looked at his eyes to ask him.

“I’m sure. I’m really sure. Please.” Hongjoong asked him a bit more calmly. Seonghwa nodded and pecked his lips a few more times before uncapping the lube and letting it pour down the tip of his dick. Hongjoong rubbed it around him before he got the chance to do it himself and then, rather impatiently, rose and positioned the head of his dick over his hole.

“Wait, baby, let me just,” Hongjoong whined but let himself be moved around until Seonghwa was resting on his back on the bed with Hongjoong straddling his waist on top of him.

“Go ahead,” Hongjoong kept the eye contact as he reached behind him to grab Seonghwa again and finally sink down on his bare cock. This felt just a little different, almost like he was unfamiliar with him and finally getting acquainted with his dick. Seonghwa’s eyelids twitched as he struggled to keep the eye contact as he felt just how tight Hongjoong was. He felt like he was being sucked in but it felt so damn good.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. How is that possible?” Seonghwa finally gave in and closed his eyes, feeling like he couldn’t keep them open any second longer. Hongjoong began to move slowly at first, swirling his hips around gently as he sunk back down until he felt ready enough to pick up the speed. 

His hands rested on top of Seonghwa’s chest and he let his fingernails leave marks over them as he leaned his weight on him. Seonghwa didn’t complain one bit. In fact, he let Hongjoong do whatever he wanted with him, he didn’t try to change the pace or make him move a certain way. He just wanted Hongjoong to get himself off on him and by the looks on his face and the sounds he was making, he was getting there. 

“Fuck, f-fuck, Hwa. Come here, get on top of me.” Hongjoong moved off of him and laid on his back next to him and pushed him to get up. Seonghwa did so and didn’t hesitate to pull his legs up and slip right back in. Hongjoong moaned loudly, the kind that made Seonghwa flinch a little but then smirk at the sight of his face. His eyes were clenched shut and he seemed unable to close his mouth. 

“You’re so hot, baby. You don’t even have to try.” Seonghwa grunted as Hongjoong clenched around him right as he came. Hongjoong squeaked a little before letting out a moan. That was the hardest he’s come in a while. 

“Where do you want me to come, baby?” 

“Not in me. Too lazy,” Hongjoong whined as he began feeling a little too sensitive. Seonghwa thrusted into him a few more times before pulling out and jacking himself off. He leaned down to connect their lips and just let them keep touching until he came. He moaned and breathed into his mouth as his body twitched slightly from the overstimulation.

He slowly rolled over to lay on his back next to Hongjoong and closed his eyes as the both of them tried to gain back their regular breathing.

“We should do that more often.” Hongjoong commented.

“What, have sex? More?” Seonghwa asked him like it would be an inconvenience but really they had some form of sex on the daily.

“No! Baby, my asshole would literally shed tears. I meant without a condom.” Hongjoong tilted his body towards Seonghwa but didn’t roll over, not really keen on getting cum on his sheets. 

“Oh,” Seonghwa chuckled. “Yeah, that felt really good.” 

“Mm…Mars?” Seonghwa hummed in acknowledgement. 

“I love you. A lot.” Seonghwa finally opened his eyes and looked over at him. Hongjoong’s eyes were soft and he looked very vulnerable, it almost made Seonghwa panic but he reigned it in.

“I love you, too, baby. So much.” He turned onto his side to face him and cupped his jaw with his hand, rubbing his thumb over his cheek. They looked at each other for a few moments when a question popped into Hongjoong’s head. He’s been meaning to ask him this for a few months when he realized it.

“Oh, I have a question. I’ve been meaning to ask. You had artist written on your page a few months ago. Why was that? I’ve never seen you post any art.”

“Ah,” Seonghwa chuckled nervously. “Yeah, it’s…it’s kinda stupid and cheesy, it’s embarrassing,” Seonghwa closed his eyes as a blush crossed his cheeks.

“Tell me. Come on, I love you. You know I won’t judge you terribly.” Seonghwa sighed and lifted a finger to trace invisible circles around Hongjoong’s arms.

“It was more of a…like a, shit, what’s the word……a hyperbole?”

“Okay,”

“Like, I believe everyone is an artist in some way, shape, or form. I felt like my art was a mystery. I don’t draw, I don’t build things, I don’t take photos necessarily but I’ll cook. I can wrap a pretty neat present. I can arrange things by color and it’ll look aesthetically pleasing. And that’s not really considered art but it’s the only form I can do. The simple things in life that makes people think, ‘wow, this is visually pleasing’ but they wouldn’t go ahead and call it art or something. I don’t know. It’s stupid. I think I just made that up one day to make myself feel better.”

“No, no, I get it. I see what you mean. I think the way you express yourself is an art. The way you style your hair, the way you dress yourself, the way you pamper yourself, I guess. I could watch you do that all day. It’s captivating, just like any other art form is.” Seonghwa blushed again at his words.

“I could say the same for you. Of course your paintings are amazing, and I know we’ve talked about your naked body not being purely sexual but it’s gorgeous. The most beautiful piece of art I’ve ever seen.” Seonghwa ran a hand up and down the side of Hongjoong’s body as he spoke, leaving a trail of fire everywhere he touched. Hongjoong for a moment didn’t care about the drying cum on his stomach and moved to straddle Seonghwa’s waist to kiss him deeply. Seonghwa kept his hands on Hongjoong’s waist, not letting them travel anywhere else but he let his thumbs rub circles over his hip bones. 

Hongjoong pulled away and when he opened his eyes, he saw that Seonghwa’s were still closed and his lips were still slightly pouting like he got so lost in the kiss, he needs to find his way back.

“I love you so damn much. I really don’t ever want to be without you.” Hongjoong confessed to him.

“Good. I wouldn’t want to be without you either. And you’re right. You make me so happy all the time, I don’t know why I’m so hesitant.”

“So…what are you saying?” Hongjoong sat up a little more to really look at him.

“Would you really like me to move in?”

“I’d literally would not want anything more.” Hongjoong began smiling. 

“Great. So when can I move in my things?” Seonghwa smiled back at him. Hongjoong squealed.

“Right fucking now! Let’s go!” Hongjoong hopped off of him and began pulling at his arm.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

“Babe!” Seonghwa laughed. “Hold on. Come here real quick.” Once he was sat at the edge of the bed, he pulled Hongjoong closely until he was standing in between his legs. Slowly, he let their lips move against each other, there was no tongue, just small little pecks.

“I love you, Joongie.”

“I love you, too, Mars. Can we go now?” Hongjoong began practically vibrating. Seonghwa chuckled and began standing up.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Hongjoong immediately zoomed into the bathroom to clean himself up enough to leave the apartment.

“Hurry!” He yelled from the bathroom. This was a new chapter in their lives and Seonghwa now found himself acquiring the courage to continue reading. As he looked at Hongjoong checking the temperature of the water from the shower, his little butt sticking out as he leaned forward, he just felt so much love, he almost didn’t know what to do with it. But when Hongjoong turned around and smiled at him and motioned for him to hurry to him, he at least knew where to direct it at. At Hongjoong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?? I'VE MISSED YOU.  
> I'm sorry for this little mini hiatus. I've been reading this chapter in such small increments and wondering how to finish it. I got stuck in the smut bc i need to be in the right mood and head space to write it and i have tea. so much tea. that i hope you learn from bc i hope i have.
> 
> before i get into my usual rambling, i first want to thank all of you for reading, commenting, leaving kudos on this story. i really appreciate it so much and if you commented, i loved seeing your users pop up on my email notifs and seeing what you thought of the chapter and such. it lit would make my day. thank you to those who told me if i was doing great, that i shouldn't feel pressured to update so much, and telling me your thoughts on what's going to happen next and things like that. I live for it.  
> If you didn't comment but left kudos, i also appreciate that a lot too! don't feel pressured to comment, that's okay!
> 
> anyways, here's to another ateez au! i hope this ending was satisfying enough!
> 
> now to my tea. it's boy tea. tw: mention of anxiety attacks.  
> so, about the guy i talked about last time, 🙄 why ain't no one tell me boys aint shit???? park seonghwa, jeong yunho, kim hongjoong, kang yeosang, jung wooyoung, song mingi, choi jongho, and choi san are the only men ever okay? so, the guy i talked about last time, i have to drop him man. it's lit so upsetting. he ghosts me even after i told him that it's annoying when he does that and he apologized yet ghosted me AGAIN and i know he's online cause all he fucking does is play the same game for hours on end. anyways. bye to him. i had a boyfriend for 3 days and i had a major anxiety attack that my professor caught me in the beginning of it 🙃 love that. but she excused me from classes and told me i didn't need to come if i was feeling like this so i yeeted cause i lit could not keep it together. i had an anxiety attack bc i realized, i'm a shallow bitch and this guy was literally perfect. so perfect. like he offered to leave work right then and there to meet me at my school to help me through my anxiety. but i couldn't get myself to be physically attracted to him and that's a major thing for me. it wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to me but i didn;t know how to tell him bc why tf did i agree to go out with him even if i got no butterflies when we kissed or anything? like i felt like such an asshole. anyways. we're friends still bc like i said he's the nicest fucking human ever and doesn't have a mean bone in his body. it'sfjsdiosdofj he deserves so much and to be happy and find the best person for him and i will tell him this every day until he believes it.
> 
> anyways, learn from me. don't jump into things. if you're unsure, give it time and if it just ain't it, chief, it ain't it. in 2020 we being happy and tHEn getting dick, okay? okay. or vagina or neither. we don't judge in this household.
> 
> anyways again, i love you, pls be happy, pls be safe, if you want someone to talk to about lITERALLY anything. and i mean. Anything. I am here. you can message me on twitter, i always follow back. i am here for your wellbeing and ateez fantasies. okay.
> 
> love you mWUAH


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